So-Called "Childishness"
If we weren't expected by society to "grow up", would we? If our parents never said "You can't bring your teddy bear, you're a big girl/boy now," would we have ever let go of them? If our classmates never made fun of our imaginary friends, would we ever have said good bye?
I don't think we'll ever really know, but I think that, had everyone not forced us to give up everything of our childhood, a lot of people would have more child in them. And maybe that would have been a good thing.
It's hard to hold onto childhood when everything around you is pushing you to give up. And I know how hard it is to comfort yourself with "silly" things when that's all people will call them.
Talking to yourself. You say to someone that you do so, and they look at you with the words "Are you crazy?" in their eyes. Yet, we do it. Every one of us. We talk to ourselves when we need comfort, we talk to ourselves when we've lost something. We talk to ourselves a lot. But once someone admits it, we conveniently forget all the times we've talked to our own selves, and criticize them. You're not supposed to talk to yourself. You're not supposed to figure things out by yourself (and that's what it means to some of us, when you say such things. That we aren't allowed to weigh the options in our heads, but out loud to make them real. We can't rely on ourselves to fix stuff. That's a load of bull.) Why can't we talk to ourselves? Why can't we take the thoughts cluttering our brains, filling it to the brim and not allowing us to sort it out, and bring it into the outside world? Give it some meaning, some solidity? If it helps, why should we have to put up with being criticized? Others do it while studying for a test, so why can't we do it when we're trying to figure out a problem of our own?
Fantasy. It's a natural way humans protect themselves. They make up imaginary worlds, people, circumstances. They draw into themselves and it helps. They imagine they are kings or queens. They imagine dancing with the love of their life (whom may not be real, but so what?). It's these little day dreams, little fantasies, that can keep us from falling apart. They keep us from crying our hearts out, from doing something stupid and risking our lives. Because there's somewhere else to go that isn't affected by the outside world. Where you can be who you want to be, you can do what you want to do, and you can't get hurt like you can in the real world. But you tell anyone that, and they can't understand. You shouldn't live in fantasies, they say. You're not a child anymore. Sure, you shouldn't live in them all the time, but who doesn't wish for an escape once in a while? Who doesn't wish for a nice bedtime story that you can make up yourself, just so you can go to sleep, instead of staying up crying all night? When you're on the verge of breaking into a billion pieces, who has the right to say that you're wrong in creating a whole new world if it keeps you together?
No one. Not one person.
What have you given up for a little less criticism from society? What have you made someone else give up? What have you kept despite everyone going against you? And has a friend ever criticized you for what helps you sleep at night?
Evidently, I have experience in all four of those questions.
*Beatrix
I don't think we'll ever really know, but I think that, had everyone not forced us to give up everything of our childhood, a lot of people would have more child in them. And maybe that would have been a good thing.
It's hard to hold onto childhood when everything around you is pushing you to give up. And I know how hard it is to comfort yourself with "silly" things when that's all people will call them.
Talking to yourself. You say to someone that you do so, and they look at you with the words "Are you crazy?" in their eyes. Yet, we do it. Every one of us. We talk to ourselves when we need comfort, we talk to ourselves when we've lost something. We talk to ourselves a lot. But once someone admits it, we conveniently forget all the times we've talked to our own selves, and criticize them. You're not supposed to talk to yourself. You're not supposed to figure things out by yourself (and that's what it means to some of us, when you say such things. That we aren't allowed to weigh the options in our heads, but out loud to make them real. We can't rely on ourselves to fix stuff. That's a load of bull.) Why can't we talk to ourselves? Why can't we take the thoughts cluttering our brains, filling it to the brim and not allowing us to sort it out, and bring it into the outside world? Give it some meaning, some solidity? If it helps, why should we have to put up with being criticized? Others do it while studying for a test, so why can't we do it when we're trying to figure out a problem of our own?
Fantasy. It's a natural way humans protect themselves. They make up imaginary worlds, people, circumstances. They draw into themselves and it helps. They imagine they are kings or queens. They imagine dancing with the love of their life (whom may not be real, but so what?). It's these little day dreams, little fantasies, that can keep us from falling apart. They keep us from crying our hearts out, from doing something stupid and risking our lives. Because there's somewhere else to go that isn't affected by the outside world. Where you can be who you want to be, you can do what you want to do, and you can't get hurt like you can in the real world. But you tell anyone that, and they can't understand. You shouldn't live in fantasies, they say. You're not a child anymore. Sure, you shouldn't live in them all the time, but who doesn't wish for an escape once in a while? Who doesn't wish for a nice bedtime story that you can make up yourself, just so you can go to sleep, instead of staying up crying all night? When you're on the verge of breaking into a billion pieces, who has the right to say that you're wrong in creating a whole new world if it keeps you together?
No one. Not one person.
What have you given up for a little less criticism from society? What have you made someone else give up? What have you kept despite everyone going against you? And has a friend ever criticized you for what helps you sleep at night?
Evidently, I have experience in all four of those questions.
*Beatrix