Boots, Hats and Spurs 4/5
Title: Boots, Hats and Spurs 4/5
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine to tame, but I'm gonna try to ride 'em anyway. :)
Summary: You can't ever go home again. Ever.
Warning: Angst. I strongly suggest you have tissues handy.
Chapter 4:
this is where my grandma lives, and where i was while i wrote this fic
TEN YEARS LATER
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Who's Jaejoong?"
Yoochun almost spit out the water in his mouth.
"How do- where-"
"Minji and I were playing by an old building and we went inside and saw his name carved in the wood next to yours."
Yoochun took a deep breath. "Jaejoong is Minji's uncle. We were best friends when we were younger."
"Oh, is he the uncle that lives in Europe?"
"Yeah. That one."
"Cool. I want to live in Europe."
"Then you'll live in Europe."
"Don't fill her head with unattainable expectations," Crissy said while trying to clean up spaghetti from their three-year-old son's face.
"She can if she wants. I won't stop her."
Yoochun left the table. He went to the porch and stared over the hay fields in the direction of the Kims. He hadn't thought of Jaejoong for a long time. He put a hand to his chest. The mark had faded, but Jae had broken the skin. Yoochun picked at it until it was a scar. Even that had faded, but with fingers on his skin, he could find the imperfect nub. He wondered briefly what it would be like to see Jaejoong again, then shook the thought away, and went to feed his horses.
He lost himself in farm work, things he’d been putting off. Anything to keep from thinking.
Yoochun went to bed late, sliding into bed next to his wife of eight years. He loved Crissy more than he should, and knew he didn't deserve her. He definitely didn't deserve their two children.
She shifted and pressed cold skin to his in her sleep. He rolled to his side and draped an arm around her. He knew she wasn't completely happy. She wanted to give their children a better opportunity than she had. And to her, that meant they had to move to a city.
Yoochun wasn't sure he could do that.
He didn't sleep, but lay until the sky started turning gray. He slipped out of bed just as quietly as he climbed in. He dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. The smell of coffee filled the house. He poured some into his mug and then left the house.
He saddled up Baby (short for Rixie's Baby) and rode to the water lines. The sun rose over the east hills as the metal wheels moved the line down the alfalfa field.
His father had broken his leg five years ago, and had to sell off some property. Now, Yoochun only had 100 acres. He didn't mind. He had sixty for alfalfa, and the rest was still the grazing land that neighbored the Kims' property. He didn't have cows or chickens because Crissy wanted to shop at the store for groceries. He only had four horses.
The only thing keeping him on the land was that it was already paid for, and he sold enough alfalfa to make ends meet. And each spring, Baby and Tookee each had a foal that he could sell for a few hundred dollars.
Yoochun rode back to the stalls. He rubbed Baby down and fed his horses. He walked back to the house. He could see Crissy in the kitchen window, cooing at Jacob. That meant Hana was eating breakfast. It was Saturday, and Saturday was riding day. He entered the house and hung his hat on the worn hooks.
"Daddy!"
He bent and lifted Hana up into the air. Her braids swung around her face.
"How's my littlest cowgirl?"
"But Daddy, I'm a European now, remember?"
"Right. Compromise. European cowgirl?"
"Are there such things?"
Yoochun smiled. "Now there is."
"Daddy, you're so silly."
"Are you ready to go riding?"
She gasped and covered her mouth. "No." She struggled in his arms and he set her down. "Momma says I have to finish breakfast."
"Momma's right. Let’s eat."
Yoochun stopped at the sink to kiss Crissy's cheek and ruffle Jacob's hair. Crissy started talking about some of the families in town. Yoochun listened with half an ear.
"Momma! I'm done!"
"Don't shout," Yoochun said immediately.
"Sorry, Daddy."
"Hurry and go change," Crissy said, "so you can go riding."
"Yes, ma'am."
She scampered off. Yoochun watched with a smile.
"You didn't sleep last night," Crissy said with mild concern.
He shook his head. "I'm alright."
Crissy smiled and kissed his cheek. "I really want you to tear that old barn down. You and the Kim Twins just need to demolish it."
"Not happening."
"It wasn't sturdy when you were young, and now Hana and Minji are playing in it. What if they get hurt?"
"I know."
"What is it with you and that barn anyway? It's just a pile of old wood now."
Yoochun smiled. "What is it with you and that dog-eared bunny rabbit sitting on our dresser?"
Crissy sighed. "I know. Sorry. I'm just worried about my girl."
Yoochun held her close and kissed her. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"Everything. I don't deserve you."
She smiled and then there was a thunk and Jacob was crying and Hana was pulling on his hand to go riding. He blew his wife a kiss as she consoled the toddler. Hana put on her boots just like Daddy's and plopped on a cowboy hat. Yoochun laughed as she bounded ahead of him to the stables. And then she quieted as soon as they entered.
"Why is it so big, Daddy, when we only have four horses?"
"Grandpa used to have twenty horses."
"Wow. That's a lot of manure."
Yoochun laughed. "Yes, it was."
He led Lightning from his stall and walked down to Baby's. He let Hana lead Baby to the tack room. He saddled both horses, a running commentary to teach Hana how to do it. And then he hoisted her up. The girl could ride well, and Baby was used to her instructions coming from Hana's shorter legs.
"Do they have rodeos in Europe, Daddy?"
"I'm sure they do."
"I wouldn't want to be a European cowgirl if there are no rodeos."
"I would say not."
"Maybe I can ask Uncle Junsu if they do. And he can ask Jinjoong."
"Jaejoong, sweetie."
"Jaejoong?"
"Yeah."
"Were you good friends, Daddy?"
"Best friends."
"Like me and Minji?"
"Yep."
"Wow. Do you still talk to him?"
"No."
"Why?"
Yoochun didn't answer. Jae had called him once. And Yoochun had told him he was getting married, and Jae never called again.
"Ooh, Daddy, look."
Down the gravel road, a car kicked up a cloud of dust. Sunlight sparkled on black paint, and he was tossed back, ten years ago, when it was the sight of red paint that brought his best friend home again.
His stomach dropped, and he swallowed.
"Ooh they're going to the Kims. Can we go see who it is, Daddy?"
He had a few things to talk to Junsu about, so he said, "Sure. Let's run a bit, yeah."
"Yes!"
Yoochun kicked Lightning into a run and heard Baby follow. They cut through a few fields and in less than ten minutes brought the horses to a walk up the Kim driveway. The black car stood out sharply in an area occupied with three pickup trucks. It was a BMW.
"They're on the porch, Daddy!"
"Hana, don't-"
"Shout, sorry."
Yoochun dismounted, and then lifted Hana off. He led the horses to the railing and cinched up their leads.
Hana took off and ran around to the back porch. "Uncle Junsu!"
"Sweetums! I've missed you!"
"Daddy says not to shout."
"Well, Daddy is always right."
Yoochun smiled. He walked around the corner of the house and stopped quickly. His vision went blurry and he put up a hand on a railing to steady himself.
"Daddy?"
He looked at Hana and back to Jaejoong sitting on a chair next to another man.
She did the same and then clawed at Yoochun's leg. He lifted her up and she hid her face behind her hat.
"Who is that?" she whispered loudly.
"That's Jaejoong."
Her eyes went wide. "Your bestest friend?"
Yoochun met Jaejoong's eyes. They were cold, guarded, and Yoochun wanted to see him smile.
"Yeah, my bestest friend. Do you want to meet him?"
"Is he a cowboy?"
Yoochun laughed, and Jae's mouth turned in a smile.
"No. I'm definitely not a cowboy," Jae said.
"He likes to ride though," the other man said.
Jaejoong slugged him in the knee and stood up.
With each step closer, Yoochun couldn't breathe. Jae was still gorgeous and he still looked twenty years old. His hair was a deep wine red, his skin still flawless. He wore brown pants, a blacked ribbed sweater pushed up his forearms. And Yoochun could tell he still had all that muscle. His mouth went dry.
"Hi, little lady," Jae said, and Hana turned away.
Yoochun smiled at Jae and said, "Hey now. I thought you wanted to ask Jaejoong a question."
She pulled away, eyes wide. She glanced at Jaejoong quickly. "Can I?"
"Of course, but you have to introduce yourself first."
Hana bit her lip. "Like Momma taught me?"
Yoochun nodded and set her down.
She looked up at Jaejoong and held out her hand. He shook it. "My name is Hana Park and I am seven years old and in first grade."
"It's very nice to meet you, Hana Park. My name is Kim Jaejoong. I am twenty-nine"-the other man coughed thirty-one--"and I live in Amsterdam."
"No. Daddy said you lived in Europe."
"Amsterdam is in Europe."
"Oh."
"You can ask your question,” Yoochun said.
Hana looked up at Jaejoong and hooked her finger. He crouched down. "Daddy says that I'm his cowgirl, but he also says that I can live in Europe if I want to, but I don't want to if there aren't rodeos because how can you be a cowgirl if you don't rodeo? Are there rodeos in Europe?"
Jae smiled, and Yoochun saw his little girl swoon. "Oh, there are definitely rodeos in Europe."
"Really? And cowgirls too?"
Jae nodded. "Really."
"But they're the kind that would ride anything," the other muttered.
Yoochun was starting to dislike him and based on Junsu's frown, so did he.
"Did you hear, Daddy? They do have European cowgirls."
"Yep. I told you."
"Sweetums," Junsu suddenly said. "Minji and her brothers are building something to destroy right over that hill."
"Can I go, Daddy, please?"
"Yes, but listen for me. We can't stay long."
"Thank you, Daddy!" She hugged his legs and then ran off.
"She's gorgeous," Jaejoong said.
Yoochun had to swallow to say thanks. They stared at each other for a moment and then Jae smiled and covered the distance between them. His arms went around Yoochun's neck. After only a moment, Yoochun put his arms around Jae's hips.
"It is so good to see you," Jae whispered into his hair.
Yoochun didn't reply. If he tried, he'd cry and he really didn't need to cry right now. He buried his face in Jaejoong's neck. Jae tightened his hold.
“God, you smell good,” Yoochun whispered.
"You still stink."
Yoochun laughed into his neck; he felt Jae shiver.
"Okay, god, hands off my boyfriend, please."
Jae pulled away and rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Minnie. I haven't seen him in ten years."
But it broke the moment and Yoochun stepped away. Jae smiled and then gave him a once over.
“Still sexy as always, Chunnie."
Yoochun smiled, and then cocked his head. "I think you're even prettier than you were ten years ago."
Jae laughed and slapped his shoulder. "Don't call me pretty, jack ass."
"So, do I even exist right now?" the other asked.
Yoochun and Jae kept eye contact for a moment longer, and the moment transferred one thought: Later.
"Sorry, darling," Jae said and turned away from Yoochun. "Chunnie, this is Changmin, the current boyfriend. Minnie, this is my Yoochun."
Changmin rolled his eyes, but he still stood up and shook Yoochun's hand. "It's good to meet you," Changmin said. "I think I've heard every 'this one time with Chunnie' stories."
Junsu scoffed. "I'm sure you haven't."
"So," Jae said, tone careful. "Little girl, huh?"
Yoochun nodded. "And a three year old son."
Jae smiled.
Silence fell.
"Amsterdam?" Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong nodded.
"What happened to Paris?"
"After working for a few years, I got to decide where to go. I've lived in Madrid, Prague, Stockholm. Now I'm in Amsterdam."
"Sounds ... exciting?"
Jaejoong laughed, hand coming up to cover his mouth, and Yoochun’s heart constricted.
"So bro," Junsu said, "you were explaining the boyfriend."
"Don't talk about him like he's not right here," Jae said immediately.
Junsu rolled his eyes and said to Changmin, "My most sincere apologies."
"Su!"
The brothers glared at each other.
Changmin rolled his eyes. "It’s alright, Jae."
"No, it’s not."
"Look, bro. It's not that you're gay-"
"Bi, thank you."
"Whatever. We all kind of figured anyway, but he's been pretty rude since he got here."
Changmin frowned.
"According to country standards," Jae said.
"Just don't let Junho hear you make sexual innuendos around his children. We may be country, but we ain't stupid."
"Junsu," Yoochun said quietly.
"Sorry. I can't deal with this right now." And Junsu stood up and walked into the house.
Jaejoong sighed and pulled out a cigarette. He offered the pack to Yoochun.
"I haven't had a cigarette in ten years," Yoochun said.
Changmin snorted. "Only thing about him I don't like."
Jaejoong smiled around an exhale of smoke. He draped a leg over the arm of his chair and Yoochun saw he was wearing cowboy boots.
"That's a lie," Jae said, without taking his eyes from Yoochun. "You don't like the cowboy hat hanging from my bedpost."
Yoochun’s breath caught and he looked at the boots more closely.
"True. I don't like those boots either."
"They remind me of home." Jae put a foot up on the table between them.
Yoochun swallowed. Carved on the heel of the boot were his initials: PYC
"The home you couldn't wait to leave."
"Yep, that one."
Jaejoong took another drag.
"So where did you two meet?" Yoochun asked, trying to get his mind off the fact that Jae still had his boots, and his hat.
Jae smiled and flicked ash from his cigarette. "Amsterdam. We got in a fight over the quality of some sculpture and I ended up in the bathroom on my knees."
"Nice."
"And how did you snag up the girl I was supposed to marry?"
Yoochun laughed.
"What?" Changmin demanded.
"Crissy has eight older brothers," Yoochun said. "Jaejoong has eight older sisters. We were what? Fifteen, sixteen, getting drunk in some field with a couple of kids and someone-"
"You," Jaejoong said. "It was you."
"Was not."
"Yes, it was."
"Whatever. Anyway someone--”
“You.”
“-said it was a sign and they should get married, and we never let it go. I think she did have a crush on you back then."
"Yeah, that's why she called me ‘Yoochun's bastard friend’."
"Everyone called you that."
Jae snorted. "God, I am so glad I got out of this place. So how did you end up with her?"
"I stole her from Yunho."
Jae laughed. "What?"
"Yunho said I'd never find a girl to marry me, and Crissy said something like any girl would like to marry me, and Yunho got all pissed off. So I told Crissy I'd marry her and it took me about two months until she broke up with Yunho and less than a year later we got married."
"Where's Yunho now?"
Yoochun shrugged. "Last I heard he lived south somewhere."
"You love her."
Yoochun scoffed. "Of course, I love her. Except that she's threatening to tear the old barn down."
"It’s still there?"
"Of course."
Their eyes met for a long moment, and then Jae sort of smiled and flicked the ash on his cigarette.
"Is that the famous barn of all your childhood misdeeds?" Changmin asked.
Yoochun met his eyes, and then met Jaejoong's again. Carefully blank, but somehow Yoochun knew that look meant Changmin didn't know about them.
"Yeah, it is."
Changmin looked back and forth between them and then sighed. "You two are a piece of work. Haven't seen each other in ten years and you can still talk with your eyes."
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Look!"
Little footsteps ran through the gravel and up the stairs. Hana's boots slid on the porch as she stopped in front of Yoochun. She held up her hands. There was a garter snake wrapped around her wrist and fingers.
Yoochun jerked back and just managed to nod. “That’s … nice, cowgirl.”
She looked confused and then Jae was there. He crouched down next to Yoochun's chair. His hand rested on Yoochun's arm. Yoochun couldn't breathe.
"Well, he is gorgeous. May I hold him?"
"You like snakes, Uncle Jaejoong?"
Jae smiled and met Yoochun's eyes. Jae had already won over his daughter's heart, and with how fast Yoochun's was beating, it was reminding him that his heart had been won over long ago.
Jae took the snake and let it crawl up around his arm.
"That thing is going to bite you," Changmin said.
Jae laughed. "It's a garter snake, Min. I'm too big to eat for dinner, so I'm not worth the trouble of biting."
Hana giggled. "Can I keep him, Daddy?"
"No, little cowgirl. You go put him back."
"But, Daddy-"
"He's got a home somewhere," Jae said quietly as he gave the snake back. "He'll be sad if you take him from his home."
Yoochun swallowed a lump in his throat. And then said, "Hurry and come back. Momma's probably wondering where we are."
"Ah, but I don't want to go yet. I want to talk to Uncle Jaejoong about Europe."
Yoochun met Jaejoong's eyes. "How long will you be here?"
"A couple days. Don't know. Junho might kick us out."
"Go take the snake back," Yoochun said to Hana.
"Okay."
They watched her walk away.
"She looks just like you," Jaejoong said. "Poor thing."
Yoochun smiled. "Brat."
Chapter 5: Last Time
Chapter 3: Kiss Goodbye
Chapter 2: Not Here
Chapter 1: Coming Home
.
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine to tame, but I'm gonna try to ride 'em anyway. :)
Summary: You can't ever go home again. Ever.
Warning: Angst. I strongly suggest you have tissues handy.
Chapter 4:
this is where my grandma lives, and where i was while i wrote this fic
TEN YEARS LATER
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Who's Jaejoong?"
Yoochun almost spit out the water in his mouth.
"How do- where-"
"Minji and I were playing by an old building and we went inside and saw his name carved in the wood next to yours."
Yoochun took a deep breath. "Jaejoong is Minji's uncle. We were best friends when we were younger."
"Oh, is he the uncle that lives in Europe?"
"Yeah. That one."
"Cool. I want to live in Europe."
"Then you'll live in Europe."
"Don't fill her head with unattainable expectations," Crissy said while trying to clean up spaghetti from their three-year-old son's face.
"She can if she wants. I won't stop her."
Yoochun left the table. He went to the porch and stared over the hay fields in the direction of the Kims. He hadn't thought of Jaejoong for a long time. He put a hand to his chest. The mark had faded, but Jae had broken the skin. Yoochun picked at it until it was a scar. Even that had faded, but with fingers on his skin, he could find the imperfect nub. He wondered briefly what it would be like to see Jaejoong again, then shook the thought away, and went to feed his horses.
He lost himself in farm work, things he’d been putting off. Anything to keep from thinking.
Yoochun went to bed late, sliding into bed next to his wife of eight years. He loved Crissy more than he should, and knew he didn't deserve her. He definitely didn't deserve their two children.
She shifted and pressed cold skin to his in her sleep. He rolled to his side and draped an arm around her. He knew she wasn't completely happy. She wanted to give their children a better opportunity than she had. And to her, that meant they had to move to a city.
Yoochun wasn't sure he could do that.
He didn't sleep, but lay until the sky started turning gray. He slipped out of bed just as quietly as he climbed in. He dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. The smell of coffee filled the house. He poured some into his mug and then left the house.
He saddled up Baby (short for Rixie's Baby) and rode to the water lines. The sun rose over the east hills as the metal wheels moved the line down the alfalfa field.
His father had broken his leg five years ago, and had to sell off some property. Now, Yoochun only had 100 acres. He didn't mind. He had sixty for alfalfa, and the rest was still the grazing land that neighbored the Kims' property. He didn't have cows or chickens because Crissy wanted to shop at the store for groceries. He only had four horses.
The only thing keeping him on the land was that it was already paid for, and he sold enough alfalfa to make ends meet. And each spring, Baby and Tookee each had a foal that he could sell for a few hundred dollars.
Yoochun rode back to the stalls. He rubbed Baby down and fed his horses. He walked back to the house. He could see Crissy in the kitchen window, cooing at Jacob. That meant Hana was eating breakfast. It was Saturday, and Saturday was riding day. He entered the house and hung his hat on the worn hooks.
"Daddy!"
He bent and lifted Hana up into the air. Her braids swung around her face.
"How's my littlest cowgirl?"
"But Daddy, I'm a European now, remember?"
"Right. Compromise. European cowgirl?"
"Are there such things?"
Yoochun smiled. "Now there is."
"Daddy, you're so silly."
"Are you ready to go riding?"
She gasped and covered her mouth. "No." She struggled in his arms and he set her down. "Momma says I have to finish breakfast."
"Momma's right. Let’s eat."
Yoochun stopped at the sink to kiss Crissy's cheek and ruffle Jacob's hair. Crissy started talking about some of the families in town. Yoochun listened with half an ear.
"Momma! I'm done!"
"Don't shout," Yoochun said immediately.
"Sorry, Daddy."
"Hurry and go change," Crissy said, "so you can go riding."
"Yes, ma'am."
She scampered off. Yoochun watched with a smile.
"You didn't sleep last night," Crissy said with mild concern.
He shook his head. "I'm alright."
Crissy smiled and kissed his cheek. "I really want you to tear that old barn down. You and the Kim Twins just need to demolish it."
"Not happening."
"It wasn't sturdy when you were young, and now Hana and Minji are playing in it. What if they get hurt?"
"I know."
"What is it with you and that barn anyway? It's just a pile of old wood now."
Yoochun smiled. "What is it with you and that dog-eared bunny rabbit sitting on our dresser?"
Crissy sighed. "I know. Sorry. I'm just worried about my girl."
Yoochun held her close and kissed her. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"Everything. I don't deserve you."
She smiled and then there was a thunk and Jacob was crying and Hana was pulling on his hand to go riding. He blew his wife a kiss as she consoled the toddler. Hana put on her boots just like Daddy's and plopped on a cowboy hat. Yoochun laughed as she bounded ahead of him to the stables. And then she quieted as soon as they entered.
"Why is it so big, Daddy, when we only have four horses?"
"Grandpa used to have twenty horses."
"Wow. That's a lot of manure."
Yoochun laughed. "Yes, it was."
He led Lightning from his stall and walked down to Baby's. He let Hana lead Baby to the tack room. He saddled both horses, a running commentary to teach Hana how to do it. And then he hoisted her up. The girl could ride well, and Baby was used to her instructions coming from Hana's shorter legs.
"Do they have rodeos in Europe, Daddy?"
"I'm sure they do."
"I wouldn't want to be a European cowgirl if there are no rodeos."
"I would say not."
"Maybe I can ask Uncle Junsu if they do. And he can ask Jinjoong."
"Jaejoong, sweetie."
"Jaejoong?"
"Yeah."
"Were you good friends, Daddy?"
"Best friends."
"Like me and Minji?"
"Yep."
"Wow. Do you still talk to him?"
"No."
"Why?"
Yoochun didn't answer. Jae had called him once. And Yoochun had told him he was getting married, and Jae never called again.
"Ooh, Daddy, look."
Down the gravel road, a car kicked up a cloud of dust. Sunlight sparkled on black paint, and he was tossed back, ten years ago, when it was the sight of red paint that brought his best friend home again.
His stomach dropped, and he swallowed.
"Ooh they're going to the Kims. Can we go see who it is, Daddy?"
He had a few things to talk to Junsu about, so he said, "Sure. Let's run a bit, yeah."
"Yes!"
Yoochun kicked Lightning into a run and heard Baby follow. They cut through a few fields and in less than ten minutes brought the horses to a walk up the Kim driveway. The black car stood out sharply in an area occupied with three pickup trucks. It was a BMW.
"They're on the porch, Daddy!"
"Hana, don't-"
"Shout, sorry."
Yoochun dismounted, and then lifted Hana off. He led the horses to the railing and cinched up their leads.
Hana took off and ran around to the back porch. "Uncle Junsu!"
"Sweetums! I've missed you!"
"Daddy says not to shout."
"Well, Daddy is always right."
Yoochun smiled. He walked around the corner of the house and stopped quickly. His vision went blurry and he put up a hand on a railing to steady himself.
"Daddy?"
He looked at Hana and back to Jaejoong sitting on a chair next to another man.
She did the same and then clawed at Yoochun's leg. He lifted her up and she hid her face behind her hat.
"Who is that?" she whispered loudly.
"That's Jaejoong."
Her eyes went wide. "Your bestest friend?"
Yoochun met Jaejoong's eyes. They were cold, guarded, and Yoochun wanted to see him smile.
"Yeah, my bestest friend. Do you want to meet him?"
"Is he a cowboy?"
Yoochun laughed, and Jae's mouth turned in a smile.
"No. I'm definitely not a cowboy," Jae said.
"He likes to ride though," the other man said.
Jaejoong slugged him in the knee and stood up.
With each step closer, Yoochun couldn't breathe. Jae was still gorgeous and he still looked twenty years old. His hair was a deep wine red, his skin still flawless. He wore brown pants, a blacked ribbed sweater pushed up his forearms. And Yoochun could tell he still had all that muscle. His mouth went dry.
"Hi, little lady," Jae said, and Hana turned away.
Yoochun smiled at Jae and said, "Hey now. I thought you wanted to ask Jaejoong a question."
She pulled away, eyes wide. She glanced at Jaejoong quickly. "Can I?"
"Of course, but you have to introduce yourself first."
Hana bit her lip. "Like Momma taught me?"
Yoochun nodded and set her down.
She looked up at Jaejoong and held out her hand. He shook it. "My name is Hana Park and I am seven years old and in first grade."
"It's very nice to meet you, Hana Park. My name is Kim Jaejoong. I am twenty-nine"-the other man coughed thirty-one--"and I live in Amsterdam."
"No. Daddy said you lived in Europe."
"Amsterdam is in Europe."
"Oh."
"You can ask your question,” Yoochun said.
Hana looked up at Jaejoong and hooked her finger. He crouched down. "Daddy says that I'm his cowgirl, but he also says that I can live in Europe if I want to, but I don't want to if there aren't rodeos because how can you be a cowgirl if you don't rodeo? Are there rodeos in Europe?"
Jae smiled, and Yoochun saw his little girl swoon. "Oh, there are definitely rodeos in Europe."
"Really? And cowgirls too?"
Jae nodded. "Really."
"But they're the kind that would ride anything," the other muttered.
Yoochun was starting to dislike him and based on Junsu's frown, so did he.
"Did you hear, Daddy? They do have European cowgirls."
"Yep. I told you."
"Sweetums," Junsu suddenly said. "Minji and her brothers are building something to destroy right over that hill."
"Can I go, Daddy, please?"
"Yes, but listen for me. We can't stay long."
"Thank you, Daddy!" She hugged his legs and then ran off.
"She's gorgeous," Jaejoong said.
Yoochun had to swallow to say thanks. They stared at each other for a moment and then Jae smiled and covered the distance between them. His arms went around Yoochun's neck. After only a moment, Yoochun put his arms around Jae's hips.
"It is so good to see you," Jae whispered into his hair.
Yoochun didn't reply. If he tried, he'd cry and he really didn't need to cry right now. He buried his face in Jaejoong's neck. Jae tightened his hold.
“God, you smell good,” Yoochun whispered.
"You still stink."
Yoochun laughed into his neck; he felt Jae shiver.
"Okay, god, hands off my boyfriend, please."
Jae pulled away and rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Minnie. I haven't seen him in ten years."
But it broke the moment and Yoochun stepped away. Jae smiled and then gave him a once over.
“Still sexy as always, Chunnie."
Yoochun smiled, and then cocked his head. "I think you're even prettier than you were ten years ago."
Jae laughed and slapped his shoulder. "Don't call me pretty, jack ass."
"So, do I even exist right now?" the other asked.
Yoochun and Jae kept eye contact for a moment longer, and the moment transferred one thought: Later.
"Sorry, darling," Jae said and turned away from Yoochun. "Chunnie, this is Changmin, the current boyfriend. Minnie, this is my Yoochun."
Changmin rolled his eyes, but he still stood up and shook Yoochun's hand. "It's good to meet you," Changmin said. "I think I've heard every 'this one time with Chunnie' stories."
Junsu scoffed. "I'm sure you haven't."
"So," Jae said, tone careful. "Little girl, huh?"
Yoochun nodded. "And a three year old son."
Jae smiled.
Silence fell.
"Amsterdam?" Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong nodded.
"What happened to Paris?"
"After working for a few years, I got to decide where to go. I've lived in Madrid, Prague, Stockholm. Now I'm in Amsterdam."
"Sounds ... exciting?"
Jaejoong laughed, hand coming up to cover his mouth, and Yoochun’s heart constricted.
"So bro," Junsu said, "you were explaining the boyfriend."
"Don't talk about him like he's not right here," Jae said immediately.
Junsu rolled his eyes and said to Changmin, "My most sincere apologies."
"Su!"
The brothers glared at each other.
Changmin rolled his eyes. "It’s alright, Jae."
"No, it’s not."
"Look, bro. It's not that you're gay-"
"Bi, thank you."
"Whatever. We all kind of figured anyway, but he's been pretty rude since he got here."
Changmin frowned.
"According to country standards," Jae said.
"Just don't let Junho hear you make sexual innuendos around his children. We may be country, but we ain't stupid."
"Junsu," Yoochun said quietly.
"Sorry. I can't deal with this right now." And Junsu stood up and walked into the house.
Jaejoong sighed and pulled out a cigarette. He offered the pack to Yoochun.
"I haven't had a cigarette in ten years," Yoochun said.
Changmin snorted. "Only thing about him I don't like."
Jaejoong smiled around an exhale of smoke. He draped a leg over the arm of his chair and Yoochun saw he was wearing cowboy boots.
"That's a lie," Jae said, without taking his eyes from Yoochun. "You don't like the cowboy hat hanging from my bedpost."
Yoochun’s breath caught and he looked at the boots more closely.
"True. I don't like those boots either."
"They remind me of home." Jae put a foot up on the table between them.
Yoochun swallowed. Carved on the heel of the boot were his initials: PYC
"The home you couldn't wait to leave."
"Yep, that one."
Jaejoong took another drag.
"So where did you two meet?" Yoochun asked, trying to get his mind off the fact that Jae still had his boots, and his hat.
Jae smiled and flicked ash from his cigarette. "Amsterdam. We got in a fight over the quality of some sculpture and I ended up in the bathroom on my knees."
"Nice."
"And how did you snag up the girl I was supposed to marry?"
Yoochun laughed.
"What?" Changmin demanded.
"Crissy has eight older brothers," Yoochun said. "Jaejoong has eight older sisters. We were what? Fifteen, sixteen, getting drunk in some field with a couple of kids and someone-"
"You," Jaejoong said. "It was you."
"Was not."
"Yes, it was."
"Whatever. Anyway someone--”
“You.”
“-said it was a sign and they should get married, and we never let it go. I think she did have a crush on you back then."
"Yeah, that's why she called me ‘Yoochun's bastard friend’."
"Everyone called you that."
Jae snorted. "God, I am so glad I got out of this place. So how did you end up with her?"
"I stole her from Yunho."
Jae laughed. "What?"
"Yunho said I'd never find a girl to marry me, and Crissy said something like any girl would like to marry me, and Yunho got all pissed off. So I told Crissy I'd marry her and it took me about two months until she broke up with Yunho and less than a year later we got married."
"Where's Yunho now?"
Yoochun shrugged. "Last I heard he lived south somewhere."
"You love her."
Yoochun scoffed. "Of course, I love her. Except that she's threatening to tear the old barn down."
"It’s still there?"
"Of course."
Their eyes met for a long moment, and then Jae sort of smiled and flicked the ash on his cigarette.
"Is that the famous barn of all your childhood misdeeds?" Changmin asked.
Yoochun met his eyes, and then met Jaejoong's again. Carefully blank, but somehow Yoochun knew that look meant Changmin didn't know about them.
"Yeah, it is."
Changmin looked back and forth between them and then sighed. "You two are a piece of work. Haven't seen each other in ten years and you can still talk with your eyes."
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Look!"
Little footsteps ran through the gravel and up the stairs. Hana's boots slid on the porch as she stopped in front of Yoochun. She held up her hands. There was a garter snake wrapped around her wrist and fingers.
Yoochun jerked back and just managed to nod. “That’s … nice, cowgirl.”
She looked confused and then Jae was there. He crouched down next to Yoochun's chair. His hand rested on Yoochun's arm. Yoochun couldn't breathe.
"Well, he is gorgeous. May I hold him?"
"You like snakes, Uncle Jaejoong?"
Jae smiled and met Yoochun's eyes. Jae had already won over his daughter's heart, and with how fast Yoochun's was beating, it was reminding him that his heart had been won over long ago.
Jae took the snake and let it crawl up around his arm.
"That thing is going to bite you," Changmin said.
Jae laughed. "It's a garter snake, Min. I'm too big to eat for dinner, so I'm not worth the trouble of biting."
Hana giggled. "Can I keep him, Daddy?"
"No, little cowgirl. You go put him back."
"But, Daddy-"
"He's got a home somewhere," Jae said quietly as he gave the snake back. "He'll be sad if you take him from his home."
Yoochun swallowed a lump in his throat. And then said, "Hurry and come back. Momma's probably wondering where we are."
"Ah, but I don't want to go yet. I want to talk to Uncle Jaejoong about Europe."
Yoochun met Jaejoong's eyes. "How long will you be here?"
"A couple days. Don't know. Junho might kick us out."
"Go take the snake back," Yoochun said to Hana.
"Okay."
They watched her walk away.
"She looks just like you," Jaejoong said. "Poor thing."
Yoochun smiled. "Brat."
Chapter 5: Last Time
Chapter 3: Kiss Goodbye
Chapter 2: Not Here
Chapter 1: Coming Home
.