"he's like, my goddamn shining star now"
(props to danyelle for that great title)
nobody reads this anymore, nor does anyone leave me messages. BOOOOOO HOOOO, feel bad for me. hahaha j/k. I don't really care, because it's more of just some space to get down some useless rambles that no one really wants to hear about. To nikki, jill, karen, and danyelle, it's all pretty repetitive because they hear about it before I write it. And you know whats ironic about that? They're like the only ones that read my journal. HAHAHA. Oof, am I a pain in the ass or what?
I realized this week that I'm not nearly as smart as I'd like to be. And last semester, when I got my 3.8, there was a small light of hope. I thought, hey, maybe I AM pretty smart...i mean, stupid people do'nt really get all A's right? But now, this semester, I feel like a fucking failure. And that is a big exaggeration as to how i SHOULD feel, but since I am the biggest overacheive on this planet, Bs and Cs just arn't acceptable. Although, now , i suppose they are and they will have to be, because I'm not getting As in anything except communications. And its killing me. I almost started crying in accounting yesterday because I got a 77 on the test. These business classes are going to ruin my GPA. I doesn't my Dad understand that? This shit doesn't come natural or easy to me and i HATE it. I got a fucking 82 on my business management exam, and i COULD HAVE HAD A 92 but i fucking read the question wrong. That makes me mad. Because i KNEW that answer. Anyways, I guess all I'm trying to say is all the fucking studying isn't really paying off, so maybe I should just relax a little. Maybe i AM a B student, and maybe that's just who I am. You can't force things onto yourself. Maybe my brain is only capable of retaining enough to get Bs...so maybe I should just accept it and move on. IT's not like I wo'nt get a job because I got B's. Afterall, once you leave college it's the hardwork and not that grades that get you places. It's funny though, because most people would never imagine me being smart. Actually, one guy that I was talking to actually couldn't believe I had a 3.8 last semester. He wasl ike "WHOA...you have to be kidding, I would never imagine you having such a good GPA." And something that REALLY pissed me off? This boy I talk to, whom I really don't want to anymore...I said something about putting off a paper and he was like "and you WONDER why you get bad grades all the time." Um...first of all YOU DON'T KNOW ME...so why the fuck would you make an assumption like that? I wanted to be like, oh wait...3.8 is bad grades in your book? ohh OKAY. fucking asshole. I hate people who think they are smarter than me when they have no idea what they are talking about, or who i am for that matter. Like, I guess I do come off as ditzy sometimes, and i guess it is fufilling to shove good grades in peoples faces when they seem to think they know it all, and that you are a dumbass inside and out. but...seriously. What is it that I do that makes me come across as THAT stupid were people are...basically...stupified by the fact that I do good in school? Seriously. Just because I'm not walking around spitting out facts and statistics does not mean i'm dumb. And what is dumb anyways? What is smart? People that get all A's arn't necessarly brilliant. I for one am not a brilliant person. I have to study really hard to do well. I think I have the same capabilites everyone at this school does, it's just I study. But whatever.......I'm kind of lost in this rambling now. The whole point was, i'm doing shitty, and it's depressing me. And i'm doing all I can too. So I guess this is goodbye 3.8...and hello lonely little 3.0. BLEH!!!!!
I think today is a skirt day. WHOOOOO SKIRTS.
I love drunk messages. Thank you danyelle and nikki you guys made my morning.
Someone pick a concentration for me...quick. Advertising or public relations?
that is all.
xox
nobody reads this anymore, nor does anyone leave me messages. BOOOOOO HOOOO, feel bad for me. hahaha j/k. I don't really care, because it's more of just some space to get down some useless rambles that no one really wants to hear about. To nikki, jill, karen, and danyelle, it's all pretty repetitive because they hear about it before I write it. And you know whats ironic about that? They're like the only ones that read my journal. HAHAHA. Oof, am I a pain in the ass or what?
I realized this week that I'm not nearly as smart as I'd like to be. And last semester, when I got my 3.8, there was a small light of hope. I thought, hey, maybe I AM pretty smart...i mean, stupid people do'nt really get all A's right? But now, this semester, I feel like a fucking failure. And that is a big exaggeration as to how i SHOULD feel, but since I am the biggest overacheive on this planet, Bs and Cs just arn't acceptable. Although, now , i suppose they are and they will have to be, because I'm not getting As in anything except communications. And its killing me. I almost started crying in accounting yesterday because I got a 77 on the test. These business classes are going to ruin my GPA. I doesn't my Dad understand that? This shit doesn't come natural or easy to me and i HATE it. I got a fucking 82 on my business management exam, and i COULD HAVE HAD A 92 but i fucking read the question wrong. That makes me mad. Because i KNEW that answer. Anyways, I guess all I'm trying to say is all the fucking studying isn't really paying off, so maybe I should just relax a little. Maybe i AM a B student, and maybe that's just who I am. You can't force things onto yourself. Maybe my brain is only capable of retaining enough to get Bs...so maybe I should just accept it and move on. IT's not like I wo'nt get a job because I got B's. Afterall, once you leave college it's the hardwork and not that grades that get you places. It's funny though, because most people would never imagine me being smart. Actually, one guy that I was talking to actually couldn't believe I had a 3.8 last semester. He wasl ike "WHOA...you have to be kidding, I would never imagine you having such a good GPA." And something that REALLY pissed me off? This boy I talk to, whom I really don't want to anymore...I said something about putting off a paper and he was like "and you WONDER why you get bad grades all the time." Um...first of all YOU DON'T KNOW ME...so why the fuck would you make an assumption like that? I wanted to be like, oh wait...3.8 is bad grades in your book? ohh OKAY. fucking asshole. I hate people who think they are smarter than me when they have no idea what they are talking about, or who i am for that matter. Like, I guess I do come off as ditzy sometimes, and i guess it is fufilling to shove good grades in peoples faces when they seem to think they know it all, and that you are a dumbass inside and out. but...seriously. What is it that I do that makes me come across as THAT stupid were people are...basically...stupified by the fact that I do good in school? Seriously. Just because I'm not walking around spitting out facts and statistics does not mean i'm dumb. And what is dumb anyways? What is smart? People that get all A's arn't necessarly brilliant. I for one am not a brilliant person. I have to study really hard to do well. I think I have the same capabilites everyone at this school does, it's just I study. But whatever.......I'm kind of lost in this rambling now. The whole point was, i'm doing shitty, and it's depressing me. And i'm doing all I can too. So I guess this is goodbye 3.8...and hello lonely little 3.0. BLEH!!!!!
I think today is a skirt day. WHOOOOO SKIRTS.
I love drunk messages. Thank you danyelle and nikki you guys made my morning.
Someone pick a concentration for me...quick. Advertising or public relations?
that is all.
xox