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Jul 01, 2009 19:30

I used to write on LiveJournal all of the time, but then I quit for whatever reason. Tonight, I decided I would start again though. I was actually planning on starting a new journal because I can never remember the login info for this one, but it gave me so much trouble trying to start one, I decided I would just use this one. Looking back, I’ve written a couple entries in the last couple months (I’m not sure what’s up with the date on some of them. The one where I’m talking about an Intro to SAO test is from December. Yet it seems to think I posted it in April.).

I want to start my life over. I feel like deleting all of my email accounts, my Facebook, my MySpace, all of the various blogs I have scattered all over the internet, my website, the random accounts I have on various websites (some of which I'm sure I've forgotten about). Then I want to start over. With just 1 email account. A Facebook that is not full of crap. I could probably skip the MySpace with 100 friends, most of whom I don't talk to, and a lot of whom don't even log into their accounts anymore. I could kill off all of the spam that piles up in my inbox, spam, and junk folders. It would be like just completely re-creating myself. It would be the fresh start that I am dying to have. Why don't I then? Well, for one thing, it's just not as simple as deleting all of the accounts I am aware of. I have 725 friends on Facebook. I have met all of them at one time or another, but I don't necessarily remember who they all are anymore, and I doubt all of them remember me or would still add me as a friend if I added them. Second of all, the process of deleting one's Facebook is painful. You have to go through and individually delete every single friend, photo, note, etc. To say the least, it would be time consuming. Plus, I like that number- 725- it makes me feel like I have lots of friends, when it actuality, I don't have that many. So, I will put up with the mess that I seem to have created through my online persona. I will tolerate the spam that piles up daily in my inbox.

Guys, guys, guys. Oh, where to begin? I made a bit of a boy-crazy reputation for myself at school. I liked a different guy every week. Usually multiple guys at a time. The times I admitted that I liked them, it was in about the creepiest way imaginable. I told one guy (who was obsessed with penguins) that he was a cute, cuddly little penguin and he should come warm me up.
I sent another a text about how I loved how phones connected us- when I had met him the night before (if you could call it the night before- it was more like 2AM). Needless to say, the guy now avoids me like the plague. Which is unfortunate because he is a really cool guy and he gives AMAZING shoulder massages. Plus it was just a really cool night the night I met him- I was watching a movie in my friend Wes's room and after the movie Marea was straightening my hair and Randi distracted her, so then Mike (the guy) was trying to operate my straightener and I finally finished straightening my hair myself because I feared my head being burned. Somewhere in there Wes, Randi, Marea, and Mike had climbed up on Wes's bed and they then insisted that I climb up too. After that someone pointed out that Wes's lofted bed was probably not designed to have 5 college students sitting on it giving each other should massages. Wes, being the sensible one, got off the bed, and sat underneath it, at his desk, to use my laptop, to work on a PowerPoint that was due at 8AM the next morning. Marea, Randi, Mike, and I proceeded to just lay there cuddling/massagine each other and it was really nice. Although, it was slightly warmer than I would have liked cause Wes had Christmas lights up and we were laying right next to them, so Mike and I finally opted for sitting on the couch. Then I just had to go and fuck it all up. Grr...
I liked another guy on and off for the entire school year. Yea, he drinks, but I'm actually not gonna hold that against him even though I'm not a fan of drinking. He doesn't go crazy when he drinks (altho there was the time he was peeing off the balcony and everyone freaked out) and he's just a lot of fun to be around. According to my roommate he is an amazing kisser. :) Good to know, lol.

I am a girl. I will eat breakfast, have a foot long Subway for lunch, and still eat dinner. The does not make me fat- I'm 5'10 and I weigh a whopping 125 pounds. I'm sick of people making a big deal of it. So what, I'm a girl and I eat. Get over it.

A guy I met towards the end of the school year is amazing- he may or may not like me back. But I keep thinking about this other guy (the amazing kisser). And then I think about this other guy when I get upset and I just imagine that he is cuddling with and comforting me and everything.

I'm totally off track now. I'm going to quite while I'm still ahead.
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