homeless
ive been up at michigan state for two weeks, and i came home for a short weekend expecting things to be exactly how they were when i left. i mean, i was only gone two weeks, but i feel like its been forever. i dont feel at home anymore when im here, and im not comfortable enough with msu to call that my home either. i felt.. homeless.. as if i were just finding places to crash for awhile. everything feels temporary, and i dont like it. i realize that this probably wont ever change. this isnt my home anymore.. michigan state is. but thats not my home either.. this is. sometimes i just hate life.
i havent been without a boyfriend in over a year.. not the same one of course, but ive always had some kind of significant other. its been two months since joe and i broke up, and i feel like im never going to have another boyfriend ever again. its almost as if no guys have even looked at me since ive been away at school. i feel ugly and gross and unwanted. i hate you joe.. i hate what you've done to me.
ive never been good at keeping up friendships, and im scared that im seriously not going to have any friends for the rest of my life. ive never been in a group like everyone else has. im just the floater with no best friend. britney is the closest i have to anything.. and im scared that with time, our friendship is going to fade because we got separated at college. i thought when i went away to school i was going to meet all these new people that would be my group.. and i havent found anybody. its always going to be just me.
maybe i worry too much..either that, or i dont care enough.
i havent been without a boyfriend in over a year.. not the same one of course, but ive always had some kind of significant other. its been two months since joe and i broke up, and i feel like im never going to have another boyfriend ever again. its almost as if no guys have even looked at me since ive been away at school. i feel ugly and gross and unwanted. i hate you joe.. i hate what you've done to me.
ive never been good at keeping up friendships, and im scared that im seriously not going to have any friends for the rest of my life. ive never been in a group like everyone else has. im just the floater with no best friend. britney is the closest i have to anything.. and im scared that with time, our friendship is going to fade because we got separated at college. i thought when i went away to school i was going to meet all these new people that would be my group.. and i havent found anybody. its always going to be just me.
maybe i worry too much..either that, or i dont care enough.