Wrote this a while ago. Let's call it: Romance?
What is our predisposition toward romantic stories? We’re obsessed with ‘couples’. We weep when two people in stories don’t get together, we cheer when they do, we watch and listen and gossip about couples. We want to hear about their problems and discuss every nuance. We do it with fictional characters, we do it with celebrities and we do it with our friends and family. Lovely.
Why do we do this? What is our obsession? Is this our goal? To be in a relationship? To find someone with which to share your private moments? Is this our purpose? Obviously not for everyone, but this is our obsession. We desire to be with another person. I’ve said this many times, but I’m fairly certain it’s a fact: Humans are social by nature. We desire the company of other people. All any of us really seem to want is to find someone who gets us and loves us for our quirks - in spite of our quirks. I would love to find someone who is ok with my ‘being emo in the morning’, as my sister has described me. I’m a moody fuck in the morning! If only there were some man who found that endearing!
Anyway, here’s the giant question, right: Are we obsessed with coupling because of some inherit predisposition in our nature? Or is it a societal qualm?
Well, Peanut Gallery???
I’m honestly asking this question. I would like to know. Why do we do this? I know why I gossip. I know that is a societal thing. But what is it in our nature that prompts us to discuss and obsess over other peoples’ relationships? We’ve written so dang many stories and songs about this one thing: relationships. Not only relationships, but Love. Have either really changed in the past six million years or however long humans have been walking around on this great, green earth?
I suppose not. Just the people. Like what Kynaston (or was it Betterton?) who commented in Stage Beauty that the play might not change and how an actor might play a part might not change, but they keep getting new audiences who don’t notice how bad the performance is, and thank god for that! It’s not that our obsession with couples is the problem, it’s just new every generation and every generation needs to work out how they feel about it.
Really the thing has got to be just that: with the world constantly changing there are new issues integrated with the old issues that the new generation needs to work out. So the new writers and songwriters and filmmakers and cartoonists write epistles, stories, songs, etc about Love and being in Love and falling in Love and finding Love and questing after Love. Whether or not it’s an inherit human thing or if it’s a societal thing we do it. And this obsession with relationships is just us trying to figure out what these things mean to us.
While it would be nice if there were some stories about young people going after their passions instead of bitching and moaning about how they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend or how all their friends have kids and they don’t or whatever, but at the same time, this is the main thing that appears to be on peoples’ minds. We’re curious, we’re interested, most of us, anyway, desire this one thing: to find someone who loves you, someone you can trust, who will back you up in whatever, someone, as the dad says in Juno, someone who thinks the sun shines out of your ass even when you’re being a colossal jerk or having a shitty day, someone who finds your being emo in the morning endearing.
That’s all we want. We should be allowed to want that without judgment. We shouldn’t be afraid of what that means. It means we’re human.
*Just to clarify: I still don’t think this ought to be a person’s main goal in life. I think we should pursue other interests - things that are actually worthwhile and our passions and all that - but I also think that it is ok that we also have these desires to pursue romantic relationships.
**I also think we write so much about them and all that in order to figure out our own feelings on this subject. Perhaps the author or composer wants a relationship like the one they’re writing about or they’re exploring a feeling they had and that is why we have so many of these stories and songs.
***I no longer feel like a sell-out for working on a story about a romantic relationship.
Why do we do this? What is our obsession? Is this our goal? To be in a relationship? To find someone with which to share your private moments? Is this our purpose? Obviously not for everyone, but this is our obsession. We desire to be with another person. I’ve said this many times, but I’m fairly certain it’s a fact: Humans are social by nature. We desire the company of other people. All any of us really seem to want is to find someone who gets us and loves us for our quirks - in spite of our quirks. I would love to find someone who is ok with my ‘being emo in the morning’, as my sister has described me. I’m a moody fuck in the morning! If only there were some man who found that endearing!
Anyway, here’s the giant question, right: Are we obsessed with coupling because of some inherit predisposition in our nature? Or is it a societal qualm?
Well, Peanut Gallery???
I’m honestly asking this question. I would like to know. Why do we do this? I know why I gossip. I know that is a societal thing. But what is it in our nature that prompts us to discuss and obsess over other peoples’ relationships? We’ve written so dang many stories and songs about this one thing: relationships. Not only relationships, but Love. Have either really changed in the past six million years or however long humans have been walking around on this great, green earth?
I suppose not. Just the people. Like what Kynaston (or was it Betterton?) who commented in Stage Beauty that the play might not change and how an actor might play a part might not change, but they keep getting new audiences who don’t notice how bad the performance is, and thank god for that! It’s not that our obsession with couples is the problem, it’s just new every generation and every generation needs to work out how they feel about it.
Really the thing has got to be just that: with the world constantly changing there are new issues integrated with the old issues that the new generation needs to work out. So the new writers and songwriters and filmmakers and cartoonists write epistles, stories, songs, etc about Love and being in Love and falling in Love and finding Love and questing after Love. Whether or not it’s an inherit human thing or if it’s a societal thing we do it. And this obsession with relationships is just us trying to figure out what these things mean to us.
While it would be nice if there were some stories about young people going after their passions instead of bitching and moaning about how they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend or how all their friends have kids and they don’t or whatever, but at the same time, this is the main thing that appears to be on peoples’ minds. We’re curious, we’re interested, most of us, anyway, desire this one thing: to find someone who loves you, someone you can trust, who will back you up in whatever, someone, as the dad says in Juno, someone who thinks the sun shines out of your ass even when you’re being a colossal jerk or having a shitty day, someone who finds your being emo in the morning endearing.
That’s all we want. We should be allowed to want that without judgment. We shouldn’t be afraid of what that means. It means we’re human.
*Just to clarify: I still don’t think this ought to be a person’s main goal in life. I think we should pursue other interests - things that are actually worthwhile and our passions and all that - but I also think that it is ok that we also have these desires to pursue romantic relationships.
**I also think we write so much about them and all that in order to figure out our own feelings on this subject. Perhaps the author or composer wants a relationship like the one they’re writing about or they’re exploring a feeling they had and that is why we have so many of these stories and songs.
***I no longer feel like a sell-out for working on a story about a romantic relationship.