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What to say? So much to say. One problem with our language is that it's sequential, when so much of how I feel is layered and simultaneous.
All at once I want to express the idea that I feel like a spiritual person, that I have this deeply felt sense of some order or prescence to the Universe, that I feel hurt when people talk shit about any kind of religious people or when they talk shit about Faith. Then I want to express that side by side with Faith, I totally get where they are coming from, that when you look at LOGIC their skepticism makes total sense and believing in a 'god' feels brittle and fake.
I feel atheist anger is usually misplaced: they direct it at the practitioners when mostly, I think they are really talking about the fucked up practice of organized religion and how they have and continue to fuck people over. I feel that anger or frustration or derision and I think I get where they are coming from, but try as I may to distance myself from it, the insults hit me like emotional schrapnel and I have to cope or try to make sense of it.
I feel such a disadvantage, in discourse, because agnostics or atheists can articulate their position rationally, but all I have is a lifetime of 'senses' or 'feelings' I can't explain rationally. That's the thing about Faith and Hope: the very concepts are about believing in something even though we cannot rationally explain it. You just FEEL IT and I feel shitty even writing those words because they feel like a cop out. Isn't that an intractable position in rational discourse? "Well, you just don't get how I FEEL." Well, duh, of course. Nobody can argue against a feeling. You can feel like there is a God or that 9/11 was a conspiracy or that there's aliens out there and I can show you all the evidence factual evidence to the contrary and you will still feel that way:
Frustrated... with worlds inside you that, try as you may, you can't get out.
What to say? So much to say. One problem with our language is that it's sequential, when so much of how I feel is layered and simultaneous.
All at once I want to express the idea that I feel like a spiritual person, that I have this deeply felt sense of some order or prescence to the Universe, that I feel hurt when people talk shit about any kind of religious people or when they talk shit about Faith. Then I want to express that side by side with Faith, I totally get where they are coming from, that when you look at LOGIC their skepticism makes total sense and believing in a 'god' feels brittle and fake.
I feel atheist anger is usually misplaced: they direct it at the practitioners when mostly, I think they are really talking about the fucked up practice of organized religion and how they have and continue to fuck people over. I feel that anger or frustration or derision and I think I get where they are coming from, but try as I may to distance myself from it, the insults hit me like emotional schrapnel and I have to cope or try to make sense of it.
I feel such a disadvantage, in discourse, because agnostics or atheists can articulate their position rationally, but all I have is a lifetime of 'senses' or 'feelings' I can't explain rationally. That's the thing about Faith and Hope: the very concepts are about believing in something even though we cannot rationally explain it. You just FEEL IT and I feel shitty even writing those words because they feel like a cop out. Isn't that an intractable position in rational discourse? "Well, you just don't get how I FEEL." Well, duh, of course. Nobody can argue against a feeling. You can feel like there is a God or that 9/11 was a conspiracy or that there's aliens out there and I can show you all the evidence factual evidence to the contrary and you will still feel that way:
Frustrated... with worlds inside you that, try as you may, you can't get out.