(no subject)
I'm really starting to believe that I don't like to be calm. I mean Irfan and I were getting along really good for a good few weeks and now I'm getting all odd again where I don't want to spent too much time with him. I don't want to fall back too Ryan even though i'm happy most there i can't handle him doing E. It really bothers me I mean drugs in general bother me I don't like them but I could handle the Weed and Coke. I can't handle him doidn everything else under the sun and i know he knows that it's like he's finding ways to push me away again. I'm so dumb because I'm always okay with him leaving then time passes and it starts bothering me. I don't really know what's going on I know that things are calming down around me maybe I just need some sort of drama in my life. I don't know anymore. I'm just trying to focus on the things that will make me feel that i won't be working at Dominion forever because right now that's the way it's beginning to look.