Hm.
Tonight, as I lay in bed thinking, I realize how much I miss John. I really... Really miss him. I wonder how he's doing, what he's been up to, how Arkansas has treated him, etc.. And I know I'm never going to find out. He's moved on, and has made that painfully obvious. I can't help but feel betrayed and lied to; he always told me what an amazingly genuine person I am, how my friendship meant the world to him, etc, and now he left with hardly a goodbye. I suppose what he came online and said to me was a goodbye; but I had an impression that he was going to keep in touch. And he has not. And, I suppose, I knew all along that this was bound to happen. He is not one to stay in one place for long, or keep friends for long. I just had hoped that I would be one of those weird occurances. He brought out a side of me that I love, and that felt so good.. I could realy be myself with him, and not be afraid to be judged in any way. He made me laugh, smile, and make me feel special.. It was a side I always wanted to stay, but hasn't been brought out since he left. *sigh* I wish he'd come back. I want to cry right now..
In other news, school is tiring, even for online classes. Work is even more tiring, and the two together is draining me. My family came up to Boston for a few days, and we had fun - It was weird to see my family in a city, on a subway - But, it felt good to have them around and to see where I live, how I live, and what I do. I also went home, to my aunt's lakeside house and cabin, and went kayaking. It felt so good to get out of the city for awhile, relax, and drink a beer with my dad.
Nothing much changes; My routine almost stays the same for the most part. It becomes boring. Part of the reason I miss John.
Sometimes you just have to let things go..
And, well.. I'm just not very good at that.
In other news, school is tiring, even for online classes. Work is even more tiring, and the two together is draining me. My family came up to Boston for a few days, and we had fun - It was weird to see my family in a city, on a subway - But, it felt good to have them around and to see where I live, how I live, and what I do. I also went home, to my aunt's lakeside house and cabin, and went kayaking. It felt so good to get out of the city for awhile, relax, and drink a beer with my dad.
Nothing much changes; My routine almost stays the same for the most part. It becomes boring. Part of the reason I miss John.
Sometimes you just have to let things go..
And, well.. I'm just not very good at that.