Coming Soon: Jerky The Robot (maybe)
How to setup a Christmas tree
Wow. It’s that time of the year again, and boy is it nerve racking. Buying gifts, wrapping gifts, working your way through the throng of holiday shoppers in the mall…it sometimes seems too much. What do you do when you feel like the pre-Christmas savings will explode your brain?
Set up the Christmas tree of course. Not for fun or anything….but just because someone said to.
There are a few different ways you could go about this. You could always buy one from a lot, but that’s boring. I suggest cutting your own. Preferably one from the Adirondacks.
Of course, you could avoid the physical labor and possible felony by buying a plastic tree. It doesn’t leave behind any of those little needles and it’s also about a hundred times easier to water. And guess what else? That’s right…YOU CAN LEAVE IT UP YEAR ROUND! You really only have to set it up once…
The plastic tree usually comes with color-coded parts to make the process of piecing it together a little less tedious. Unless you’re color-blind…then it’s not even worth it. Why are you building a tree anyway, you color-blinded freak? You should probably be crying your defunct eyes out.
If trees of the colored variety are a little too much work for you, then cutting your own is definitely out of the question. You could always build your tree out of toothpicks and a Christmas tree…but I guess that wouldn’t really be building it.
If none of these methods suit you, you could always convert to Judaism. All you have to do is light a candle every night for eight days. If that’s not work management, I don’t know what is.
I probably don’t know what is....
Adopting a child from a poorer country to do it for you is also a way to go. It’s worth it once you get them in the country, but it takes a while. If you get one in time for Christmas, it can make a great present!
So, these are some of the ways you can set up a Christmas tree. Yeah, reading this probably wasted your time, but what can you do? Nothing, that’s what. Screw Flanders screw Flanders screw Flanders screw Flanders.
Wow. It’s that time of the year again, and boy is it nerve racking. Buying gifts, wrapping gifts, working your way through the throng of holiday shoppers in the mall…it sometimes seems too much. What do you do when you feel like the pre-Christmas savings will explode your brain?
Set up the Christmas tree of course. Not for fun or anything….but just because someone said to.
There are a few different ways you could go about this. You could always buy one from a lot, but that’s boring. I suggest cutting your own. Preferably one from the Adirondacks.
Of course, you could avoid the physical labor and possible felony by buying a plastic tree. It doesn’t leave behind any of those little needles and it’s also about a hundred times easier to water. And guess what else? That’s right…YOU CAN LEAVE IT UP YEAR ROUND! You really only have to set it up once…
The plastic tree usually comes with color-coded parts to make the process of piecing it together a little less tedious. Unless you’re color-blind…then it’s not even worth it. Why are you building a tree anyway, you color-blinded freak? You should probably be crying your defunct eyes out.
If trees of the colored variety are a little too much work for you, then cutting your own is definitely out of the question. You could always build your tree out of toothpicks and a Christmas tree…but I guess that wouldn’t really be building it.
If none of these methods suit you, you could always convert to Judaism. All you have to do is light a candle every night for eight days. If that’s not work management, I don’t know what is.
I probably don’t know what is....
Adopting a child from a poorer country to do it for you is also a way to go. It’s worth it once you get them in the country, but it takes a while. If you get one in time for Christmas, it can make a great present!
So, these are some of the ways you can set up a Christmas tree. Yeah, reading this probably wasted your time, but what can you do? Nothing, that’s what. Screw Flanders screw Flanders screw Flanders screw Flanders.