I broke up with Nick
This post is going to be all about the title. Nick and I are done. Eventhough we decided on what wedding rings and he had gotten one, and we werre happy (well I was) our relationship is over. Last week I was on his computer and I will admit that I am a nosy/ curious person. I know Nick's email and password and I think he knows mine. So for some reason I decided to look at it. What I found were emails from his to his ex-girlfriend starting in September. That one said stuff like, "I can't help my feelings that tell me I ca't let you go, not without you and I being together with nothing else in the way." And more stuff said, "I only want to hold you, kiss you, and if you let me, love you as my wife for the rest of my life. I will devote my life to you for as long as you'll have me." God I have this shit memorized!
Ok this was part of another one written in October. "I will miss you and probably always will."
And then this was in November....2 freaking week ago! "Something is missing in my life and I know that something is you. If it doesn't work out between you and this guy I would love to date you again...we would have to rush it...we could start all over again. I love you *******" I seriously think a part of me has died.
OK! THATS IT. I'VE HAD IT AND I DESERVE BETTER! I CAN DO BETTER! I flipped out and took a hammer to the glass chess & Backgammon board that ******* gave him. He deserved it.
My friends and family have all been very supportive. Kim and Amber came over yesterday and helped me put all my clothes in trash bags. I took Shelby and Yuki and stayed with them last night. Christina has called me many times to check with me and has also been so loving and caring. My friend Mary today went with me to look at apartments and I've signed for one. I really like it and hopefully I will move into it Tuesday...Wednesday at the latest. It has vaulted ceilings and its huge! I can not thank all my friends enough for their support so I have to give a shout out to these people. Thank you and I love you to: Christina, Kim, Amber, Mary, Andrew, Allyson, all my family, Jessica, and even Nick's parents. Nicks parents have told me that they don't blame me and that their son is in the wrong and that I deserve better. I am going to miss them. My mom offered to come up here and my sister offered for me to stay with her. Again I can not thank everyone enough for their support. I have cried...and cried...and cried...and cried...and I'm pretty much in tears now. This is like 5.5-6 years of my life gone...wasted...wated on someone who is not good enough for me and didn't treat me right. Now I start my life over. I have a new apartment. I'm taking shelby and yuki and I'll be closer to work. I'm going to change my cell phone number and probably all screen names. I will be in touch. Everyone take care.
"Ain't nothing you can say to me that can change my mind, gotta let you go now. And nothing will ever be the same so just be on your way. Go ahead and do your thing now. And theres no more to explain to me, no no, I know your game. I'm not feeling what you do. So I'm bouncin and I'm out son...I gotta leave you alone."