quitting.
so. the last of the pack of have is the last i will smoke.
i realized that i started smoking again was to cope with my anxiety, the stress of moving out on my own, having a baby that had a hard time adjusting and sleeping at my new place, and the whole scary world was mine and mine only to make or break. i don't feel those emotions anymore.
the reasons why i started don't exist for me, i can cope in healthy ways, i'm settled in my life, sophie is doing great, and i've found i can find a way to make really tough situations work for my life.
so really all that is left is my addiction.
other then that i don't like it, i feel like crap, smell like crap, and i don't want to look like crap when i'm old!
YES, i am going to miss it. a lot.
when i'm drinking. after eating. when i'm feeling uncomfortable. on every break at work. and when tyler gets back it will add an entirely new and different challenge to this since i don't see him being in a place to want to quit anytime soon (but hey! you never know!). but i'm ready for it.
and most of all, sophie doesn't need to pick up on that. honestly, i don't feel good being a mom and smoking. so! they gotta go!
i realized that i started smoking again was to cope with my anxiety, the stress of moving out on my own, having a baby that had a hard time adjusting and sleeping at my new place, and the whole scary world was mine and mine only to make or break. i don't feel those emotions anymore.
the reasons why i started don't exist for me, i can cope in healthy ways, i'm settled in my life, sophie is doing great, and i've found i can find a way to make really tough situations work for my life.
so really all that is left is my addiction.
other then that i don't like it, i feel like crap, smell like crap, and i don't want to look like crap when i'm old!
YES, i am going to miss it. a lot.
when i'm drinking. after eating. when i'm feeling uncomfortable. on every break at work. and when tyler gets back it will add an entirely new and different challenge to this since i don't see him being in a place to want to quit anytime soon (but hey! you never know!). but i'm ready for it.
and most of all, sophie doesn't need to pick up on that. honestly, i don't feel good being a mom and smoking. so! they gotta go!