I had a dream about Jason last night. I was in a mall, an extension of the sequence that came before, but I don't recall what that part was about. In this segment, I saw Jason off to one side as I walked up a ramp to another level of stores. Jason pushed off from a pillar he was standing against and was walking in front of me, having not noticed me ( Read more... )

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This morning I am flying out of Buffalo having spent the night at L & J's.

It's been odd being back in Buffalo, even for one evening. I remember so much about what Jason and I used to do here, and where we used to go.

Getting to my friends' L & J from the Peace Bridge took me right past the same area I would drive through to go north to Jason's when ( Read more... )

Something I felt I had to do today, regardless of the shape of my voice. Contrary to the notes about the original, I am not singing this in any religious context. This is for my Jason. More details on the YouTube post.

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Today a piece of mail came for Jason. I had to open it, as there are some groups sending out charitable receipts and this might have been for his tax return. It wasn't. I closed the envelope, glued it shut again, turned it over, crossed out the address and wrote "DECEASED" in larger print on it. I turned away and went back to work ( Read more... )

A few years ago, my friend G lost her father, peacefully but suddenly and her brother, tragically, within a year of each other. Not long after her brother passed, her husband left (for his widowed sister-in-law...). Jason and I spent a long of time choosing a sympathy card, and we wanted to present it in person. The words were just too powerful to ( Read more... )

On Monday, I made a significant decision for myself. I asked David (themacbear) to help me with a small ritual, and after work on Tuesday I went to his apartment ( Read more... )

I'd like to thank anyone who spent time chatting with me tonight. While I was talking to all of you electronically, I was also scanning the last set of photos of Jason to digital files. It is the end of the hard tasks of going through his belongings that force memories upon me. While these pictures were very old (1999), prior to ever meeting him ( Read more... )

Flickr link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/90139959@N02/sets/72157632247915753

This is the result of a very long night working with a very helpful man, my friend and professional artist, Bill Pusztai (bitterlawngnome). I cannot thank him enough. He also did this ( Read more... )

This video has no images beyond the opening credits, only vocals. I've sung in choirs since I was seven, but after a few years without them I am out of practice. This has no professional recording, no retakes, no editing, just my raw voice singing an a capella rendition of "Song for a Winter's Night" by Gordon Lightfoot.

For Jason.

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