Another doomed relationship (yippee); now on AIM; randomness
So I have this friend who's a lesbian, and we get along really well. We met last year in some of my classes, and though I'm not at that university anymore we've been staying in contact through email and stuff. We hung out a lot and always ended up having a lot of fun, and other than my best friend there's honestly no one else I've felt closer to or trusted as much in a long time.
Long story short, I've missed her a lot and I always get inordinately happy when we talk, and I think that I may in fact be in love with her.
GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT, WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS SHIT TO MYSELF AND FALL FOR PEOPLE THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE IN HELL OF BEING WITH?! You'd think that I'd have been in enough 'relationships' by now that I'd have learned SOMETHING, so what the hell is wrong with me. I hate myself for feeling this way (even more that I apparently can't just be friends with someone and leave my attachments at that) because I can't EVER tell her how I feel-- it's not fair to either of us, and maybe I'm just being selfish but the thought of losing her even as a friend kills me. I've never felt so comfortable with another person, ever clicked so easily, and I'm obviously a masochist for doing this to myself but I'd rather be her friend than ruin it. I've ruined enough friendships like this as it is. I wish I could just stay in bed and feel miserable all day, but I can't do that, can I? I got Resident Evil 5 (because yeah, I buy things when I'm emotionally low), so I might as well take out my perpetual sexual frustration on hordes of the undead.
On a considerably lighter note, I joined up on AIM today (yeah I know, incredibly late to the party LOL), so if anyone wants to IM me, let's trade screen names!
I know the announcement happened ages ago, but I'm kind of bummed about the whole 'waiting another year for Final Fantasy XIII" thing. I know a lot of fans are still bitching about the combat system or whatever but I'm all for something different (especially since I'm pretty sure I'm the only person on the planet who actually enjoyed FFXII and was less than moved by all the other Final Fantasy games). I'm interested to see how it'll end up playing and if the story's at least half-decent anyway.
And today I'm watching my cousin's twins (who are adorable, even if one of them doesn't remember me very well X3) so yeah, full day ahead. Still willing to write drabbles for whoever wants them, so if you've got a request just keep 'em coming.
Long story short, I've missed her a lot and I always get inordinately happy when we talk, and I think that I may in fact be in love with her.
GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT, WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS SHIT TO MYSELF AND FALL FOR PEOPLE THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE IN HELL OF BEING WITH?! You'd think that I'd have been in enough 'relationships' by now that I'd have learned SOMETHING, so what the hell is wrong with me. I hate myself for feeling this way (even more that I apparently can't just be friends with someone and leave my attachments at that) because I can't EVER tell her how I feel-- it's not fair to either of us, and maybe I'm just being selfish but the thought of losing her even as a friend kills me. I've never felt so comfortable with another person, ever clicked so easily, and I'm obviously a masochist for doing this to myself but I'd rather be her friend than ruin it. I've ruined enough friendships like this as it is. I wish I could just stay in bed and feel miserable all day, but I can't do that, can I? I got Resident Evil 5 (because yeah, I buy things when I'm emotionally low), so I might as well take out my perpetual sexual frustration on hordes of the undead.
On a considerably lighter note, I joined up on AIM today (yeah I know, incredibly late to the party LOL), so if anyone wants to IM me, let's trade screen names!
I know the announcement happened ages ago, but I'm kind of bummed about the whole 'waiting another year for Final Fantasy XIII" thing. I know a lot of fans are still bitching about the combat system or whatever but I'm all for something different (especially since I'm pretty sure I'm the only person on the planet who actually enjoyed FFXII and was less than moved by all the other Final Fantasy games). I'm interested to see how it'll end up playing and if the story's at least half-decent anyway.
And today I'm watching my cousin's twins (who are adorable, even if one of them doesn't remember me very well X3) so yeah, full day ahead. Still willing to write drabbles for whoever wants them, so if you've got a request just keep 'em coming.