~Friday Night~
Again, Rowena quietly crept through the Manse, her tray in hand. She pushed the door open to Mae's room and entered, the puppy following close at her feet. She set down the tray and Brie jumped onto the bed, curling against Mae's feet and looking up at Rowena with her soulfull brown eyes. Rowena laughed softly and scritched Brie, dragging the chair close to the bed and reaching out to gently stroke Mae's hand. She spoke softly to him, pulling out the cup of icechips and gently resting them against his lips.
"So...Miracle asked me to marry her. It was kind of unexpected, but nice at the same time, you know? Its nice to feel needed and wanted by someone, without them expecting anything but you...I think thats really been the most frustrating part of my life. People say 'Ohhh...we want you' blah, blah...but they don't really give half a shit about ME, you know what I mean? Shes amazing...she and Jack are both so good to me. But then I get that little tick in the back of my head telling me that I will just screw it up again...that they aren't really going to want me, when they see how difficult and needy I am. Or that they will just leave me, like he did...
Its just...love and lust and emotion has caused so much heartbreak for me in the past. I don't want that again. I...don't want Jack to tell me that he can't touch me, because I'm dirty after spending the night with a Redcap...or Miracle to abandon me in the middle of the night without a word, because she can't deal with my issues. Stupid fears that I try not to let get to me, but fears nonetheless."
Rowena sighed, moving over to curl up on the bed, her knees to her chest, gently feeding him icechips and still speaking quietly.
"But I do love her, very much. And I want to be there. If anything ever happened to Jack...I don't even want to think about what she would do. So, I told her yes. We haven't talked about it much yet, but I'm excited about it. Well...more scared then anything, but...I'm happy. Well...as happy as anyone can be, now a days."
She told him about her birthday, her night with Frankie and the strip club. She told him about her children, how they miss seeing her everyday, and how she feels empty when she doesn't see their smiling faces.
"Oh! That reminds me...I told them that a very good friend of mine was sick...they made these for you..." She pulled out a pile of handmade get well cards, all addressed to 'Zach.' She smiled, reading them all to him, before setting them up on the window sill. "They are good kids. They know what its like being sick...and they are all thinking about you. They told me to go home so that I could take care of you, cause they didn't need me..." She laughed a little shaking her head, resting her chin on her knees.
"We'll go out and do something when you are feeling better. Not like a date, but just hanging out and doing something. Your too tense...ya, ya...its tense times, and we have to be serious...but what is the point of it all if we doing enjoy the lives we are living. So...we'll go do something, when your feeling up to it. Maybe go out for a hike, or out to the zoo or something..."
She talked long into the night, moistening his lips with the icechips and just sitting with him, talking and laughing, keeping him company.