I got a job... now a new place?
So I haven't posted in the past few weeks because I got a job.... a great job and I've been insanely busy. I'm now the Director of Volunteers & Community Outreach for a local religious non-profit i.e. church, and with a 6 day workweek schedule I have just been trying to keep up. The job literally came at the 11th hour and I am so thankful that God provided me with an opportunity that is more in line with my ultimate career goals as well as the right salary. Now the salary isn't great, I mean I make about 10k less than I used to make. But it was 200 more than what I asked God for, so all I can say is thank you.
Now that I have a job, the old "issues" that I was facing before I quit my job were now back on my radar. Basically, I was looking to move out of my apartment ASAP and once I quit my old job, I put the idea of moving on the back burner, but I knew that I still needed to move if it was God's will for me to be in NYC. Well, about 1 week ago I decided to put my current place on the market because while looking for a place I needed to make sure that I had the $$$ together to move. And being out of work for 6 weeks wiped out my savings, so I was just praying that God would allow someone to take my place so that I could have the $$$ I needed to actually move. Well, PRAISE REPORT, God has allowed someone to take my place and once the check clears, now I will have the money I need to move. What's more is that once I submitted that request to God in prayer and also prayed for Him to open a door for me to move in with a Christian, the next day at church this girl told me that her 2 bedroom place in the Upper West Side just opened! I could see that God was moving in my life, answering prayers and making His will known to me.
However, with me it seems to never last long enough. Although God has brought me through many a tough time, I still have this ability to doubt Him. I asked God for the right job here in NYC if it was His will for me to be here, and at the 11th hour he brought that job my way. Yet, the opportunity to live with the girl from my church may have slipped through my fingers and the reality that I may have to settle and live with a non-Christian or live with a Christian in a neighborhood that doesn't meet my needs, is freaking me out. I took the 10k pay cut because I believed it was God's will for me to take this job. But now because I have taken this job, I can't afford the majority of the places I would want to live in and I have very few (as in 1) opportunity to live with a Christian, in the right neighborhood, for the right amount. Sigh. So I went to see the place yesterday with the girl from my church and the apartment was great, a few cons but no place is perfect. But I thought that we would hit it off so well that she would invite me to move in. Well, she didn't and even worse she's interviewing other people and I just didn't feel good about it.
On the way home I tried to prepare myself for the worst-case scenario, that maybe it wasn't God's will for that and me to be here I may need to quit this job and go home. Or that I would need to settle for less and work my butt off to pay rent for a place that wasn't what I wanted as in bad neighborhood, living with non-Christians, etc. I know myself well enough to say that I would rather just head home then suffer with the latter option. I now, with this job, only get 1 day off per week and the thought of enjoying that day off in a sub par neighborhood or coming home after a long day to sub par roommates...well, that just doesn't sit well with me.
So here I am, again, at another crossroads. What's funny is that I am still not 100% healed from the last storm I went through and I don't know if I can mentally/ emotionally/ spiritually go through another one. I'm almost tempted to just pack everything and go home... I just don't know what else to do. I feel like the more I try and pursue my dreams, God given dreams, that the more I come up against and at the end of the day, I have to ask, "Is it worth it?". I'm so exhausted and I just don't know anymore. I'll keep doing my part, emailing about apartments and attending open houses, but all I can do is trust that God will open the right doors for me. I just pray He lets me know something sooner rather than later, so I can at least buy the cheapest flight home.
Now that I have a job, the old "issues" that I was facing before I quit my job were now back on my radar. Basically, I was looking to move out of my apartment ASAP and once I quit my old job, I put the idea of moving on the back burner, but I knew that I still needed to move if it was God's will for me to be in NYC. Well, about 1 week ago I decided to put my current place on the market because while looking for a place I needed to make sure that I had the $$$ together to move. And being out of work for 6 weeks wiped out my savings, so I was just praying that God would allow someone to take my place so that I could have the $$$ I needed to actually move. Well, PRAISE REPORT, God has allowed someone to take my place and once the check clears, now I will have the money I need to move. What's more is that once I submitted that request to God in prayer and also prayed for Him to open a door for me to move in with a Christian, the next day at church this girl told me that her 2 bedroom place in the Upper West Side just opened! I could see that God was moving in my life, answering prayers and making His will known to me.
However, with me it seems to never last long enough. Although God has brought me through many a tough time, I still have this ability to doubt Him. I asked God for the right job here in NYC if it was His will for me to be here, and at the 11th hour he brought that job my way. Yet, the opportunity to live with the girl from my church may have slipped through my fingers and the reality that I may have to settle and live with a non-Christian or live with a Christian in a neighborhood that doesn't meet my needs, is freaking me out. I took the 10k pay cut because I believed it was God's will for me to take this job. But now because I have taken this job, I can't afford the majority of the places I would want to live in and I have very few (as in 1) opportunity to live with a Christian, in the right neighborhood, for the right amount. Sigh. So I went to see the place yesterday with the girl from my church and the apartment was great, a few cons but no place is perfect. But I thought that we would hit it off so well that she would invite me to move in. Well, she didn't and even worse she's interviewing other people and I just didn't feel good about it.
On the way home I tried to prepare myself for the worst-case scenario, that maybe it wasn't God's will for that and me to be here I may need to quit this job and go home. Or that I would need to settle for less and work my butt off to pay rent for a place that wasn't what I wanted as in bad neighborhood, living with non-Christians, etc. I know myself well enough to say that I would rather just head home then suffer with the latter option. I now, with this job, only get 1 day off per week and the thought of enjoying that day off in a sub par neighborhood or coming home after a long day to sub par roommates...well, that just doesn't sit well with me.
So here I am, again, at another crossroads. What's funny is that I am still not 100% healed from the last storm I went through and I don't know if I can mentally/ emotionally/ spiritually go through another one. I'm almost tempted to just pack everything and go home... I just don't know what else to do. I feel like the more I try and pursue my dreams, God given dreams, that the more I come up against and at the end of the day, I have to ask, "Is it worth it?". I'm so exhausted and I just don't know anymore. I'll keep doing my part, emailing about apartments and attending open houses, but all I can do is trust that God will open the right doors for me. I just pray He lets me know something sooner rather than later, so I can at least buy the cheapest flight home.