.............
......I can FEEL the lava rising as the day proceeds...
soft becomes hard.
sad becomes mad.
tears become fists.
warm becomes cold.
I get stuck, stewing on these issues, and know that he's allowed out...as work distracts any idle thinking.
I'm trying to stay busy...the yard looks FABULOUS...
but my brain is in circles...
each circle smaller than the one prior.
until we reach a small...ball, or dot. if you may....
that dot...a period~a point.
Point is...I was a promiscuous teenager who played with recreational drugs as provided. Consequently, turned up pregnant and shortly thereafter, decided the party was over...graduated high school with my class, and began life, on its alterred path. All this, during the time he was dropping out of high school, with THE EXCUSE (he admits now) that he thought his girl was pregnant. Truth be told, he wasn't going to have the required credits to graduate on time and rather present the idea that he was voluntarily throwing it away, than not meeting expectations.
BOTH: fuckups. difference: drugs. am I missing something?mmmmm, nope.
I've come to terms with my decisions. I'm proud of who I am. Not of all I've done, but what I've taken from my experiences, and what I turned my mistakes into. I am coming to the conclusion that he just hasn't reached that point within himself, so there is no way that he can understand my position.
I made my decisions, admittedly knowing right from wrong...he made his, obviously knowing he could do no wrong.
UGH! I feel SOOOOOO much better now!!! go figure.
soft becomes hard.
sad becomes mad.
tears become fists.
warm becomes cold.
I get stuck, stewing on these issues, and know that he's allowed out...as work distracts any idle thinking.
I'm trying to stay busy...the yard looks FABULOUS...
but my brain is in circles...
each circle smaller than the one prior.
until we reach a small...ball, or dot. if you may....
that dot...a period~a point.
Point is...I was a promiscuous teenager who played with recreational drugs as provided. Consequently, turned up pregnant and shortly thereafter, decided the party was over...graduated high school with my class, and began life, on its alterred path. All this, during the time he was dropping out of high school, with THE EXCUSE (he admits now) that he thought his girl was pregnant. Truth be told, he wasn't going to have the required credits to graduate on time and rather present the idea that he was voluntarily throwing it away, than not meeting expectations.
BOTH: fuckups. difference: drugs. am I missing something?mmmmm, nope.
I've come to terms with my decisions. I'm proud of who I am. Not of all I've done, but what I've taken from my experiences, and what I turned my mistakes into. I am coming to the conclusion that he just hasn't reached that point within himself, so there is no way that he can understand my position.
I made my decisions, admittedly knowing right from wrong...he made his, obviously knowing he could do no wrong.
UGH! I feel SOOOOOO much better now!!! go figure.