emo city
so i haven't wrote in my blog for ages........ lets see.. what is new that i haven't already exausted... i am emo today... as always... on friday i am soooooooo taking off from here... gonna rule!! nice to get the fuck outta here... lots going on in my head i wanna sort it all out before i type or say anything... i will say this though... i literally feel like i am going insane.. i am seriously considering NOT coming home though... just got to the states and just never come back.. i know my sisters would miss me here.. but hell i am going insane being here.. and i wanna just take off.. my mom is all talking about she wants to take aaron with her when she finds a place.. but fuck that.. she is clinging on to him again .. like she did after my dad died in 2000... i tell you.. i should just say fuck it and give up and fucking disappear.. i wish i wasn't here anymore.. i know i could be happy away from her.. i have been .. she went to my sisters place for a couple days and i was happy .. and sleeping... and feeling good you know.. she drags me down.. itz like she projects her depression and anger onto me and i just absorb it all when shes here... you know.?... and then shes happy with my son.. and i get to be all fucking depressed and pissed off.... i hate this shit i thought when we grow up we are supposed to have our own place our own kids and raise em on on our own? not have your mom fucking squat with you.. and piss you off and make you feel like a piece of shit cuz your doing things her way.................... fuck i am sooooo outta here.. fuck this i don't need this shit no more... maybe i just won't come home.. and just roam around in america or something... just say fuck it to everyone and everything.... omg.. i am soooo sick of this shit.. you know i am literally going insane... of course listening to emo tunes sure isn't helping anything out either.. but hey anything to drown out her voice in my head saying i am a fucking loser and i don't deserve my own son... and shit... you know i literally wanna die.... anyway... later.. i am gonna go be hardcore emo...