love is an excuse to get hurt
drew wont talk to me..he couldn't bother to say a word to me today. i feel like my insides are dying and my heart is breaking slowly. i wrote him a letter about how he broke my heart..god i feel so pathetic..my mom is mad at me b/c i'm failing algebra 2. oh well it's not like i care, i'm so intent on giving up. we are moving in 4 days. sometimes i wish i could change schools so some of the shit wouldnt follow me. but i cant runaway from my problems. i guess i have to face them this time. so i guess the 1st step to recovery is admitting you have a problem right...well my problem is that i'm depressed. i'm stuck in a world full of emptiness and loneliness and i love my friends but i need something else sometimes to fill that void..i mean i know everyone gets depressed sometimes but i know that i'm not healthy because i'm loosing sleep and i dont eat lunch hardley anymore and i'm not as social. i wish i could talk to someone that understands all this shit. i talk to elyse and she's great but i need to talk to an adult. because i'm not happy, and i hate hurting myself and making myself go insanse. i went up to ivan this morning tryin to talk to him about why he decided to break drew and i up but he wouldnt talk to me. he ran away like a little bitch. thats all he is. a fucking dirty ass mother fucker. i heard a song in the car today that reminded me of my situation wit drew.."cuz i cant make you love me, if you dont" perfect..i wish i could but obviouisly i cant..and maybe one day someone will love me..but now i guess i'm on my own all by myself. thanks god..thanks a lot