(no subject)

[beauty_x_cries]

So I kept getting woken up by the phone today.

The first time it rang i wanted to jump out of bed out of instinct because it's usually kerri who calls and wakes me up. but i knew it wouldnt be her so i went back to sleep.
then the phone did it again and i got tired of hearing it and it was lisa.
so i just kinda woke up and jumped online for the simple fact that i cant stand waking up and not checking my email to just see if kerri made an attempt to contact me.

today she did.
I got online and checked my email and she wrote me twice.
i expected this. The minute she was alone and she didnt have any of her old friends arond her, for some reason i knew that she was going to contact me.
she even called me.
and i'll call her back.
silly me.
im so stupid for her and im just not going to quit untill she drives me to the brink of complete insanity.

i dont know. i cant even begin to explain the things im going through right now. the confusion...all the thoughts. the wondering...you know all of that.
i dont know...i dont even know how to fucking feel any more. i hate it.