Stop the catbox! Stop the catbox!
I have always found screwed up versions of lyrics to be terribly funny. They even have one of those little daily calendars, you know, where you rip off a sheet every day and there's a new quote or comic or whatever, only with this one, with every day there's a new lyrical fuck up.
RIOTOUS, I tell you. Simply hysterical. <3(3.14)
So then I got to thinking - why not just make up your own screwed up lyrics even when you know the real ones? I thought it might be sorta fun.
So I took the lyrics to some of my favorite songs and I jacked them all up. Why? Because I can, bitch.
Oh, and also because I saw on the news tonight that some whackjob shot his whole fuckin' family and then later today some other whackjob stabbed a 2 week old baby in the head a bunch of times, so I needed to make myself laugh.
Kelly Clarkson - Since You've Been Gone*
ACTUAL LYRICS: "I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "I'm suin' a nun, yeah yeah..."
Bush - Little Things
ACTUAL LYRICS: "It's the little things that kill/tearin' at my brain again..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "It's the little sleazy kids/starin' at my gray pug, Ed..."
Gin Blossoms - Found Out About You
ACTUAL LYRICS: "Whispers at the bus stop/well I've heard about nights out in the schoolyard..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "Whiskers Cat, it must stop/well I've heard about Nassau and his cool art..."
Taking Back Sunday - One Eighty By Summer
ACTUAL LYRICS: "So I live up to your first impression/well my best side was your worst invention/why can't you live without the attention..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "So olive up to your fur's oppression/well my bedside was your worst adventure/I can chew lint without the intention..."
Billy Idol - Rebel Yell
ACTUAL LYRICS: "In the midnight hour, she cried, 'more, more, more'/With a rebel yell, she cried, 'more, more, more...'"
FUNNIER LYRICS: "'In the men I tower', she cried, 'more, more, more'/With a rabid owl, she cried, 'more, more, more...'"
REO Speedwagon - Take It On the Run
ACTUAL LYRICS: "You take it on the run, baby/if that's the way you want it, baby/then I don't want you around..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "You take a ton a rum, baby/if that's the way you want it, baby/the antidote, one churro round..."
AFI - Love Like Winter
ACTUAL LYRICS: "For of sugar and ice/ I am made, I am made..."
FUNNIER LYRICS:"For a surrogate dies/Iron me, iron me..."
Dashboard Confessional - Am I Missing?
ACTUAL LYRICS: "Sharp disaster in a fresh new coma/was it worth it when it was over?..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "Shard of plaster in a French nude cola/wasn't workin' when in Westover..."
*note: The actual track listing for this song on the album is "Since U Been Gone." However, I am highly opposed to stupid abbreviations like that, whether in emails or song titles.
I love you, Kelly Clarkson. But there are some things I just won't do.
RIOTOUS, I tell you. Simply hysterical. <3(3.14)
So then I got to thinking - why not just make up your own screwed up lyrics even when you know the real ones? I thought it might be sorta fun.
So I took the lyrics to some of my favorite songs and I jacked them all up. Why? Because I can, bitch.
Oh, and also because I saw on the news tonight that some whackjob shot his whole fuckin' family and then later today some other whackjob stabbed a 2 week old baby in the head a bunch of times, so I needed to make myself laugh.
Kelly Clarkson - Since You've Been Gone*
ACTUAL LYRICS: "I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "I'm suin' a nun, yeah yeah..."
Bush - Little Things
ACTUAL LYRICS: "It's the little things that kill/tearin' at my brain again..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "It's the little sleazy kids/starin' at my gray pug, Ed..."
Gin Blossoms - Found Out About You
ACTUAL LYRICS: "Whispers at the bus stop/well I've heard about nights out in the schoolyard..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "Whiskers Cat, it must stop/well I've heard about Nassau and his cool art..."
Taking Back Sunday - One Eighty By Summer
ACTUAL LYRICS: "So I live up to your first impression/well my best side was your worst invention/why can't you live without the attention..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "So olive up to your fur's oppression/well my bedside was your worst adventure/I can chew lint without the intention..."
Billy Idol - Rebel Yell
ACTUAL LYRICS: "In the midnight hour, she cried, 'more, more, more'/With a rebel yell, she cried, 'more, more, more...'"
FUNNIER LYRICS: "'In the men I tower', she cried, 'more, more, more'/With a rabid owl, she cried, 'more, more, more...'"
REO Speedwagon - Take It On the Run
ACTUAL LYRICS: "You take it on the run, baby/if that's the way you want it, baby/then I don't want you around..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "You take a ton a rum, baby/if that's the way you want it, baby/the antidote, one churro round..."
AFI - Love Like Winter
ACTUAL LYRICS: "For of sugar and ice/ I am made, I am made..."
FUNNIER LYRICS:"For a surrogate dies/Iron me, iron me..."
Dashboard Confessional - Am I Missing?
ACTUAL LYRICS: "Sharp disaster in a fresh new coma/was it worth it when it was over?..."
FUNNIER LYRICS: "Shard of plaster in a French nude cola/wasn't workin' when in Westover..."
*note: The actual track listing for this song on the album is "Since U Been Gone." However, I am highly opposed to stupid abbreviations like that, whether in emails or song titles.
I love you, Kelly Clarkson. But there are some things I just won't do.