Alive I am :)
I am alive!!! Really, I am! Brandon and Janoble both asked me within a week of one another if I am still alive and what not. Very funny. So I'm updating so that people know that I am okay...I am fine. Don't fret! I have a job, a great job that pays fairly well for something that I won't make a career out of. I'm a receptionist/ project assistant for a law office/ cpa firm owned by a husband and wife team. It's small, less than 20 people in the office and the benefits/ perks are awesome. So the hours are sorta crappy, because I wake up at 6am everyday but can't seem to fall asleep until 12am or so. And so everyday I am taking espresso shots, drinking black tea and doing whatever I can do to stay alert. But today is the last day of that because my head hurts due to the caffeine overload and I’m not happy with that at all. However, I am so blessed to finally have a great job that provides well for me and I am full of gratitude for that. I had been searching for a job since May 15th and didn't find work until July 8th. I have NEVER...NEVER had to look this long for a job and apply to so many places, etc. Never before had I interviewed so much...it was awful. Instantly upon leaving LA I was a little depressed to be done with college. I thought about who I wanted to be on that day and realized how far I am from being that woman. Moreover, the lack of clarity on my future assisted in making me feel blue. But as soon as this job search spun outta control from 4 weeks into almost 8 weeks of searching, I was downright despondent. And well, I couldn't write in this journal (at least for public viewing) about the bleakness of my mood, so I wrote for myself in order to hang on for one more day. Yes, it sounds dramatic, but that's the reality of my situation. I see the glass half empty by nature, I suppose, and I tend to do little to fight against that reality of mine.
But things are much better now, because I am actively working towards my goals which is why I came home in the 1st place. I'm working towards my financial goals, paying off my consumer debt, saving, investing, etc. Those things are very important to me because I realize how significantly linked my freedom is to financial prosperity. So while I don't have a husband, kids, or real bills to worry about I am taking this time to pay off what little debt I have, and to heavily invest in my 401K and portfolios. Okay I sound really old so I’ll stop...it just makes me excited to know that I’m using my money smartly. Oh I did shell out some cash to buy an ipod, which I don't need but really wanted… and can I tell you how much happier my commute (of 1 hour) is with this little thing? I’m really proud of myself too, because I usually make big purchases on credit because I hate the idea of spending so much money at once. But with interest and things anything bought on credit gets very expensive over time, so I paid straight cash and yay dat feels really good!
Besides my financial goals, I haven’t been working towards much else…which is going to change as soon as I find a new place. I’m living with my mom, which isn’t so bad minus the small arguments here and there. But what’s killing me is the commute from my house to my job in SF. I don’t have to be at work until 8:30am, so if I lived in Oakland or SF I could wake up at 7am, be out by 8am and be at work by 8:30am. I can wake up at 7am easy…. It’s still early, but it’s light outside and Good Morning America is already on. But 6am really sucks and I feel so unmotivated in those first few minutes…so yeah, I need to move. House hunting has taken up all my non-work hours and left me disillusioned and ragged. So I’m gonna miss my August 1st move date, but one thing this summer has taught me is to be flexible with date oriented goals such as this one. So I’ll give it until labor day, my NYC trip, and hopefully I’ll find someplace then. Hopefully. Even though I’m making very good money, I’m still too cheap to shell out a lot of money for rent. It seems so weird to me… I just can’t do it, unless it’s for my own place or something. But to share a house or apartment??? Nah, I’m too cheap to spend more than 700 bucks or so. And that is with utilities! I’ve seen some crazy places in horrible neighborhoods, so I narrowed my search down to like 6 neighborhoods in SF and 2 in Oakland/ Berkeley, that way I will for sure only see places that fit my needs. I also moved my housing appointments to just weekends, because this after work mess is ick… I need to go home and rest after being up for 15 hours or whatever.
Either than the above, nothing is really going on with me. I miss Kari, Brandon, and people a lot…a lot more than I realized. The distance has made me appreciate these friendships even more, and I put a lot more care and effort into maintaining them. I also got over the jealousy issues with my other friend, but I know I need to ask the Lord to help me with ‘em. This is the second time this has happened with this friend, and I know it’s my issue not hers. I pray God gives me the strength to attack this demon because it will ruin my friendship with here if this happens again. I went more than a month without speaking to her and I could’ve gone longer if I hadn’t prayed for help. Oh and I miss Kia a lot too…. I wish I was traveling with her. It’s strange, I’m envious of her travels in that I wish I could do it too and in fact, I will start researching ways to travel next year. But I’m not jealous of her, even though she’s doing what I dream about doing. It’s strange, but I thank God for that… it feels good to be genuinely happy for my gurl and her adventures. I do miss her a lot, and once again find myself realizing the importance of our friendship when she’s far far away. I pray that we can continue being friends… and since I may post pone the corps until next August, I think Kia and I are planning a trip together, maybe Italy this time? Okay its lunch time and I’m starving.
But things are much better now, because I am actively working towards my goals which is why I came home in the 1st place. I'm working towards my financial goals, paying off my consumer debt, saving, investing, etc. Those things are very important to me because I realize how significantly linked my freedom is to financial prosperity. So while I don't have a husband, kids, or real bills to worry about I am taking this time to pay off what little debt I have, and to heavily invest in my 401K and portfolios. Okay I sound really old so I’ll stop...it just makes me excited to know that I’m using my money smartly. Oh I did shell out some cash to buy an ipod, which I don't need but really wanted… and can I tell you how much happier my commute (of 1 hour) is with this little thing? I’m really proud of myself too, because I usually make big purchases on credit because I hate the idea of spending so much money at once. But with interest and things anything bought on credit gets very expensive over time, so I paid straight cash and yay dat feels really good!
Besides my financial goals, I haven’t been working towards much else…which is going to change as soon as I find a new place. I’m living with my mom, which isn’t so bad minus the small arguments here and there. But what’s killing me is the commute from my house to my job in SF. I don’t have to be at work until 8:30am, so if I lived in Oakland or SF I could wake up at 7am, be out by 8am and be at work by 8:30am. I can wake up at 7am easy…. It’s still early, but it’s light outside and Good Morning America is already on. But 6am really sucks and I feel so unmotivated in those first few minutes…so yeah, I need to move. House hunting has taken up all my non-work hours and left me disillusioned and ragged. So I’m gonna miss my August 1st move date, but one thing this summer has taught me is to be flexible with date oriented goals such as this one. So I’ll give it until labor day, my NYC trip, and hopefully I’ll find someplace then. Hopefully. Even though I’m making very good money, I’m still too cheap to shell out a lot of money for rent. It seems so weird to me… I just can’t do it, unless it’s for my own place or something. But to share a house or apartment??? Nah, I’m too cheap to spend more than 700 bucks or so. And that is with utilities! I’ve seen some crazy places in horrible neighborhoods, so I narrowed my search down to like 6 neighborhoods in SF and 2 in Oakland/ Berkeley, that way I will for sure only see places that fit my needs. I also moved my housing appointments to just weekends, because this after work mess is ick… I need to go home and rest after being up for 15 hours or whatever.
Either than the above, nothing is really going on with me. I miss Kari, Brandon, and people a lot…a lot more than I realized. The distance has made me appreciate these friendships even more, and I put a lot more care and effort into maintaining them. I also got over the jealousy issues with my other friend, but I know I need to ask the Lord to help me with ‘em. This is the second time this has happened with this friend, and I know it’s my issue not hers. I pray God gives me the strength to attack this demon because it will ruin my friendship with here if this happens again. I went more than a month without speaking to her and I could’ve gone longer if I hadn’t prayed for help. Oh and I miss Kia a lot too…. I wish I was traveling with her. It’s strange, I’m envious of her travels in that I wish I could do it too and in fact, I will start researching ways to travel next year. But I’m not jealous of her, even though she’s doing what I dream about doing. It’s strange, but I thank God for that… it feels good to be genuinely happy for my gurl and her adventures. I do miss her a lot, and once again find myself realizing the importance of our friendship when she’s far far away. I pray that we can continue being friends… and since I may post pone the corps until next August, I think Kia and I are planning a trip together, maybe Italy this time? Okay its lunch time and I’m starving.