Skin You're in 15/?
Title: Skin You're In 15/?
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaehwa (Changmin/Junsu, Yunho/Heechul, past Yunho/Jaehwa)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They aren't mine to play with.
Summary: Jaehwa is one of the prettiest girls Yoochun has ever met. Yoochun isn't sure how to react when he finds out that Jaehwa is a girl in her mind, but she has the body of a man. Does that change who she is?
Warnings: Transgender!Jaejoong
A/N: Before you start reading, I suggest you familiarize yourself with Gender Identity Disorder. I personally think calling it a disorder is bullshit. There is a lot of controversy over this topic.
If you have questions, or you want to discuss this topic with others, go here: http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/40030.html (you have to be a member of the community, go here to join http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/)
A/N Part 2: This fic is dedicated to willowwing because she has gone to great lengths to make her most recent fic realistic, and I hope that I have taken this topic and done the same. And she loves JaeChun, so it's a JaeChun.
Part 15: The Visit
There were some issues with the time frame in this story, but I fixed those ...... hopefully ....
Yoochun swam in the moment between awake and sleep, curled up and floating through pleasure trickling over his skin. Heat encased his lower body and twisted up his spine. Hands pressed flat on his chest. Yoochun moaned, eyes blinking open to nothing but blurry walls and black hair, and his strung-out mind supplied his girlfriend’s name and he reached for her, arms stopped and he tried again, and then again.
“Jaehwa,” Yoochun whimpered, twisting his wrists in the knots. His vision cleared and he looked up at his hands bound to the headboard.
“Revenge, I think they call it,” Jaehwa said.
Yoochun moaned, eyes shutting.
Jaehwa moved, hips rising, and that pleasurable ache returned full force and Yoochun gasped. He bent his knees, lifting his butt off the bed to meet Jaehwa’s down thrusts. Her tight ass pulsated around him.
“Hey, guys-Oh, shit, Jaehwa, lock your door.”
Yoochun glanced at the door, at Junsu leaning against the frame, smirking.
Jaehwa smiled at Yoochun and rolled her hips, and Yoochun moaned, eyes shutting again as Jaehwa teased him.
Junsu whistled. “Nice cock, Yoochun.”
“God, go away,” Yoochun muttered, gasping between words. “Fuck, Jae-love, speed up.”
Jaehwa giggled and fell forward, body bent in just the way for her to rub against Yoochun’s body. She moved forward and back, lips teasing Yoochun’s chin and neck.
Yoochun’s head swam. He tried to tug on the restraints again, wanted to hold his girlfriend as his orgasm built in his body. Whimpering, he lifted a leg to run it over her hip and she laughed again.
“Junsu, you can leave whenever you want to,” Jaehwa said with lips hovering over Yoochun’s.
Yoochun lifted his head to kiss her, but she moved away.
“So then I won’t leave,” Junsu said. “I like this show.”
“Please fuck off,” Jaehwa said sweetly, still not looking at him. “We’ll be done in an hour or so.”
“An hour!” Yoochun protested.
Jaehwa smirked at him. “I haven’t properly tortured my captive, so yes, an hour.”
“Oh god,” Yoochun moaned, going slack against the bed.
Junsu laughed. “Okay, okay. I’ll go call Changmin for some phone sex.”
“Isn’t he in class?”
“Then I’ll send him dirty text messages.”
Jaehwa laughed.
The door shut with a soft click, and Jaehwa leaned over Yoochun, kissing him deeply. “I love you.”
“I love you,” Yoochun managed to say back.
Jaehwa smiled. “I’m sure I can make you doubt that.”
“I don’t.”
Jaehwa laughed, covering her mouth for a moment. She reached for something, and then Yoochun’s vision went dark. Soft cloth caressed his face and tightened around his head.
“Jaehwa!”
“Shush, or the next thing I grab is going in your mouth.”
Yoochun moaned and tried to rely on sensations to figure out what the hell his girlfriend was going to do next. She shifted, his dick pushing against her inner walls, and she moaned, doing it again and again. Yoochun stayed inside her while she moved, never lifting, just rotating. He tried to concentrate on what she was saying to him, or if she was saying anything at all, but it was lost in the pleasure-filled haze of sex.
God, he needed to come.
Jaehwa spread her legs more, so she was sitting right on his lap, and it was impossible for Yoochun to do more than clench his thighs, dick pushing inside her, but not thrusting. With a whimper, Jaehwa rocked her hips back and forth, one hand clutching his chest. The other ran up and down his body, over his ribs and stomach, teasing touches, and she stopped, fingers spread around the lowest part of his stomach below his belly button.
“You must really love me,” Jaehwa whispered.
Yoochun nodded. “I do,” he said, voice heavy with lust. “God, I love you.”
Jaehwa was quiet and still for a moment, and then her hand moved lower. Without his vision, it took Yoochun a few seconds to realize that Jaehwa was touching herself. Stroking that annoyance between her legs.
Yoochun’s breath sped up, and then his chest hitched when Jaehwa pressed the firm erection against his stomach. Yes, it was small, but there was no mistaking the feel of that and balls smashed on his skin.
Yoochun whimpered her name.
“What?” Her voice was careful, unsure. And yet her hips moved, still teasing Yoochun beyond anything she’d done before.
“W-why … why, just …”
“You don’t like it,” Jaehwa whispered.
“Neither do you,” Yoochun said immediately. “Which is why I’m confused. And, god, god, fuck, stop moving your hips and let me talk coherently.”
Jaehwa chuckled, let herself go and leaned over him, kissing him softly. Their lips stayed together, their kiss fluctuating between sweet and heavy, slow and demanding. Kissing Jaehwa had always been such a treat, and now without being able to see it was even better. He had to follow her lead, follow her tongue and lips. She started moving again, knees sliding back to press against him in a way that was pleasurable for both of them. It wasn’t quite the same since Yoochun couldn’t hold her, but it was close enough.
This time she didn’t tease. She didn’t stop and she sped up, slamming herself back on his body. He had to bend his knees more, for their bodies to connect as deeply inside her as possible.
She broke away from his lips with a sudden gasp, body stilling for a moment. Yoochun took over, slamming up, into her. Little whimpers pulsed from her throat, and Yoochun wanted and needed to see her. She was probably biting her lower lip so tightly, face contorted, skin flush with need, shivering under his hands.
“God damn it let me touch you,” Yoochun shouted.
Her laugh was breathy and weak, her body slowing and then shivering. Wet splattered on his stomach and then Jaehwa collapsed on top of him, shivering and jerking from her orgasm. Her body tightened around his dick and Yoochun moaned, trying to move, but couldn’t in his position.
“Jaehwa, please.”
“Minute.”
“I want to hold you, Jae-love. Let me hold you.”
Jaehwa shifted only a little bit, but the blindfold disappeared and Yoochun blinked against the sudden light.
Jaehwa smiled at him and then kissed him while she untied the knots at his wrists. He immediately put his arms around her, rolled them over and shivered when he slipped from her body. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders.
“Are you okay?” he whispered, concerned.
Jaehwa nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. You’re not, though. You’re still nice and hard.” Her fingers traced over his slick skin, nails catching on the ridge of his cock.
“Oh god, you’re such a tease sometimes.”
“You love it.”
“I love you.”
Jaehwa’s smile was blinding, and Yoochun moaned, covered her mouth and set about spending the next two hours pleasuring and worshiping his girlfriend.
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Yoochun tried to concentrate on the heavy packet in front of him. His highlighter lay abandoned on the table top. His mind wandered to any subject that had nothing to do with the economic crisis and banking failures in the USA. He absently ran his hands over his wrists, the skin still tender from Jaehwa’s knots. Sadistic girl.
He sipped on his second latte of the afternoon, and nibbled on the deli sandwich Jaehwa had brought to him during a lull in customers. It was a very busy Friday, and Yoochun was worried that Jaehwa wasn’t going to have time to talk to her sister, if she showed up. He was definitely worried about the meeting, but the fact that the sister wanted to talk, kept him from getting too overprotective.
Jaehwa had almost worn jeans to work, but Yoochun protested and dug in her closet and chose her outfit. She didn’t look entirely happy, but dressed in the plaid skirt and pink button-up shirt. She wore a grey cardigan and opaque white tights. And her combat boots, of course.
Essay, Yoochun, he reminded himself, physically dragging his eyes away from his girlfriend, and went back to reading. He was shaking his head at the stupidity of the brokers in the US when a female voice said, “Park Yoochun-shi.”
He looked up quickly, into a face that resembled Jaehwa’s and smiled. “Um, hi.”
The woman swallowed and sat across from him, hands shaking from nerves. She was dressed in a simple black skirt, a coat buttoned all the way up, and sensible shoes. Her face was only slightly wrinkled, revealing her age, but she was still beautiful.
“Jaejoo-Jaehwa is busy and told me to come and sit with you. I’m Kim Yoonah.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Kim Yoonah-shi.”
“Onni!” Jaehwa called and they both looked over. She pointed to a cup on the Pick-Up counter.
Yoonah moved and Yoochun shook his head. “I’ll grab it for you.”
“Thank you.”
Yoochun rose, breathing deeply and met Jaehwa’s eyes. He raised his eyebrows in question and she looked apologetic.
“Be nice,” Jaehwa said as he grabbed the cup.
“I will. But hurry up.”
“I’m trying.”
Yoochun puckered his lips in an air kiss that made her giggle, and then took the sister’s coffee back to their table.
“Thank you, Yoochun-shi.”
Yoochun nodded and sat back down, nervously moving his papers.
“You’re studying?”
“Business. Jaehwa and I both graduate this spring.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“May I be honest with you, Yoochun-shi?”
“I would prefer that you would,” he replied and brought his cup to his lips for a sip of calming coffee.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be this attractive.”
Yoochun almost spit out his coffee. “What?” he said, coughing slightly.
Yoonah-shi smiled. “The other sisters said you were good looking, but this … you look like you could be a pop idol.”
Yoochun’s eyes widened in surprise. “And this means …”
“Nothing really. Just … you could be with any girl you want, and yet you’re-“
“I’m with the girl I want to be with,” Yoochun said firmly.
Yoonah nodded. “Forgive me. It’s just …”
“And if either of us could be a pop idol, it’s Jaehwa. She’s gorgeous and a fantastic musician.”
Yoonah’s cheeks went pink and she nodded. “He tried.”
“Huh?”
“He-he … she …” She sighed and continued, “Jaejoong tried. When he was fifteen, but they wouldn’t let him audition because … because ….”
Yoochun glanced over at his girlfriend and nodded. “I’m assuming because she went as herself instead of what her ID card called her.”
Yoonah nodded. “As soon as they saw her ID number and picture, they refused. Jaejoong would have been so good.”
“She is,” Yoochun said with emphasis. “She’s writing her own music and arranging songs.”
“I wish Jaejoong didn’t have to go through this, Yoochun-shi. It isn’t fair at all.”
Yoochun smiled and agreed. “But she is going through it, so all we can do is support her.”
“Will you tell me how you two met? None of the sisters could tell me.”
Yoochun took another sip of his coffee, thinking of what Jaehwa would want her sister to know. And then he decided to tell the truth. So he did. From the day they met to the day she finally agreed to go out with him and the day when she told him about being born a boy.
Yoochun stopped, seeing the perplexed look on her face. “A person is a person, Yoonah-shi. No matter what body they were born into. It’s the person that gives the body life. It’s the soul and the personality.”
“It must be so hard on you.”
“I won’t lie to you either. It’s been hard, but she’s worth it. She reminds me of that every day.”
“I worry about my brother, Yoochun-shi. I know, I know, he sees himself as just another sister. I know this, but it’s hard on us. You have to understand. Our family is so stubborn. Our father is the worst, and Jaejoong has taken after his father so easily.”
Yoochun pondered her for a minute, and then said, “Jaehwa is more of a part of your family than Jaejoong is.”
Yoonah looked at the table top. “I fear that Mother and Father will never forgive Jaejoong, nor ever see how beautiful Jaehwa is.”
“As long as someone in the family does, that’s all that matters.”
“I told my mother I was coming up to see Jaehwa, and she has not talked to me for three days.”
“The woman is just as stubborn as her husband it seems.”
“She can be.”
“So is Jaehwa.”
Yoonah smiled.
“Oh my god, it is about time,” Jaehwa said and slid in next to Yoochun. She stole his cup and made a face at how cold it was.
Yoochun smiled and put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek. “You didn’t bring me more.”
“I think I’m going to scream if I have to make another cup of coffee right now. Hi, Yoonah-onni.”
“Hi, Jaejoo-“
Jaehwa frowned.
Yoonah sputtered an apology. “Jaehwa. Hello, Jaehwa.”
“You should call me dongsaeng if it’s easier for you.”
“I’ll get it right.”
“Thanks, onni. I really appreciate that you’re trying to understand.”
Yoonah reached across the table and gripped Jaehwa’s hand. “I’m sorry; please forgive me.”
Jaehwa chewed on her lower lip, not saying anything.
“Your hands are soft.”
Jaehwa smiled. “Rose petal lotion infused with honey. It works really well, even though I wash my hands so much here. I can s-send you some.”
“I’d like that. Thank you, Jaehwa-dongsaeng.”
Jaehwa’s hand tightened and she nodded.
Yoochun shifted in the sudden silence between the sisters. Jaehwa kept her eyes on the table, and Yoonah frowned, eyes filling with tears. She reached over and cupped Jaehwa’s cheek. “You’re so beautiful. You have always been our beautiful little brother.”
Jaehwa flinched.
“I miss my younger brother,” Yoonah whispered. She blinked and tears fell. “We were all so excited when you were born. Father was so proud.”
Jaehwa swallowed and looked up. “I’m still here, onni, I am. Just … I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.”
“Don’t ever say that,” Yoonah said, slapping her cheek lightly for emphasis. “You’ve done so well for yourself, and you’re about to graduate college, and you live and support yourself. I’m proud of you, dongsaeng. I am. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Yes, we all miss Jaejoong and some may refuse to see you now, but you are so strong, and so stubborn. It isn’t fair for us to lose a brother like we did. But … it’s not fair to you for us to hold onto the past. No matter who you are. We love you. I love you. I know Mother and Father love you, but it will take time before they are willing to accept the loss of their only son.”
“Onni,” Jaehwa whispered, biting her lip.
Yoonah shook her head. “I’m sorry. Next time you visit, come and stay with me, okay? That way, if Yoochun comes with you, you can sleep in the same place without running out to the tree house.”
Jaehwa tried to smile. “Thanks, onni.”
“My train leaves at four,” she said, looking at her watch. “Come and visit soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll go flag down a cab for you,” Yoochun said.
Jaehwa rose and twisted her hands while Yoochun slid out of the booth. He left the awkward atmosphere and inhaled deeply. That meeting could have gone so much worse. He was happy that someone in Jaehwa’s family was going to try to understand her.
Yoonah exited the café and stood in front of him for a moment. “Thank you for taking care of my little brother, and yes, I know, I know. But thank you.”
Yoochun took a deep breath and bowed ninety degrees. “Thank you for giving Jaehwa the support she needs. I love her with all my heart and soul and I would do anything for her.”
Yoonah returned the bow and then climbed in the cab.
Yoochun inhaled deeply and went back to the café. Jaehwa was furiously scrubbing the tables. And she looked up at him long enough for Yoochun to see that her eyes were red. He stepped toward her, but she shook her head.
Yoochun nodded, knowing that if he went to her, she would start crying. He walked to the counter, and one of Jaehwa’s co-workers made him a fresh cup of coffee. He returned to his table, sent Junsu a text saying that Jaehwa needed him to cover the rest of her shift.
Junsu arrived in minutes and pretty much ordered Jaehwa to go away.
Yoochun thanked him and walked his quiet girlfriend home. She didn’t say anything and waited to cry until they were inside and cuddled on the couch. Yoochun held her tightly, rubbing her arm and kissing her head. When she calmed down enough, Yoochun went to the kitchen to brew some fruity tea.
Jaehwa went down the hall, and a moment later, soft Celtic music echoed through the apartment.
Her phone vibrated on the counter and Yoochun grabbed it. He smiled at the text message and walked to her room to show her.
Jaehwa was in the middle of changing, slipping into a pair of blue sweat pants. She wore a tank top and had let her hair down.
Yoochun handed her the phone, and she read the message and smiled, eyes bright.
Jaehwa Fighting! To thine own self be true!
Jaehwa sent a text back and then threw her arms around Yoochun and hugged him tightly.
“Thank you,” Jaehwa whispered, “for being there for me.”
“I will always be there for you.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Part 16: The Changes
Part 14: The Reassurance
Part 13: The Close Call
Part 12: The Meeting
Part 11: The Progress
Part 10: The Reset
Part 9: The Suuport | Part 8: The Situation | Part 7: The Promise | Part 6: The Conflict | Part 5: The Setback | Part 4: The Date | Part 3: The Wait | Part 2: The Talk | Part 1: The Secret
.
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaehwa (Changmin/Junsu, Yunho/Heechul, past Yunho/Jaehwa)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They aren't mine to play with.
Summary: Jaehwa is one of the prettiest girls Yoochun has ever met. Yoochun isn't sure how to react when he finds out that Jaehwa is a girl in her mind, but she has the body of a man. Does that change who she is?
Warnings: Transgender!Jaejoong
A/N: Before you start reading, I suggest you familiarize yourself with Gender Identity Disorder. I personally think calling it a disorder is bullshit. There is a lot of controversy over this topic.
If you have questions, or you want to discuss this topic with others, go here: http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/40030.html (you have to be a member of the community, go here to join http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/)
A/N Part 2: This fic is dedicated to willowwing because she has gone to great lengths to make her most recent fic realistic, and I hope that I have taken this topic and done the same. And she loves JaeChun, so it's a JaeChun.
Part 15: The Visit
There were some issues with the time frame in this story, but I fixed those ...... hopefully ....
Yoochun swam in the moment between awake and sleep, curled up and floating through pleasure trickling over his skin. Heat encased his lower body and twisted up his spine. Hands pressed flat on his chest. Yoochun moaned, eyes blinking open to nothing but blurry walls and black hair, and his strung-out mind supplied his girlfriend’s name and he reached for her, arms stopped and he tried again, and then again.
“Jaehwa,” Yoochun whimpered, twisting his wrists in the knots. His vision cleared and he looked up at his hands bound to the headboard.
“Revenge, I think they call it,” Jaehwa said.
Yoochun moaned, eyes shutting.
Jaehwa moved, hips rising, and that pleasurable ache returned full force and Yoochun gasped. He bent his knees, lifting his butt off the bed to meet Jaehwa’s down thrusts. Her tight ass pulsated around him.
“Hey, guys-Oh, shit, Jaehwa, lock your door.”
Yoochun glanced at the door, at Junsu leaning against the frame, smirking.
Jaehwa smiled at Yoochun and rolled her hips, and Yoochun moaned, eyes shutting again as Jaehwa teased him.
Junsu whistled. “Nice cock, Yoochun.”
“God, go away,” Yoochun muttered, gasping between words. “Fuck, Jae-love, speed up.”
Jaehwa giggled and fell forward, body bent in just the way for her to rub against Yoochun’s body. She moved forward and back, lips teasing Yoochun’s chin and neck.
Yoochun’s head swam. He tried to tug on the restraints again, wanted to hold his girlfriend as his orgasm built in his body. Whimpering, he lifted a leg to run it over her hip and she laughed again.
“Junsu, you can leave whenever you want to,” Jaehwa said with lips hovering over Yoochun’s.
Yoochun lifted his head to kiss her, but she moved away.
“So then I won’t leave,” Junsu said. “I like this show.”
“Please fuck off,” Jaehwa said sweetly, still not looking at him. “We’ll be done in an hour or so.”
“An hour!” Yoochun protested.
Jaehwa smirked at him. “I haven’t properly tortured my captive, so yes, an hour.”
“Oh god,” Yoochun moaned, going slack against the bed.
Junsu laughed. “Okay, okay. I’ll go call Changmin for some phone sex.”
“Isn’t he in class?”
“Then I’ll send him dirty text messages.”
Jaehwa laughed.
The door shut with a soft click, and Jaehwa leaned over Yoochun, kissing him deeply. “I love you.”
“I love you,” Yoochun managed to say back.
Jaehwa smiled. “I’m sure I can make you doubt that.”
“I don’t.”
Jaehwa laughed, covering her mouth for a moment. She reached for something, and then Yoochun’s vision went dark. Soft cloth caressed his face and tightened around his head.
“Jaehwa!”
“Shush, or the next thing I grab is going in your mouth.”
Yoochun moaned and tried to rely on sensations to figure out what the hell his girlfriend was going to do next. She shifted, his dick pushing against her inner walls, and she moaned, doing it again and again. Yoochun stayed inside her while she moved, never lifting, just rotating. He tried to concentrate on what she was saying to him, or if she was saying anything at all, but it was lost in the pleasure-filled haze of sex.
God, he needed to come.
Jaehwa spread her legs more, so she was sitting right on his lap, and it was impossible for Yoochun to do more than clench his thighs, dick pushing inside her, but not thrusting. With a whimper, Jaehwa rocked her hips back and forth, one hand clutching his chest. The other ran up and down his body, over his ribs and stomach, teasing touches, and she stopped, fingers spread around the lowest part of his stomach below his belly button.
“You must really love me,” Jaehwa whispered.
Yoochun nodded. “I do,” he said, voice heavy with lust. “God, I love you.”
Jaehwa was quiet and still for a moment, and then her hand moved lower. Without his vision, it took Yoochun a few seconds to realize that Jaehwa was touching herself. Stroking that annoyance between her legs.
Yoochun’s breath sped up, and then his chest hitched when Jaehwa pressed the firm erection against his stomach. Yes, it was small, but there was no mistaking the feel of that and balls smashed on his skin.
Yoochun whimpered her name.
“What?” Her voice was careful, unsure. And yet her hips moved, still teasing Yoochun beyond anything she’d done before.
“W-why … why, just …”
“You don’t like it,” Jaehwa whispered.
“Neither do you,” Yoochun said immediately. “Which is why I’m confused. And, god, god, fuck, stop moving your hips and let me talk coherently.”
Jaehwa chuckled, let herself go and leaned over him, kissing him softly. Their lips stayed together, their kiss fluctuating between sweet and heavy, slow and demanding. Kissing Jaehwa had always been such a treat, and now without being able to see it was even better. He had to follow her lead, follow her tongue and lips. She started moving again, knees sliding back to press against him in a way that was pleasurable for both of them. It wasn’t quite the same since Yoochun couldn’t hold her, but it was close enough.
This time she didn’t tease. She didn’t stop and she sped up, slamming herself back on his body. He had to bend his knees more, for their bodies to connect as deeply inside her as possible.
She broke away from his lips with a sudden gasp, body stilling for a moment. Yoochun took over, slamming up, into her. Little whimpers pulsed from her throat, and Yoochun wanted and needed to see her. She was probably biting her lower lip so tightly, face contorted, skin flush with need, shivering under his hands.
“God damn it let me touch you,” Yoochun shouted.
Her laugh was breathy and weak, her body slowing and then shivering. Wet splattered on his stomach and then Jaehwa collapsed on top of him, shivering and jerking from her orgasm. Her body tightened around his dick and Yoochun moaned, trying to move, but couldn’t in his position.
“Jaehwa, please.”
“Minute.”
“I want to hold you, Jae-love. Let me hold you.”
Jaehwa shifted only a little bit, but the blindfold disappeared and Yoochun blinked against the sudden light.
Jaehwa smiled at him and then kissed him while she untied the knots at his wrists. He immediately put his arms around her, rolled them over and shivered when he slipped from her body. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders.
“Are you okay?” he whispered, concerned.
Jaehwa nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. You’re not, though. You’re still nice and hard.” Her fingers traced over his slick skin, nails catching on the ridge of his cock.
“Oh god, you’re such a tease sometimes.”
“You love it.”
“I love you.”
Jaehwa’s smile was blinding, and Yoochun moaned, covered her mouth and set about spending the next two hours pleasuring and worshiping his girlfriend.
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Yoochun tried to concentrate on the heavy packet in front of him. His highlighter lay abandoned on the table top. His mind wandered to any subject that had nothing to do with the economic crisis and banking failures in the USA. He absently ran his hands over his wrists, the skin still tender from Jaehwa’s knots. Sadistic girl.
He sipped on his second latte of the afternoon, and nibbled on the deli sandwich Jaehwa had brought to him during a lull in customers. It was a very busy Friday, and Yoochun was worried that Jaehwa wasn’t going to have time to talk to her sister, if she showed up. He was definitely worried about the meeting, but the fact that the sister wanted to talk, kept him from getting too overprotective.
Jaehwa had almost worn jeans to work, but Yoochun protested and dug in her closet and chose her outfit. She didn’t look entirely happy, but dressed in the plaid skirt and pink button-up shirt. She wore a grey cardigan and opaque white tights. And her combat boots, of course.
Essay, Yoochun, he reminded himself, physically dragging his eyes away from his girlfriend, and went back to reading. He was shaking his head at the stupidity of the brokers in the US when a female voice said, “Park Yoochun-shi.”
He looked up quickly, into a face that resembled Jaehwa’s and smiled. “Um, hi.”
The woman swallowed and sat across from him, hands shaking from nerves. She was dressed in a simple black skirt, a coat buttoned all the way up, and sensible shoes. Her face was only slightly wrinkled, revealing her age, but she was still beautiful.
“Jaejoo-Jaehwa is busy and told me to come and sit with you. I’m Kim Yoonah.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Kim Yoonah-shi.”
“Onni!” Jaehwa called and they both looked over. She pointed to a cup on the Pick-Up counter.
Yoonah moved and Yoochun shook his head. “I’ll grab it for you.”
“Thank you.”
Yoochun rose, breathing deeply and met Jaehwa’s eyes. He raised his eyebrows in question and she looked apologetic.
“Be nice,” Jaehwa said as he grabbed the cup.
“I will. But hurry up.”
“I’m trying.”
Yoochun puckered his lips in an air kiss that made her giggle, and then took the sister’s coffee back to their table.
“Thank you, Yoochun-shi.”
Yoochun nodded and sat back down, nervously moving his papers.
“You’re studying?”
“Business. Jaehwa and I both graduate this spring.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“May I be honest with you, Yoochun-shi?”
“I would prefer that you would,” he replied and brought his cup to his lips for a sip of calming coffee.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be this attractive.”
Yoochun almost spit out his coffee. “What?” he said, coughing slightly.
Yoonah-shi smiled. “The other sisters said you were good looking, but this … you look like you could be a pop idol.”
Yoochun’s eyes widened in surprise. “And this means …”
“Nothing really. Just … you could be with any girl you want, and yet you’re-“
“I’m with the girl I want to be with,” Yoochun said firmly.
Yoonah nodded. “Forgive me. It’s just …”
“And if either of us could be a pop idol, it’s Jaehwa. She’s gorgeous and a fantastic musician.”
Yoonah’s cheeks went pink and she nodded. “He tried.”
“Huh?”
“He-he … she …” She sighed and continued, “Jaejoong tried. When he was fifteen, but they wouldn’t let him audition because … because ….”
Yoochun glanced over at his girlfriend and nodded. “I’m assuming because she went as herself instead of what her ID card called her.”
Yoonah nodded. “As soon as they saw her ID number and picture, they refused. Jaejoong would have been so good.”
“She is,” Yoochun said with emphasis. “She’s writing her own music and arranging songs.”
“I wish Jaejoong didn’t have to go through this, Yoochun-shi. It isn’t fair at all.”
Yoochun smiled and agreed. “But she is going through it, so all we can do is support her.”
“Will you tell me how you two met? None of the sisters could tell me.”
Yoochun took another sip of his coffee, thinking of what Jaehwa would want her sister to know. And then he decided to tell the truth. So he did. From the day they met to the day she finally agreed to go out with him and the day when she told him about being born a boy.
Yoochun stopped, seeing the perplexed look on her face. “A person is a person, Yoonah-shi. No matter what body they were born into. It’s the person that gives the body life. It’s the soul and the personality.”
“It must be so hard on you.”
“I won’t lie to you either. It’s been hard, but she’s worth it. She reminds me of that every day.”
“I worry about my brother, Yoochun-shi. I know, I know, he sees himself as just another sister. I know this, but it’s hard on us. You have to understand. Our family is so stubborn. Our father is the worst, and Jaejoong has taken after his father so easily.”
Yoochun pondered her for a minute, and then said, “Jaehwa is more of a part of your family than Jaejoong is.”
Yoonah looked at the table top. “I fear that Mother and Father will never forgive Jaejoong, nor ever see how beautiful Jaehwa is.”
“As long as someone in the family does, that’s all that matters.”
“I told my mother I was coming up to see Jaehwa, and she has not talked to me for three days.”
“The woman is just as stubborn as her husband it seems.”
“She can be.”
“So is Jaehwa.”
Yoonah smiled.
“Oh my god, it is about time,” Jaehwa said and slid in next to Yoochun. She stole his cup and made a face at how cold it was.
Yoochun smiled and put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek. “You didn’t bring me more.”
“I think I’m going to scream if I have to make another cup of coffee right now. Hi, Yoonah-onni.”
“Hi, Jaejoo-“
Jaehwa frowned.
Yoonah sputtered an apology. “Jaehwa. Hello, Jaehwa.”
“You should call me dongsaeng if it’s easier for you.”
“I’ll get it right.”
“Thanks, onni. I really appreciate that you’re trying to understand.”
Yoonah reached across the table and gripped Jaehwa’s hand. “I’m sorry; please forgive me.”
Jaehwa chewed on her lower lip, not saying anything.
“Your hands are soft.”
Jaehwa smiled. “Rose petal lotion infused with honey. It works really well, even though I wash my hands so much here. I can s-send you some.”
“I’d like that. Thank you, Jaehwa-dongsaeng.”
Jaehwa’s hand tightened and she nodded.
Yoochun shifted in the sudden silence between the sisters. Jaehwa kept her eyes on the table, and Yoonah frowned, eyes filling with tears. She reached over and cupped Jaehwa’s cheek. “You’re so beautiful. You have always been our beautiful little brother.”
Jaehwa flinched.
“I miss my younger brother,” Yoonah whispered. She blinked and tears fell. “We were all so excited when you were born. Father was so proud.”
Jaehwa swallowed and looked up. “I’m still here, onni, I am. Just … I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.”
“Don’t ever say that,” Yoonah said, slapping her cheek lightly for emphasis. “You’ve done so well for yourself, and you’re about to graduate college, and you live and support yourself. I’m proud of you, dongsaeng. I am. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Yes, we all miss Jaejoong and some may refuse to see you now, but you are so strong, and so stubborn. It isn’t fair for us to lose a brother like we did. But … it’s not fair to you for us to hold onto the past. No matter who you are. We love you. I love you. I know Mother and Father love you, but it will take time before they are willing to accept the loss of their only son.”
“Onni,” Jaehwa whispered, biting her lip.
Yoonah shook her head. “I’m sorry. Next time you visit, come and stay with me, okay? That way, if Yoochun comes with you, you can sleep in the same place without running out to the tree house.”
Jaehwa tried to smile. “Thanks, onni.”
“My train leaves at four,” she said, looking at her watch. “Come and visit soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll go flag down a cab for you,” Yoochun said.
Jaehwa rose and twisted her hands while Yoochun slid out of the booth. He left the awkward atmosphere and inhaled deeply. That meeting could have gone so much worse. He was happy that someone in Jaehwa’s family was going to try to understand her.
Yoonah exited the café and stood in front of him for a moment. “Thank you for taking care of my little brother, and yes, I know, I know. But thank you.”
Yoochun took a deep breath and bowed ninety degrees. “Thank you for giving Jaehwa the support she needs. I love her with all my heart and soul and I would do anything for her.”
Yoonah returned the bow and then climbed in the cab.
Yoochun inhaled deeply and went back to the café. Jaehwa was furiously scrubbing the tables. And she looked up at him long enough for Yoochun to see that her eyes were red. He stepped toward her, but she shook her head.
Yoochun nodded, knowing that if he went to her, she would start crying. He walked to the counter, and one of Jaehwa’s co-workers made him a fresh cup of coffee. He returned to his table, sent Junsu a text saying that Jaehwa needed him to cover the rest of her shift.
Junsu arrived in minutes and pretty much ordered Jaehwa to go away.
Yoochun thanked him and walked his quiet girlfriend home. She didn’t say anything and waited to cry until they were inside and cuddled on the couch. Yoochun held her tightly, rubbing her arm and kissing her head. When she calmed down enough, Yoochun went to the kitchen to brew some fruity tea.
Jaehwa went down the hall, and a moment later, soft Celtic music echoed through the apartment.
Her phone vibrated on the counter and Yoochun grabbed it. He smiled at the text message and walked to her room to show her.
Jaehwa was in the middle of changing, slipping into a pair of blue sweat pants. She wore a tank top and had let her hair down.
Yoochun handed her the phone, and she read the message and smiled, eyes bright.
Jaehwa Fighting! To thine own self be true!
Jaehwa sent a text back and then threw her arms around Yoochun and hugged him tightly.
“Thank you,” Jaehwa whispered, “for being there for me.”
“I will always be there for you.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Part 16: The Changes
Part 14: The Reassurance
Part 13: The Close Call
Part 12: The Meeting
Part 11: The Progress
Part 10: The Reset
Part 9: The Suuport | Part 8: The Situation | Part 7: The Promise | Part 6: The Conflict | Part 5: The Setback | Part 4: The Date | Part 3: The Wait | Part 2: The Talk | Part 1: The Secret
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