It's Been A Week...Feels Like A Year...
Ok well I haven't updated this bad boy in a while so here goes. I have been ballin' on the streets of D. C. with the local players...which it was cool when they told me I had mad game and I like now a legend known as the new guy...haha...anyways I have been working my butt off and dad decided to give me tonight's auction off so I could just sit at home. Well I went with the lil bro to Chuckie Cheese's today...I haven't been there in ages. I won him 750 tickets today so he know has well over a 1200 and he can get that big huge thing he wanted. Well I have been single for a week now...and it feels like a year. It is like a force of habit to call her at the same time every day...but yet I don't...I haven't heard her voice since then...it is amazing right. I am not like depressed or heart-broken, yet I still speak her name all the time. I finished writing two more songs last night at like 3 a.m. and I have put music to one of them...I think it is the best song I have ever written even better than pressure for those of us who have praised it...lol. It is just so funny to me, here I am 16 going on 17 a senior in high school that does all these sports, meets all kinds of people and has wheels...I mean the world is at my finger tips....yet every night as I get into bed...I think...and wonder...what could've been...if I was right to just let it end...I wanted out too...I really did...but it doesn't take away the feelings I had, the memories we shared, the way things were at first..so great...the bus rides home...volleyball in the pool...it was just great. I guess that the main reason why I wonder and why I miss...is because the day that I hadda patient die on me..she came out there where I was and hugged me, held me, listened...and told me it was alright...and at that very moment I finally felt like someone truly cared...and my world that was crashing down started to rise up and become whole again. It is really a catch-22. I feel guilty about it all...I want to move on...I have moved on...and I won't look back...but the feelings are still there...I can't hide them...suppress them...and maybe that is why I still have her picture...why I still write...b/c I used to only write for her...maybe she really did change me for the better...I mean I write more songs, better songs, and poetry constantly now. The relationship we shared was both special and brief...but I couldn't forget her if I tried...she opened my eyes...and I guess really made me a new person...I grew up...and so I still don't have any regrets...what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way...I guess I could call her my roadblock on the path to destruction...the detour that made me turn round...so it has been just another normal week a guess, a long and sometimes lonely one...but I will look at it the same as any other.
This is the chorus and bridge to one of my favorite songs I wrote enjoy!
And when I sit and think,
I miss my life that started with a kiss,
Swimmin round with you,
In a life I could drown in,
I still hear the sound of your voice,
In my head; my thoughts are dead,
My world upside down,
...I'm the Wounded Cassanova...
My heart and mind run through a maze,
I sit and stare in a daze,
Time by time I see her passin' by,
And I can't help but sigh,
As a part of me died,
And now I'm lost...
This is the chorus and bridge to one of my favorite songs I wrote enjoy!
And when I sit and think,
I miss my life that started with a kiss,
Swimmin round with you,
In a life I could drown in,
I still hear the sound of your voice,
In my head; my thoughts are dead,
My world upside down,
...I'm the Wounded Cassanova...
My heart and mind run through a maze,
I sit and stare in a daze,
Time by time I see her passin' by,
And I can't help but sigh,
As a part of me died,
And now I'm lost...