"I want to save you, I want to save you, I need you, Save me too"
staring at my computer screne, the room is dark, no light except for my monator, i feel cold tears run down my face. ive been feeling this way for a few days now and it was like all of a sudden, i was feeling great and WHAM everything is back! i had a huge fight with my parents tonight and i didnt know what i was going to do...As usual they stood behind my car so i couldnt leave which got me even more upset because all i wanted to do was get away from them! well finally my mom let me go because i told her the truth...she shouldnt leave me to my own devices when im feeling like that and she listened, my father on the other hand got pissed that she decided to make that decision and therefore took it out on her and left. yeah other people reading this might think...holy shit thats messed up...but just to let you in on a little family secret...thats what normally happens in my house! yeah welcome to the family!Well i guess now you can figure out why i am so fucked up its in my blood what can i say.
Tonight was fun it was a distration...i was supose to go to the shore with the guys and ali and spend the night but we ended up having a BBQ and then just watching movies. but then as soon as i got in the car to come home, the tears came again, full force, i wish i could just be selfish and so i could do something and not care how it affects everyone around me, my frieds, my family, anyone...well i guess im off to go cry myself to sleep...back to the old rutean.
beck
Tonight was fun it was a distration...i was supose to go to the shore with the guys and ali and spend the night but we ended up having a BBQ and then just watching movies. but then as soon as i got in the car to come home, the tears came again, full force, i wish i could just be selfish and so i could do something and not care how it affects everyone around me, my frieds, my family, anyone...well i guess im off to go cry myself to sleep...back to the old rutean.
beck