school didn't teach me how to spell.
do lawyers ever get called for jury duty? -just a thought i had in Emma's shower.
so, i'm half listening to the bob dylan show in the back ground. and i'm hearing all this poetry, and i have all these other songs and poems running rampid through my head. which led me to this conclusion: school stifles everything. absolutley everything. i used to sort of like it, and at least i liked the people. but now, every fucking this is the same. and every fucking one isn't looking too different. when i'm there, i just want to get out. i've never been in a school this long before. the longest was three years. and then i come here, and this is my 6th fucking year. does anyone realize how fucked up that is? when i'm a senior, i will be legally wed to fucking masterman. i think thats how long a relationship has to be before you count as being pretty much married. when i'm a senior, i'll be 18. i would have been in the same place for eight whole years. that's only ten years i was liberated. and even that isn't true. after first grade, school became a chore. when i'm a senior, that will be twelve years of boredom. can you even imagine hating somethin for twelve years?
i am betrothed (or is it betroved? school hasn't taught me that) to weekends. and to music, and to rhyme schemes. i am indeted to chanticleer garden, to Emma, and Petra, and color me mine. i belong to Bob Dylan, the Beatles, REM. I do not belong to the roach curled up in the back of room 15. i have no attachments to the stick and the grime on the bannisters. the warm water led after gym class doesn't move me, and it never made me cry.
Paul McCartney made me cry. going to that concert was one of the most amazing things i've ever done. i was shaking, when i got in. when he came on stage, and played Sgt. Peper, and was living and breathing, i just, it was amazing. i couldn't believe that i was in the same room with a man who changed a nation. a person who was in one of the greatest bands of all time. someone so funny, so poinangt, and so perfectly sad. it was laughing, and shaking, and crying. i felt like one of the girls in the sixties. he was incredible. it was the happiest ive ever felt. it was like, all the happiness ever, was contained in me. and i couldn't handle it. i love him so much. i love music so much. and i hate that i'm not even good at it. and i hate that i have to spend six hours a day, at some place i hate, when instead i could learn how to play like him. and i could learn how to write music, and i could spend all day in a record booth. listening to music that literally change the world. if people learned how to live. if they moved to new york, if they studied beat poetry, if they listened to music. if they listened so that they could actually hear it. if they spent days painting. just painting on a canvas 12 times bigger than they were. if they painted instead of ate, instead of drank, instead of breathing. if for days they lived off of anf for this canvas, if for days they could paint something bigger than themselves, bigger than the world. if just once, everyone gorged themselves on everything, and then thrw it all up with one word, if for a day they said nothing but yes, and the next day sai nothing but fuck. if people just all dropped out, and learned how to drive, and learned how to build, and how to read, and how to work metal, and stories, and glass. if people taught each ther exactly what they knew, and nothing more, and if they did it without being superior to themselves, there wouldn't be war. and there wouldn't be pain, and there wouldn't be people starving. because people would all understand each other, and they would all speak exactly the same. they would speak nothing at all. and things would be so masterfully beautiful, i wouldn't be able to stand it.
i have to go now. i have to pee.
so, i'm half listening to the bob dylan show in the back ground. and i'm hearing all this poetry, and i have all these other songs and poems running rampid through my head. which led me to this conclusion: school stifles everything. absolutley everything. i used to sort of like it, and at least i liked the people. but now, every fucking this is the same. and every fucking one isn't looking too different. when i'm there, i just want to get out. i've never been in a school this long before. the longest was three years. and then i come here, and this is my 6th fucking year. does anyone realize how fucked up that is? when i'm a senior, i will be legally wed to fucking masterman. i think thats how long a relationship has to be before you count as being pretty much married. when i'm a senior, i'll be 18. i would have been in the same place for eight whole years. that's only ten years i was liberated. and even that isn't true. after first grade, school became a chore. when i'm a senior, that will be twelve years of boredom. can you even imagine hating somethin for twelve years?
i am betrothed (or is it betroved? school hasn't taught me that) to weekends. and to music, and to rhyme schemes. i am indeted to chanticleer garden, to Emma, and Petra, and color me mine. i belong to Bob Dylan, the Beatles, REM. I do not belong to the roach curled up in the back of room 15. i have no attachments to the stick and the grime on the bannisters. the warm water led after gym class doesn't move me, and it never made me cry.
Paul McCartney made me cry. going to that concert was one of the most amazing things i've ever done. i was shaking, when i got in. when he came on stage, and played Sgt. Peper, and was living and breathing, i just, it was amazing. i couldn't believe that i was in the same room with a man who changed a nation. a person who was in one of the greatest bands of all time. someone so funny, so poinangt, and so perfectly sad. it was laughing, and shaking, and crying. i felt like one of the girls in the sixties. he was incredible. it was the happiest ive ever felt. it was like, all the happiness ever, was contained in me. and i couldn't handle it. i love him so much. i love music so much. and i hate that i'm not even good at it. and i hate that i have to spend six hours a day, at some place i hate, when instead i could learn how to play like him. and i could learn how to write music, and i could spend all day in a record booth. listening to music that literally change the world. if people learned how to live. if they moved to new york, if they studied beat poetry, if they listened to music. if they listened so that they could actually hear it. if they spent days painting. just painting on a canvas 12 times bigger than they were. if they painted instead of ate, instead of drank, instead of breathing. if for days they lived off of anf for this canvas, if for days they could paint something bigger than themselves, bigger than the world. if just once, everyone gorged themselves on everything, and then thrw it all up with one word, if for a day they said nothing but yes, and the next day sai nothing but fuck. if people just all dropped out, and learned how to drive, and learned how to build, and how to read, and how to work metal, and stories, and glass. if people taught each ther exactly what they knew, and nothing more, and if they did it without being superior to themselves, there wouldn't be war. and there wouldn't be pain, and there wouldn't be people starving. because people would all understand each other, and they would all speak exactly the same. they would speak nothing at all. and things would be so masterfully beautiful, i wouldn't be able to stand it.
i have to go now. i have to pee.