Nick: The Expanded and Uncut edition
i'm so fucking motherfucking pissed right now. I put on my favorite Foo Fighter's shirt on today and I just fucking realized something. (sorry for the language, I'm just really passionate about this), i've completely filled it out and I am like basically bursting out of it.
At the start of my freshman year of high school I weighed around 110-115...ish and it's now October of my Sophomore year and I weigh 120-130 pounds.........HOLY SHIT!!! I gained twenty pounds in a year! How fucking fat am I? I seriously though I recovered and everything from the bulimia and the anorexia but I guess I'm having some second thoughs. I know i'm not fat....and that's what's weird. I CAN'T STAND THAT I'M NOT SKINNY. I'm not FAT by any shake of the stick but I'm not skinny...some may argue that I am but I am seriously not AS skinny as I WAS. I want to be that skinny again. I think it is a much leaner, cleaner, and more meak look. Now I look like....well a jock.
HERE's my puberty list:
6th grade: growth spurt #1 + other things
7th grade: enhancement
8th grade: growth spurt #2 + enhancement + other things
9th grade: growth spurt # 3
10th grade: MAJOR growth spurt + other things
I really don't know if I can deal with this.
My shoulders have broadened.... my voice is deeper, i weigh 20 pounds more than I did in the last year....and i can't stop eating.
I'm so scared of becoming fat....please help.
4 day weekend so YAYZ for me. loves it.
i'm having the BIGGEST CRAVING OF MY LIFE for ruffles.......OMG!
help me withstand this.
the expanded edition of me,
NICK
xoxo
*a kiss a hug a caress a lovebite and a pat*