The journey there
Day 1, 1:00am Edmonton time.
Dear fellow passengers on this auspicious 9 hour flight between Calgary and Frankfurt:
I get it. Flying is stressful and/or exciting. I'm sure we're all heading off to fascinating adventures in Europe or even beyond. But see, the thing is, I have a lot of trouble sleeping on planes (something about the tension of holding myself upright, the exact opposite of my normal sleeping position), especially when long flights like this mean I really have to.
To the large group of high school students crowding up this end of the plane:
Please stop calling out to each other between the aisles about how bored you are, what you find funny about the video you are watching, or what's going to be happening when we land. I don't need to know your schedule too - I have enough trouble keeping track of my own. Listen to your teacher's advice and at least try to get some sleep. I'm done school and I'd rather not pull a completely unnecessary all-nighter, thanks, even if you want to. Give the rest of us a chance to rest.
(Furthermore, if you were the group of 24 who took up the entire Mexican restaurant at the Calgary airport, forcing us to wait for our supper, and who tipped the nice but harried waitress there a grand total of $2 between all 24 of you, for shame. She was almost crying tears of frustration. I realize we all have to save money on trips like this, but that's no excuse for scrounging up so little for her.)
You had also better watch that headphone volume. If i can discern the lines of the movie you are watching from two seats away, I'm sure it's loud enough to damage your ears as much as it is my sanity.
Dear sir across the aisle with the nasty, wet, lingering cough: you really should get that looked at by a medical professional. I suspect you may have the consumption, although keep in mind that most of my medical knowledge comes from reading 19th century medical texts. Nevertheless, it sounds like something nasty from my exposure to it for the last four hours.
Dear woman two rows back at the window to my left: it is just plain inconsiderate to open only your window in this darkened cabin when some of us are trying to sleep. Sure, the dawn outside is probably beautiful, but you illuminate the whole room with your brightness, and not in a good way.
Dear woman with really small adorable daughter five rows ahead of me: you have got it right. Your child is Surprisingly well-behaved, quiet, and cute. I wish there were more of you. In fact, can you and your two-year-old give the other passengers lessons?
In the meantime, I'll try in vain to spontaneously develop the ability to sleep sitting up. Hidden superpowers, manifest yourselves!
Sincerely,
Me.
(In conclusion, though: my family and I have arrived in Spain, safe, as of yesterday evening. Barcelona is a beautiful, bustling city. More on that later.)
Dear fellow passengers on this auspicious 9 hour flight between Calgary and Frankfurt:
I get it. Flying is stressful and/or exciting. I'm sure we're all heading off to fascinating adventures in Europe or even beyond. But see, the thing is, I have a lot of trouble sleeping on planes (something about the tension of holding myself upright, the exact opposite of my normal sleeping position), especially when long flights like this mean I really have to.
To the large group of high school students crowding up this end of the plane:
Please stop calling out to each other between the aisles about how bored you are, what you find funny about the video you are watching, or what's going to be happening when we land. I don't need to know your schedule too - I have enough trouble keeping track of my own. Listen to your teacher's advice and at least try to get some sleep. I'm done school and I'd rather not pull a completely unnecessary all-nighter, thanks, even if you want to. Give the rest of us a chance to rest.
(Furthermore, if you were the group of 24 who took up the entire Mexican restaurant at the Calgary airport, forcing us to wait for our supper, and who tipped the nice but harried waitress there a grand total of $2 between all 24 of you, for shame. She was almost crying tears of frustration. I realize we all have to save money on trips like this, but that's no excuse for scrounging up so little for her.)
You had also better watch that headphone volume. If i can discern the lines of the movie you are watching from two seats away, I'm sure it's loud enough to damage your ears as much as it is my sanity.
Dear sir across the aisle with the nasty, wet, lingering cough: you really should get that looked at by a medical professional. I suspect you may have the consumption, although keep in mind that most of my medical knowledge comes from reading 19th century medical texts. Nevertheless, it sounds like something nasty from my exposure to it for the last four hours.
Dear woman two rows back at the window to my left: it is just plain inconsiderate to open only your window in this darkened cabin when some of us are trying to sleep. Sure, the dawn outside is probably beautiful, but you illuminate the whole room with your brightness, and not in a good way.
Dear woman with really small adorable daughter five rows ahead of me: you have got it right. Your child is Surprisingly well-behaved, quiet, and cute. I wish there were more of you. In fact, can you and your two-year-old give the other passengers lessons?
In the meantime, I'll try in vain to spontaneously develop the ability to sleep sitting up. Hidden superpowers, manifest yourselves!
Sincerely,
Me.
(In conclusion, though: my family and I have arrived in Spain, safe, as of yesterday evening. Barcelona is a beautiful, bustling city. More on that later.)