Grr.....
I am so mad right now...first of all I had a horrible day at work...furniture and trash from an attic, under a house where I found 2 dead cats and a basement where heavy stuff hadda go up the stairs to a fully packed truck in 95 degree weather. To make things worse I am mad about stuff that I have suppressed. Two syllables make me mad...Ken-dra. Gosh...how can she make me so mad...I mean...I didn't get mad at her on the phone when we broke up...I pretended to be alright...but HELLO I WASN'T....sure I am moving on...but I still miss her sometimes...and then she says that she is hurting too or whatever...she broke up with me...I can't read her...never could...and then she fights with me about putting it all on her...I may have wanted to break up with her...but I didn't...other than the fact she made me feel like the lowest life-form on Earth our last week together...she broke up with me the day after I went to my dad's and the day b4 my lil bro's bday...I mean...she could've jabbed the knife in my back and not the front...I was so sad the morning of my bro's bday...and all I could do is smile...I am not sad...but I sure as heck am not happy...she makes me mad trying to play the good samaritan all innocent and don't blame me stuff...well I sure didn't break my own heart at the time...sure I put it back together...and moving on shouldn't be too rough for me...but it is like I was juss her summer science project or summin...and she gets all mad at me for pointing it out maybe a week later...she always said when we were together we needed to have a big arguement and make up...it was beautiful...well here is the arguement..and I am so fuming right now that making up is seeming harder and harder the more I type. I never thought I could get mad at the angel from my dreams...but when she takes off the halo and beats u with it and her wings..u get up off the ground and you're mad....I am incredible hulk mad right now...I am madder than a legless ethiopian watching a doughnut roll downhill...ok to quote larry the cable guy....she makes me furious...she made me believe in the good in people...and believe in expressing my feelings...well here is the bad the mean the fire inside me burning like a wild fire in California...I am expressing my emotions all over the world...maybe that is why I am writing such cool songs right now...they are about us...well my single I am seeing is called the angry song...and I am gonna play power chords and scream as loud as I can the whole song...I have to go before the keyboard breaks or starts smoking and workout...maybe I will feel better after lifting and boxing on the punching bag...I gotta get rid of the anger...I'm out.
Beav
Beav