UNITY

[be_inside_me]

so i am sitting here listening to one of my favorite bands... and i am wondering... what the hell is wrong with me?! i sit here and sing along to lyrics i really do not agree with... how can i sing UNITY and PRIDE, when all i care about is how i am better than most people purley based on the fact that i am white... i think that i am better than some black girl cause i am white... even if that black girl is a Harvard Law Student... and has her shit together... who am i to say anything about trash? i came from trash, i cant deny that... just cause i was lucky enough to be adopted by a family that had money, doesnt make me better than anyone else...i cant believe for so long i have sat here and said... oh nigger this nigger that... i am seriously the most shallow and close minded person i know... i am stuck up and i am an asshole.. it makes me sick that i can have friends... when i am so disgusting.. i dont know how someone can be friends with someone when they have so much hate in them... and for no reason.... if i had a reason to dislike people, i guess i could rationilize it... but i cant... i have no reason...

so i guess what i am saying is this... i know that a lot of my friends use words and say things about minorities, and that is never going to change, but i can change myself... and i am going to... even calling Joe, jew... i am not going to do that anymore... i am going to treat everyone like i want to be treated... maybe this is just one more step in making me a better person... who knows... i just think that i need to stop thinking that i am better than everyone...

so what i am saying is this... i dont hate anyone... i am not going to judge anything or anyone...