smite me o mighty smiter
ive come to realize something, im a bitter shrew. i tend to hate every thing and one. im not tolerant, i have no patience, im really iratable and irritating. wow, how wonderful. im a brat. great isnt it. what u hate is waht u are.
the last couple days have been hell. ive done nothing but pondered on my worthless existence and cry for things that will never happen or be solved. while i watch those around me look forward to graduation and college, i remain apathetic because it things continue like they are i wont be graduating. its like, every time there is someting to look forward to, it falls apart. i have nothing to look f forward to nor anything to feel good about. everyone is soon leaving and i , will remain here, in this basement working a shitty job in a town i fucking hate and hating myself for it. i sat in the shower it morning and wanted to just end it all. im just so fucking tired of all of this shit. im tired of everything. im tired of living. but every moment that i get a chance, i chicken out and just fall apart. like the last few nights ive been a basketcase. an annoying, blubering bufoon. but what else is new. and for once, my dad didnt yell at me for breaking down. but i let my guard down and cried in front of them. another goal smashed. i have no goals, no direction, no ambition, and no hope. population control here i come. i havent been this low before. im lost in the dark and theres no light anywhere. what have i done to piss karma off so much that i havent already had to pay for. what else do you want. go ahead and take it because i prolly dont deserve it anyway.
the last couple days have been hell. ive done nothing but pondered on my worthless existence and cry for things that will never happen or be solved. while i watch those around me look forward to graduation and college, i remain apathetic because it things continue like they are i wont be graduating. its like, every time there is someting to look forward to, it falls apart. i have nothing to look f forward to nor anything to feel good about. everyone is soon leaving and i , will remain here, in this basement working a shitty job in a town i fucking hate and hating myself for it. i sat in the shower it morning and wanted to just end it all. im just so fucking tired of all of this shit. im tired of everything. im tired of living. but every moment that i get a chance, i chicken out and just fall apart. like the last few nights ive been a basketcase. an annoying, blubering bufoon. but what else is new. and for once, my dad didnt yell at me for breaking down. but i let my guard down and cried in front of them. another goal smashed. i have no goals, no direction, no ambition, and no hope. population control here i come. i havent been this low before. im lost in the dark and theres no light anywhere. what have i done to piss karma off so much that i havent already had to pay for. what else do you want. go ahead and take it because i prolly dont deserve it anyway.