a mother physically hurting her crying 3-year-old in an aisle at waitrose, and calling him a "spiteful fucking skinny cunt" over and over
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i agree, annie, that perhaps that is how this woman was treated but i don't think it excuses her from such a disgusting abuse, such awful words, such nasty sentiment, and the possible continuation of such a sick cycle. she lives in the world that we live in, and we don't just know the things that we know because we were brought up a certain way. we inherently do know what is right and wrong in some ways (i don't know that this applies to this situation) but to speak like that to a three year old. to physically hurt them and to imagine that they really know what it is to be "spiteful"... oh annie... what an awful thing to have witnessed and not been able to intervene. i would have wanted to scoop him up then and there and rescue him.
this makes me feel that i can't wait to get into classrooms where i can teach these children and LOVE them, and help them to know that they are important.
i just hope that at some point his mother knows it too. about her child and herself.
we, who really know what it is to be loved, are so blessed.
of course it doesn't excuse her behaviour, but it might explain it. i too hope she realises what effect her actions can have.
the world needs more teachers like shari, and you, and my friend peter (who is sadly retiring this year because of the incredible admin pressure put on teachers here in the uk).
I see this all the time round here, and it constantly breaks my heart. I usually stick with giving the mother evils. It's when you see them smacking them etc for no reason, I just want to go and kill them and protect the kid.
Some people don't deserve to have children, and need help.
oh wait, i did it, sorry. Well, i have anger issues, my nieces have behavioural problems, we won't even go into my childhood, but i do not feel the need to abuse them like that.
that is so horrible and i can only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been to witness. what a horrible thing to grow up with, all that fear and anger directed at a child when they are too young to understand any of it
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yep, it can be broken. but only when people can get a break from the cycle and start to understand why they behave as they do. and it really seems that in a lot of people's lives there is no looking beyond the immediate. my father had a very violent and abusive father, and yet he really tried hard not to be like that with us, and generally succeeded.
i hope what i saw was a one-off. but there was such venom in her voice, i kind of doubt it. i used to babysit a little girl whose mother was constantly calling her 'stupid'. which left me to constantly tell her how clever she was for various things. i was sad to leave that job, for the little girl's sake, but relieved to leave the mother.
like you, i doubt it was a one-off. every parent does have a breaking point, but for those whose first reaction isn't too scream and be angry, stepping over the line shocks them. working with kids, i've seen plenty of parents snap and the ones for whom it's a pattern are the ones who keep going. for parents who never do it, it never lasts long because what they're doing scares them.
the reason it broke my heart was that i was never spoken to like that as a little child (or an older one, my mother would get angry but never abused us verbally or physically), and yet for different reasons i know i spent a lot of my childhood feeling unsafe and alone. and now i revisit those feelings far too often and frankly it shits me to tears. i dread to think how i would be now, if i would be now, if someone had treated me like that. children are so fragile. i've learned so much through therapy about just how sensitive children are, and it hurts me so much that everyone doesn't instinctively see that. i'm so glad i had that realisation before i had children. i won't be just blindly repeating the mistakes of my forebears.
his crying...i just wanted to pick him up and hold him and tell him it was ok, that he was loved and special. how can a 3-yr-old be spiteful???
I have mixed feelings on the parents who do this, for obvious reasons. I didn't know it was wrong as a young child, but once I was interacting with other families a lot, I realized it WAS wrong, and it was NOT something every child had to go through. So I don't really buy the, "the parent didn't know it was wrong/know what they were doing." Because you do, after a certain point. Even with my own parent who was that way (and was one in a long line of parents who treated their children that way), he knew damn well it wasn't right. It's up to them to seek help. I feel only for the child(ren), because I've been there. If there is any sense that I'll be that way with my kids, you better believe I'll get help ASAP, if not sooner. BEFORE I actually cross a line. I mean... I dunno. I don't believe people don't know what they're doing is wrong. I grew up with it and I know full well it's wrong. Many many many years ago, perhaps it was harder to see that it wasn't right, but in the last 30 years or so, it's pretty obvious. Especially this day
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i think there are people though, who are just so detached from their true selves, that they wouldn't give a second thought to abusing a child - in their view, they're reacting to whatever the child did in a reasonable way, or the child is actually trying to aggravate them so they're getting what they deserve. it's like they don't see the child as a child, but as another adult (which is a sign of immaturity i think) and they're entitled to expect adult behaviour from them, and hit back as they would to another adult who treated them (in their opinion) badly or didn't do what they wanted them to do.
these are damaged people, ignorant people. people who, for whatever reason, aren't thinking beyond this second. i feel sorry for them, but sorrier for their children.
i don't know. hopefully i will have a child and then be able to comment with a bit more hands-on knowledge.
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this makes me feel that i can't wait to get into classrooms where i can teach these children and LOVE them, and help them to know that they are important.
i just hope that at some point his mother knows it too. about her child and herself.
we, who really know what it is to be loved, are so blessed.
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the world needs more teachers like shari, and you, and my friend peter (who is sadly retiring this year because of the incredible admin pressure put on teachers here in the uk).
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Some people don't deserve to have children, and need help.
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my father had a very violent and abusive father, and yet he really tried hard not to be like that with us, and generally succeeded.
i hope what i saw was a one-off. but there was such venom in her voice, i kind of doubt it. i used to babysit a little girl whose mother was constantly calling her 'stupid'. which left me to constantly tell her how clever she was for various things. i was sad to leave that job, for the little girl's sake, but relieved to leave the mother.
gentleness, yes.
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his crying...i just wanted to pick him up and hold him and tell him it was ok, that he was loved and special. how can a 3-yr-old be spiteful???
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i think there are people though, who are just so detached from their true selves, that they wouldn't give a second thought to abusing a child - in their view, they're reacting to whatever the child did in a reasonable way, or the child is actually trying to aggravate them so they're getting what they deserve. it's like they don't see the child as a child, but as another adult (which is a sign of immaturity i think) and they're entitled to expect adult behaviour from them, and hit back as they would to another adult who treated them (in their opinion) badly or didn't do what they wanted them to do.
these are damaged people, ignorant people. people who, for whatever reason, aren't thinking beyond this second. i feel sorry for them, but sorrier for their children.
i don't know. hopefully i will have a child and then be able to comment with a bit more hands-on knowledge.
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