A year that is 2006
Ok so I guess it's time to do some of this stuff. I'm not sure how long this will be, will depend how assed I can be to do it.
This year was actually a pretty good one for me, I can't exactly complain about 90% of it. Its just the last two or so weeks that have kicked me up the rear. That's right, the time when you're supposed to be happy and christ and god (or whoever and whatever) are meant to be with you and on your side, they tend to forget about me. However they had the nerve to give me hopes and make every little thing seem perfect and like things were goign to work out for a change, only to hit me and beat me down. But hey we all get over these things eventually right?
What did this year bring for me. Oh.. I learnt what obsession is :p. February gave me Franz Ferdinand. For those of you who don't know or don't remember, heres the story lol. I decided at the last minute to go to the Big Day Out in February (for all you overseas readers, big music festival), and I didn't have any money as I didn't have a job at the time. But I decided to go because The White Stripes were playing. Also Franz Ferdinand were in the line up, and I thought I wouldn't mind seeing them since they look kind of cool in the film clips. Lets just say.. I don't really remeber The White Stripes performance, but I remeber Franz hehe. There was just something about that Alex strutting around on stage and draping himself over the mic stand and singing to each and everyone of us that was great. Also they trashed the stage :p Don't know why, and I haven't seen them do it in any other gigs I've seen in clips of them.. so go Adelaide!
However, Franz were in the signing tent we have here, but this was before I saw them. I decided if I didn't go have dinner I wasn't going to get it cause I wanted to get my spot for Franz and white Stripes, so I didn't bother lineing up and went to eat instead. Lesson for the day? FUCK FOOD! ALEX WAS IN THE GODDAMN TENT AND I DIDN'T GET TO MEET THE LOVER OF MY DREAMS! hehe. But I didn't know he was the man for me until after he was in the tent.
So yeah since then I have become obsessed. :D and I'm not that ashamed to admit it.
What else did this year do.. Oh it gave me a full time job. I can't really complain about it, it's money and the people I work with aren't that bad, just some of them are extremely annoying and compromise the work I try to do. I've been there since.. July officially.. but I started in about.. Mayish I think as a temp. It was pretty fast how it all happened, right place at the right time I guess.
Venues of the year: The Cavern Club (hard working glassie who gives good hugs :p and seems to be fairly cool as a person.), Supermild (I don't think they have a glassie, if they do they don't get my glass), Bull and Bear (The glassie there seems cool and works well, and gets my glasses :p), Shotz (crap glassie who gets everyones glasses other then mine).. thats the venues I've been to. Oh I've also been to ah.. The Slug and Lettuce (can't remeber the glassie there, other then me taking it to the bar and breaking the stupid glass and I was sober). Something's telling me I take note of glassies lol. If I had to judge the glassies from my list, The Cavern Glassie would have to win, and the close second would be the Bull and Bear Glassie. I probably take note of these lads cause they actually come and say Hi to you and they are always around to get a glass. I remeber the first time I was in the Bull and Bear (this glassie was before the cavern glassie)and The Bull and Bear Glassie would come in every 5 minutes to check if there were any glasses. My friend and I were in this other room bit, but he kept checking and asking how the night was going, and he had a smile. He was the first glassie I took note of. And then the Cavern got the Glassie they have now, and he's friendlier then the Bull and Bear Glassie (mainly because I go to the cavern more probably :p) and if he doesn't have a smile, I force him to :p. Oh and Cavern Glassie wins because he gives hugs, and good hugs! Well to me anyway :p But he is a hard worker, so hopefully nothing comes between him and his job (unless he wants it to).
Wow a whole big spill on Glassies :p Sorry about that lol, but they are important!
Hmm..what else.. Well I have managed to build myself up more from my massive fall in 2005. However at the moment I'm a bit lower then I have been, but things change. As I mentioned before, someone somewhere up in the sky or whatever likes to get my hopes up completely and then smash them right in the time where its meant to be happy time. I wished happiness for alot of friends and even random people (like people I see at the bus stop etc).. and they all got happiness.. and I got a kick in the teeth. That's the thanks I get for wishing well for people.
I got to believing in signs and things, only to have every sign be good, every tiny little thing leading up to this one perfect time, all the signs were great... then nothing eventuated, and if that wasn't bad enough, someone else stole my limelight that doesn't deserve it.
I've always heard the saying that the head and the heart are two different emotions, but never really felt it. Well at the moment I'm feeling it. And my insides wont listen to my head, and its really really really annoying me, because why should I get hopes up to just be hurt again? Hopes are only good for being hurt. People say follow your heart, but why should I follow my heart when it's going to cause me being hurt? Why should I follow my heart that likes to break itself, and it is only paper at the moment? Why set myself up to be fucking crushed again?
So the year has treated me fairly good, I just hate the way its treating me at the end, and the bgeinning of a new year. And i can't change it. I could change my view of it, but it would only be a phony feeling. No Regrets, No Phonyness.. good motto.
Ok last but not least of the year, lets finish the entry on a good note. Music! Sure I mentioned Franz before. My most fave song of there is one called "Do You Want To".. it's another good motto to live by (so long as u pick the right person hehe).. but I haven't lived it this year yet.. however the year is still here.. lol. But I know the person/people I want to sing it to wont respond the way I want them to, so no use useing it.
Recently I've found Robbie Williams. Sure I've always had a soft spot for him, and I decided to go to his concert (at the last minute. I'm great with last minute decisions hehe). And I'm really glad I did. Since then I listen to Robbie's Lyrics more.. he really does sing to me, he knows my pain and struggles. The songs he sings/wrote are what I want to write and get out of me, and try to but it doesn't always work. The songs at the moment I like I will post the lyrics to here. I want you to read them. Don't think of them as Robbie Williams, just think of them as words on a page.
The first Song will be:
Something Beautiful: This song is MY song, he (or whoever) wrote it for me. Sure everyone feels that way, but it is MY song hehe. Infact every time I hear it or read the lyrics I feel something else ring true in it, like right now this line "In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn't wait".. its meaning something to me at the moment, cause I'm not prepaired to give up on this one thing at the moment and I will try to wait.
"Something Beautiful"
You can't manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful that day.
A love is getting too cynical
Passion's just physical these days
You analyze everyone you meet
But get no sign, love ain't kind
every night you admit defeat
and cry yourself blind
[Chorus]
If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way
The DJ said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn't wait
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no, no, no
Forgot the time feeling petrified, when they lived alone
[Repeat chorus]
Some kind of beautiful (will come your way)
[x4]
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no no no
Forgot the time feeling petrified
When they lived alone
[Repeat chorus]
Feel: I used to like this song when it came out, and some of the lyrics rang a bit true to me. But at the moment they are really ringing true, especially the "I sit and talk to god, and he just laughs at my plans, My head speaks a language, I don't understand" oh and the "Not sure I understand, the road I've been given". Also "I don't wanna die, but I aint keen on living either", yeah I like that alot. Anyway here are the lyrics.
"Feel"
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her
Scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel
Real love and the love ever after
I can not get enough
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste
I just wanna feel
Real love and the love ever after
There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Come Undone: Ok this song isn't totally me, cause he probably wrote it about drugs (well one line is obvious about that lol) and alcoholism and stuff.. but there are quite a few lines I feel really deeply. Sure i'm not scum and I'm not a son :p. "So unimpressed, but so in awe" is actually me at the moment abuot someone. "I'm contemplating, thinkin' about thinkin'
It's overrated, just get another drink and Watch me come undone" - I love this line a real lot, and once again is me at the moment. When thinking about thinking gets too hard and you just have to block your mind, grab another drink. I'm not an alcoholic though lol I wont let myself get to that. "So need your love, so FUCK you all" - yeah another feeling of mine at the moment. Something I'm trying to live by the whole "I'm going to have fun despite the way I feel, sure I need/want your love but FUCK you" lol. "I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to" yeah I like that too.
"Come Undone"
So unimpressed, but so in awe
Such a saint, but such a whore
So self-aware, so full of shit
So indecisive, so adamant
I'm contemplating, thinkin' about thinkin'
It's overrated, just get another drink and
Watch me come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
If I ever hurt you, your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son
I come undone
I come undone
So rock 'n' roll, so corporate suit
So damn ugly, so damn cute
So well-trained, so animal
So need your love, so fuck you all
I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to
If I stop lying, I'll just disappoint you
Come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
Come undone
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
Come undone
If I ever hurt you, your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son
I come undone
So write another ballad, mix it on a Wednesday
Sell it on a Thursday buy a yacht on Saturday
It's a love song, a love song
Do another interview, sing a bunch of lies
Tell about celebrities that I despise
And sing love songs, we sing love songs so sincere
So sincere
Come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
Come undone
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
Come undone
The young pretend you're in the clouds above the sea
I come undone
I am scum
Love your son
You've gotta love your son
Come undone
You've gotta love you son
Come undone
Love your son
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
Tripping: I liek the chorus in this song especially "Why do you tink we should suffer in silence. I've taken as much as I'm willing ot take, My heart is broken theres nothing left to break".. I also like the first versey bit.
"Tripping"
First they ignore you
Then laugh at you and hate you
Then they fight you
Then you win
When the truth dies very bad things happen
They're being heartless again
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you think we should suffer in silence?
When a heart is broken there's nothing to break
You've been mixing with some very heavy faces
The boys have done a bit of bird
They don't kill their own
And they all love their mothers
But you're out of your depth son have a word
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you think we should suffer in silence?
The heart is broken there's nothing to break
All is wonderful in past lives
Dreaming of the sun she warms,
You should see me in the afterlife
Picking up the sons of dust
When you think we're lost we're exploring
What you think is worthless
I'm adoring
You don't want the truth the truth is boring
I've got this fever, need to
Leave the house
Leave the car
Leave the bad men where they are
I leave a few shells in my gun
N' stop me staring at the sun....
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you say we should suffer in silence?
My heart is broken there's nothing to break
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you think we should suffer in silence?
A heart is broken there's nothing to break
Ok I think that will do Hehe.
Well I hope you all have a good New Years Eve, and I hope the Year is kind to you next year. Don't forget me in your prayers! hehe :p
This year was actually a pretty good one for me, I can't exactly complain about 90% of it. Its just the last two or so weeks that have kicked me up the rear. That's right, the time when you're supposed to be happy and christ and god (or whoever and whatever) are meant to be with you and on your side, they tend to forget about me. However they had the nerve to give me hopes and make every little thing seem perfect and like things were goign to work out for a change, only to hit me and beat me down. But hey we all get over these things eventually right?
What did this year bring for me. Oh.. I learnt what obsession is :p. February gave me Franz Ferdinand. For those of you who don't know or don't remember, heres the story lol. I decided at the last minute to go to the Big Day Out in February (for all you overseas readers, big music festival), and I didn't have any money as I didn't have a job at the time. But I decided to go because The White Stripes were playing. Also Franz Ferdinand were in the line up, and I thought I wouldn't mind seeing them since they look kind of cool in the film clips. Lets just say.. I don't really remeber The White Stripes performance, but I remeber Franz hehe. There was just something about that Alex strutting around on stage and draping himself over the mic stand and singing to each and everyone of us that was great. Also they trashed the stage :p Don't know why, and I haven't seen them do it in any other gigs I've seen in clips of them.. so go Adelaide!
However, Franz were in the signing tent we have here, but this was before I saw them. I decided if I didn't go have dinner I wasn't going to get it cause I wanted to get my spot for Franz and white Stripes, so I didn't bother lineing up and went to eat instead. Lesson for the day? FUCK FOOD! ALEX WAS IN THE GODDAMN TENT AND I DIDN'T GET TO MEET THE LOVER OF MY DREAMS! hehe. But I didn't know he was the man for me until after he was in the tent.
So yeah since then I have become obsessed. :D and I'm not that ashamed to admit it.
What else did this year do.. Oh it gave me a full time job. I can't really complain about it, it's money and the people I work with aren't that bad, just some of them are extremely annoying and compromise the work I try to do. I've been there since.. July officially.. but I started in about.. Mayish I think as a temp. It was pretty fast how it all happened, right place at the right time I guess.
Venues of the year: The Cavern Club (hard working glassie who gives good hugs :p and seems to be fairly cool as a person.), Supermild (I don't think they have a glassie, if they do they don't get my glass), Bull and Bear (The glassie there seems cool and works well, and gets my glasses :p), Shotz (crap glassie who gets everyones glasses other then mine).. thats the venues I've been to. Oh I've also been to ah.. The Slug and Lettuce (can't remeber the glassie there, other then me taking it to the bar and breaking the stupid glass and I was sober). Something's telling me I take note of glassies lol. If I had to judge the glassies from my list, The Cavern Glassie would have to win, and the close second would be the Bull and Bear Glassie. I probably take note of these lads cause they actually come and say Hi to you and they are always around to get a glass. I remeber the first time I was in the Bull and Bear (this glassie was before the cavern glassie)and The Bull and Bear Glassie would come in every 5 minutes to check if there were any glasses. My friend and I were in this other room bit, but he kept checking and asking how the night was going, and he had a smile. He was the first glassie I took note of. And then the Cavern got the Glassie they have now, and he's friendlier then the Bull and Bear Glassie (mainly because I go to the cavern more probably :p) and if he doesn't have a smile, I force him to :p. Oh and Cavern Glassie wins because he gives hugs, and good hugs! Well to me anyway :p But he is a hard worker, so hopefully nothing comes between him and his job (unless he wants it to).
Wow a whole big spill on Glassies :p Sorry about that lol, but they are important!
Hmm..what else.. Well I have managed to build myself up more from my massive fall in 2005. However at the moment I'm a bit lower then I have been, but things change. As I mentioned before, someone somewhere up in the sky or whatever likes to get my hopes up completely and then smash them right in the time where its meant to be happy time. I wished happiness for alot of friends and even random people (like people I see at the bus stop etc).. and they all got happiness.. and I got a kick in the teeth. That's the thanks I get for wishing well for people.
I got to believing in signs and things, only to have every sign be good, every tiny little thing leading up to this one perfect time, all the signs were great... then nothing eventuated, and if that wasn't bad enough, someone else stole my limelight that doesn't deserve it.
I've always heard the saying that the head and the heart are two different emotions, but never really felt it. Well at the moment I'm feeling it. And my insides wont listen to my head, and its really really really annoying me, because why should I get hopes up to just be hurt again? Hopes are only good for being hurt. People say follow your heart, but why should I follow my heart when it's going to cause me being hurt? Why should I follow my heart that likes to break itself, and it is only paper at the moment? Why set myself up to be fucking crushed again?
So the year has treated me fairly good, I just hate the way its treating me at the end, and the bgeinning of a new year. And i can't change it. I could change my view of it, but it would only be a phony feeling. No Regrets, No Phonyness.. good motto.
Ok last but not least of the year, lets finish the entry on a good note. Music! Sure I mentioned Franz before. My most fave song of there is one called "Do You Want To".. it's another good motto to live by (so long as u pick the right person hehe).. but I haven't lived it this year yet.. however the year is still here.. lol. But I know the person/people I want to sing it to wont respond the way I want them to, so no use useing it.
Recently I've found Robbie Williams. Sure I've always had a soft spot for him, and I decided to go to his concert (at the last minute. I'm great with last minute decisions hehe). And I'm really glad I did. Since then I listen to Robbie's Lyrics more.. he really does sing to me, he knows my pain and struggles. The songs he sings/wrote are what I want to write and get out of me, and try to but it doesn't always work. The songs at the moment I like I will post the lyrics to here. I want you to read them. Don't think of them as Robbie Williams, just think of them as words on a page.
The first Song will be:
Something Beautiful: This song is MY song, he (or whoever) wrote it for me. Sure everyone feels that way, but it is MY song hehe. Infact every time I hear it or read the lyrics I feel something else ring true in it, like right now this line "In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn't wait".. its meaning something to me at the moment, cause I'm not prepaired to give up on this one thing at the moment and I will try to wait.
"Something Beautiful"
You can't manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful that day.
A love is getting too cynical
Passion's just physical these days
You analyze everyone you meet
But get no sign, love ain't kind
every night you admit defeat
and cry yourself blind
[Chorus]
If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way
The DJ said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn't wait
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no, no, no
Forgot the time feeling petrified, when they lived alone
[Repeat chorus]
Some kind of beautiful (will come your way)
[x4]
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no no no
Forgot the time feeling petrified
When they lived alone
[Repeat chorus]
Feel: I used to like this song when it came out, and some of the lyrics rang a bit true to me. But at the moment they are really ringing true, especially the "I sit and talk to god, and he just laughs at my plans, My head speaks a language, I don't understand" oh and the "Not sure I understand, the road I've been given". Also "I don't wanna die, but I aint keen on living either", yeah I like that alot. Anyway here are the lyrics.
"Feel"
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her
Scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel
Real love and the love ever after
I can not get enough
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste
I just wanna feel
Real love and the love ever after
There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Come Undone: Ok this song isn't totally me, cause he probably wrote it about drugs (well one line is obvious about that lol) and alcoholism and stuff.. but there are quite a few lines I feel really deeply. Sure i'm not scum and I'm not a son :p. "So unimpressed, but so in awe" is actually me at the moment abuot someone. "I'm contemplating, thinkin' about thinkin'
It's overrated, just get another drink and Watch me come undone" - I love this line a real lot, and once again is me at the moment. When thinking about thinking gets too hard and you just have to block your mind, grab another drink. I'm not an alcoholic though lol I wont let myself get to that. "So need your love, so FUCK you all" - yeah another feeling of mine at the moment. Something I'm trying to live by the whole "I'm going to have fun despite the way I feel, sure I need/want your love but FUCK you" lol. "I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to" yeah I like that too.
"Come Undone"
So unimpressed, but so in awe
Such a saint, but such a whore
So self-aware, so full of shit
So indecisive, so adamant
I'm contemplating, thinkin' about thinkin'
It's overrated, just get another drink and
Watch me come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
If I ever hurt you, your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son
I come undone
I come undone
So rock 'n' roll, so corporate suit
So damn ugly, so damn cute
So well-trained, so animal
So need your love, so fuck you all
I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to
If I stop lying, I'll just disappoint you
Come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
Come undone
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
Come undone
If I ever hurt you, your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son
I come undone
So write another ballad, mix it on a Wednesday
Sell it on a Thursday buy a yacht on Saturday
It's a love song, a love song
Do another interview, sing a bunch of lies
Tell about celebrities that I despise
And sing love songs, we sing love songs so sincere
So sincere
Come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
Come undone
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
Come undone
The young pretend you're in the clouds above the sea
I come undone
I am scum
Love your son
You've gotta love your son
Come undone
You've gotta love you son
Come undone
Love your son
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
Tripping: I liek the chorus in this song especially "Why do you tink we should suffer in silence. I've taken as much as I'm willing ot take, My heart is broken theres nothing left to break".. I also like the first versey bit.
"Tripping"
First they ignore you
Then laugh at you and hate you
Then they fight you
Then you win
When the truth dies very bad things happen
They're being heartless again
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you think we should suffer in silence?
When a heart is broken there's nothing to break
You've been mixing with some very heavy faces
The boys have done a bit of bird
They don't kill their own
And they all love their mothers
But you're out of your depth son have a word
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you think we should suffer in silence?
The heart is broken there's nothing to break
All is wonderful in past lives
Dreaming of the sun she warms,
You should see me in the afterlife
Picking up the sons of dust
When you think we're lost we're exploring
What you think is worthless
I'm adoring
You don't want the truth the truth is boring
I've got this fever, need to
Leave the house
Leave the car
Leave the bad men where they are
I leave a few shells in my gun
N' stop me staring at the sun....
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you say we should suffer in silence?
My heart is broken there's nothing to break
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you think we should suffer in silence?
A heart is broken there's nothing to break
Ok I think that will do Hehe.
Well I hope you all have a good New Years Eve, and I hope the Year is kind to you next year. Don't forget me in your prayers! hehe :p