Fic SGA: Checkmate: The Road Home pt 4: Taking the Plunge

[beadattitude]

Title: The Road Home, part 4: Taking the Plunge
Series:Checkmate ‘Verse
Author: Beadattitude
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Beta: sheafrotherdon, who whittled me down when I ran too wordy, and who has my deepest thanks

Comments

Checkmate 'The Road Home Part 4'

[slashpuppy]

FIIIIIIIRST!

:-)

Re: Checkmate 'The Road Home Part 4'

[beadattitude]

::rolls eyes::

Damn, that's the first time THAT's ever happened.

:D

Re: Checkmate 'The Road Home Part 4'

[slashpuppy]

OK, now that I've got that competitive edge in me silenced ... :-)

That was just *adorable* and lovely. It's sooo right that John calls his team *family* and that they tell each other what they mean to one another!

My absolute favourite lines:

John's voice was strong, if slightly choked. “Brilliant. Generous. Patient." John swayed slightly, but kept his eyes locked on Rodney. “I trust him. Rodney has my heart.”
and
"You... of course you have mine, too!" Rodney flustered, a lump in his throat. "Are you blind?"

*squishes the boys* They are just so schmoopy together! :-)

Wee fixes:
'Ronon Dex on his last visit to made an accurate comparison' ... 'make'
'or not speak as as he chose' ... remove an 'as'
'and nodded or murmuring in reply' ... 'murmured'?
but sank just inches too short.” ... remove the quote mark
'walking carefully in his long robe' ... needs a period
“You must not go until you are called Rodney McKay,” ... period not comma?
"Just checking" ... needs a period
"You... you know. I did." ... 'you know I did'

Re: Checkmate 'The Road Home Part 4'

[beadattitude]

Huh, I just tried to email you and it bounced back. ::shrugs::

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you very much for your sweet words; I really appreciate them.

Along those lines, could you send the fixes to me at beadtific at gmail dot com in the future? On days, especially as tired as I am, the constructive part of the criticism gets kind of lost and I feel all shlumpy. I should be less of a baby about it, but I've had six hours of solid sleep in the last two days. Thank you for having my back, though.

[wolfshark]

Oh, John.

Oh, Rodney.

[beadattitude]

::grins:: Was it what you wanted/hoped for?

[wolfshark]

Absolutely!

[ladycat777]

Oh, oh, this made me cry. I love your Ronon -- he's a kid, but he's wise, and very much the little brother. Your use of brother and sister for them was excellent, as was the whole ritual scene. A lot of people write them cheesy; you absolutely did not.

and rodney's outburst -- perfect :)

God, I love this. Thank you.

[beadattitude]

::tears up:: Thank you so much, sweetie. That means a lot to me.

I'm so glad you loved it. eeeeee!!

[beadattitude]

(And Cate helped me a lot ot pare down Ronon's speech patterns. Whoo. Whittle whittle whittle. And then after she whittled I whittled some more!) He's a big ole love, though.

[beadattitude]

Thanks so much!!

[secondalto]

*sniffs* *wipes eyes*

Oh, Rodney.......of course you have John's heart.

*snuggles boys*

[beadattitude]

::hands you the tissues:: It takes Rodney awhile. ::pats him::