i'm upset so this may not even make sense...
here goes nothing.... try to stick with me. i have so much shit running through my head right now i'm not sure if trying to write this all out is even a good idea.
so kyle and i broke up the other day. it was thursday or friday i think.
it was bad new bears.
he said we fight too much and that we're too different...
he says i hate that he plays video games
(yeah when we're supposed to be hanging out... that doesn't really count as quality time in my book)
and i bitch when he goes out
(without telling me and i have to hear from other people that he was "so wasted" and he claims to have blacked out and not really remembered much of the night at all). <--- this is also what happened the night his friend "talked him into" fucking kagnie. he was too drunk to remember it and didn't know what was going on... but nick told him to, so he fucked her. so hell yeah i'm paranoid about that.
i don't feel that i'm out of line for being upset about these things. i honestly think that he's so out of practice with being a boyfriend that he doesn't realize that ALL girls would get upset about that kind of shit. I'M NOT CRAZY!!! he saw a few pictures from my night in athens (which he was invited to join but was playing WoW with nick so he didn't go) and thought i was too close to my friend brad. he got mad and just completely gave up on the thought of us ever working out. it was a fucking picture for christ's sake. you have to at least put your heads close together so you can both be in the shot. we weren't hanging on eachother or anything.
he said it was everything piled up at once, that he didn't want to break up with me but saw no other way.
i feel like he is giving up too easily. i know that relationships are work.... i don't think he's realized that. or maybe he just doesn't want to work at it. he swears he's trying, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.
so we broke up.... only to get back together about 4 hours later.
here's the clincher!!!!
in those four hours he managed to get some broads number and try to feel her out.... like asking if she was single and whatnot. i know this because i got an email from someone telling me (that a friend told a friend kinda shit... and he confirmed it.)
so while i'm up all night crying and throwing up.... because I LOVE HIM.... he's out trying to get chicks already.
WHAT THE FUCK!
he says that he's sorry. that i have nothing to worry about. but the thing is that her friend told him that the girl in mention "didn't want a relationship right now". so is that the only reason he got back together with me? because she turned him down?
i'm stressing out to the max. he says that i have the right to be mad.... HELL YEAH I DO. but that he's sorry and he didn't really mean anything by it.
what the hell does it mean when you get a girls number and ask if she's single? what does that mean that i'm obviously not seeing here? because in my book that means you're trying to date her.
i have the distinct feeling that he was asking this stuff before our fight and the thought of possibly having some girl "on deck" made him break up with me.
he claims that it was nothing like that at all. that his buddy nick told him that he should ask her out or something b/c she's friends with the chick he's fucking right now. ok, nick is really starting to get on my nerves with this shit. he was apparently the one who talked kyle into fucking kagnie right before we dated, he's always getting in the middle of our fights, he even called from kyle's phone and yelled at me one night instigating a fight, etc. and when i asked him today online about this krysta girl.... he claims to know nothing about it... he's lying. I FUCKING HATE LIARS. i hear him all the time telling kyle that i'm too much work, that i never let him have fun and that he should just break up with me. i could hear him the night kyle dumped me saying "just fuck her dude, dump her". and since kyle has known him for years and trusts him.... he follows orders.
well, nick has a shitty track record when it comes to girls. he fucks ones that still have boyfriends (and yes it does still count if their b/f is in the military and just out of town!!!) and shit, so he's not high on the moral ladder. not to mention they're all skanks and not up to my par anyways... they're not worth dating and he knows that. that's why he is out fucking a new one every other week. he has not had a single "healthy" relationship that i'm aware of.... so why is he the one to give out advice? i think he just misses have a fucking wing man for the bars and wants kyle to be single again.
i really want this to work. i really do. but i feel like it can't when he's not on-board with me. i feel like he keeps trying to shove me off the boat. and nick is behind him cheering him on!
i feel like there's so much more going through my head right now but i don't really know how to get it all out. i don't have the words.
i'm gonna go binge until i feel better.
so kyle and i broke up the other day. it was thursday or friday i think.
it was bad new bears.
he said we fight too much and that we're too different...
he says i hate that he plays video games
(yeah when we're supposed to be hanging out... that doesn't really count as quality time in my book)
and i bitch when he goes out
(without telling me and i have to hear from other people that he was "so wasted" and he claims to have blacked out and not really remembered much of the night at all). <--- this is also what happened the night his friend "talked him into" fucking kagnie. he was too drunk to remember it and didn't know what was going on... but nick told him to, so he fucked her. so hell yeah i'm paranoid about that.
i don't feel that i'm out of line for being upset about these things. i honestly think that he's so out of practice with being a boyfriend that he doesn't realize that ALL girls would get upset about that kind of shit. I'M NOT CRAZY!!! he saw a few pictures from my night in athens (which he was invited to join but was playing WoW with nick so he didn't go) and thought i was too close to my friend brad. he got mad and just completely gave up on the thought of us ever working out. it was a fucking picture for christ's sake. you have to at least put your heads close together so you can both be in the shot. we weren't hanging on eachother or anything.
he said it was everything piled up at once, that he didn't want to break up with me but saw no other way.
i feel like he is giving up too easily. i know that relationships are work.... i don't think he's realized that. or maybe he just doesn't want to work at it. he swears he's trying, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.
so we broke up.... only to get back together about 4 hours later.
here's the clincher!!!!
in those four hours he managed to get some broads number and try to feel her out.... like asking if she was single and whatnot. i know this because i got an email from someone telling me (that a friend told a friend kinda shit... and he confirmed it.)
so while i'm up all night crying and throwing up.... because I LOVE HIM.... he's out trying to get chicks already.
WHAT THE FUCK!
he says that he's sorry. that i have nothing to worry about. but the thing is that her friend told him that the girl in mention "didn't want a relationship right now". so is that the only reason he got back together with me? because she turned him down?
i'm stressing out to the max. he says that i have the right to be mad.... HELL YEAH I DO. but that he's sorry and he didn't really mean anything by it.
what the hell does it mean when you get a girls number and ask if she's single? what does that mean that i'm obviously not seeing here? because in my book that means you're trying to date her.
i have the distinct feeling that he was asking this stuff before our fight and the thought of possibly having some girl "on deck" made him break up with me.
he claims that it was nothing like that at all. that his buddy nick told him that he should ask her out or something b/c she's friends with the chick he's fucking right now. ok, nick is really starting to get on my nerves with this shit. he was apparently the one who talked kyle into fucking kagnie right before we dated, he's always getting in the middle of our fights, he even called from kyle's phone and yelled at me one night instigating a fight, etc. and when i asked him today online about this krysta girl.... he claims to know nothing about it... he's lying. I FUCKING HATE LIARS. i hear him all the time telling kyle that i'm too much work, that i never let him have fun and that he should just break up with me. i could hear him the night kyle dumped me saying "just fuck her dude, dump her". and since kyle has known him for years and trusts him.... he follows orders.
well, nick has a shitty track record when it comes to girls. he fucks ones that still have boyfriends (and yes it does still count if their b/f is in the military and just out of town!!!) and shit, so he's not high on the moral ladder. not to mention they're all skanks and not up to my par anyways... they're not worth dating and he knows that. that's why he is out fucking a new one every other week. he has not had a single "healthy" relationship that i'm aware of.... so why is he the one to give out advice? i think he just misses have a fucking wing man for the bars and wants kyle to be single again.
i really want this to work. i really do. but i feel like it can't when he's not on-board with me. i feel like he keeps trying to shove me off the boat. and nick is behind him cheering him on!
i feel like there's so much more going through my head right now but i don't really know how to get it all out. i don't have the words.
i'm gonna go binge until i feel better.