Carvings 2/2
Title: Carvings 2/2
Pairing: Yunho/Yoochun
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they'd never break up.
Summary: Yunho figured out that he needed Yoochun more than Yoochun needed him. But what about the others?
A/N: This is a continuation of a story I wrote a long time ago called "Carvings". To read Part 1 Click Here. This story is angsty and lawsuit related.
Part 2: Stitches
One year later …
Jung Yunho,
We are in the process of organizing a benefit concert for homeless children and those in need of medical care. It was pointed out to me that one of the members of DBSK was adopted, so we have decided that you should perform at this concert. Please contact our office as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Lee Sooman
Yunho read the e-mail again. And then again.
He wondered if the others received the same e-mail. He logged out of his account and into Yoochun’s. Nope. No e-mail. He went back to his.
“Chunnie!” he called.
Yoochun came into the room with a smile that made Yunho’s heartache. He’d almost missed out on a lifetime of those smiles. Yoochun wore jeans, slung low on his hips. A maroon sweater, sleeves pushed up. The scars on his arms contrasted sharply with his skin. Yunho still felt like he hadn’t done enough to make up for those.
Yoochun waved a hand in front of his face, and then kissed him. “What’s up?”
Yunho grabbed his hips and sat him in his lap, and then pointed to the computer screen. Automatically, Yunho’s fingers found the scars of the right wrist and traced his name over and over.
“What the …” Yoochun whispered.
“My thoughts exactly.”
Yoochun leaned away enough to meet his eyes. “Well?”
Yunho shrugged. “Don’t know. I guess I’ll call Junsu and see if he can get in contact with Jaejoong.”
“Don’t you have Jae’s number?”
Yunho looked away. Yes, he did. But he hadn’t called him for years. “Junsu’s closer to him.”
After a moment of silence, Yoochun smirked. “Well?”
Yunho sighed, but fished out his phone. He dialed Junsu’s number.
“Yunho hyung!” Junsu cried.
“Hey, Junsu.”
“How are you? Man, you haven’t called me for ages, and I’m sorry but I’ve just been so busy and is Yoochun doing alright? You guys still living together? You two are so lucky that you get to see each other all the time. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, Su. Hey, look. I received an e-mail from Lee Sooman. He wants Dong Bang Shin Ki to perform at a benefit concert.”
“Really? No way! That’s awesome.”
“You want to do it?”
“Are you kidding me? Of course, I do.”
“Can you call Jaejoong and tell him?”
“He probably already knows about it, but yeah, I will.”
“What about Changmin?”
Silence. “Well, that may be a problem.”
“What do you mean? We can’t perform without Changmin.”
“He’s in America.”
“Really? Doing what?”
“Just living. He decided to move about six months ago.”
“The e-mail says that the concert won’t be for another six months.”
“Maybe he can make it then. I have his e-mail. I’ll e-mail him right now.”
“Thanks, Su.” The conversation continued. Junsu talked about the newest show he was hosting, and about the songs he’d been composing. Then he asked about Yunho’s job as a part time dance instructor. Yunho hedged as much as he could when the conversation turned to Yoochun.
On his lap still, Yoochun frowned.
“Give me the phone,” he whispered.
Yunho sighed, but then said, “Yoochun’s right here if you want to talk to him.”
“Really? Put him on.”
Yunho handed the phone over and Yoochun’s smile morphed as he talked to Junsu for the first time in almost four years. Yunho watched himself trace the scars, not paying attention to the conversation. Yoochun lifted his wrist in invitation. Yunho grabbed it, brought it up to his mouth, and used his tongue to trace the design. Almost instantly he was hard. He wrapped an arm around Yoochun and pulled him closer. Yoochun’s eyes rolled back and he let out a tiny moan.
“No, I’m okay. A little sick,” Yoochun said in the phone.
Yunho scoffed; Yoochun called Yunho’s fascination with the scars a little sick.
“Okay. Call us back soon.” Yoochun ended the call and flung the phone on the desk. He pulled Yunho’s mouth away from his arm and kissed him.
“Love you,” he said.
“Need you,” Yunho replied, and there on his desk chair showed Yoochun just how much he needed him.
Four months later …
Yunho paced in the conference room. Yoochun sat quietly in a chair. They’d been arguing all morning. First because Yoochun insisted on wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He bent to Yunho’s demand to wear a long sleeved one, and then promptly pushed the sleeves up.
“I’m not ashamed of them. Are you?” Yoochun challenged.
Yunho hadn’t replied, but that had been enough to make Yoochun’s eyes narrow.
“I don’t care if they all know I need you,” Yoochun said. And then because Yoochun was pissed, he had said, “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not like Jaejoong is going to care about us.”
Yunho had winced and gone into another room.
Jaejoong.
He was nervous about seeing Jaejoong. Yunho had dressed more professionally, in black slacks and a button up blue shirt, but knew it wasn’t going to be as nice as whatever Jaejoong decided to wear.
And then they couldn’t decide what to say about their relationship. Yoochun didn’t care who knew, but as always, Yunho was hesitant about disclosing it.
Yoochun sighed. “Yunnie, I’m sorry. I know you’re stressed out.” He stood up, stopped Yunho’s pacing and smiled. “Here, look.” He pushed the sleeves down on his shirt. Yunho shook his head, and Yoochun kissed him.
They jerked apart when the door clicked open.
“Yoochun!” Junsu cried and flung himself at him. Yoochun caught him and held him tightly as Junsu peppered his cheek with kisses. Yoochun laughed and then set him on his feet.
“I’ve missed you,” Yoochun said, giving him a proper hug.
“Missed you, too.”
There was a knock on the door, a special knock of different beats that Yunho never thought he’d hear again, and then the door opened and Changmin, looking fantastic in brown slacks and a white t-shirt, entered.
“Hello,” he said in English, and then he was hugging Yoochun and Junsu, while Junsu squealed a welcome.
Finally, Yoochun looked back at Yunho. “You going to come and hug us, or stand there like a jerk?”
Yunho smiled and joined the hug. They sat around and talked. Changmin told them about his life in New York City and Junsu talked about his musical career. Yoochun stayed relatively quiet, smiling, answering simple questions directed at him. He tugged on the shirt sleeves, but never pushed them up.
Yunho checked his watch.
Jaejoong was late.
“He had a radio show this morning,” Junsu said, after the umpteenth time Yunho looked at his watch.
“He could have called,” Yunho muttered.
Junsu smirked. “Yeah, right. He’s in the middle of concert promotions right now.”
Almost an hour after their scheduled meeting time, Jaejoong flowed into the room. He looked damn good in dark blue, pinstriped slacks, shoes shined. The sleeves of his crisp, white button down shirt were perfectly folded to his elbows. His hair was deep red, long, swooped across his forehead. His skin was still perfect. He slung a jacket on the back of a chair, and lifted sunglasses off his face.
Yunho and Jaejoong stared at each other. Yunho knew his face wasn’t as impassive and cold as Jaejoong’s. They’d been best friends for so long, but Yunho couldn’t see past the mask anymore.
The last time they talked, Jaejoong had hit him.
“Well,” he demanded. “Are we doing this or what?”
“Hello to you, too,” Changmin muttered.
“I don’t have time for hellos,” Jaejoong said.
Yoochun scoffed.
“Finally crawled out of the hole Yunho keeps you in,” Jae said.
Yoochun’s eyes narrowed, but when he opened his mouth, Yunho said, “It’s not worth it, Yoochun.”
Jaejoong smirked. “Do as Daddy says.”
Yunho balled his fists and said, “If you’re going to do nothing but put us down, then no, we’re not going to do this. Yoochun and I haven’t signed anything yet.”
Jaejoong waved a hand at him. “Whatever, Yunho. I was told that we were doing it, so we’re doing it. I’ll have someone call you about a schedule for rehearsals.”
He turned away and headed for the door.
Yunho scowled and hurled himself at Jaejoong’s back. He grabbed that white shirt, spun him around and shoved him up against the door. “Look, you bastard, you have no right to treat us this way. Yes, you’re still famous and you’re still selling records, but the rest of us have our lives, too.”
“Such wonderful lives, I bet,” Jaejoong said.
“You ditched us all, forced us apart in an act of selfish greed and then screwed even your two best friends over.”
“There is no us.”
“There is always us.”
“I don’t know what fantasy land you’re still living in, Yunho,” he said, “but the last time I checked, DBSK didn’t exist.”
“DBSK always exists,” Yunho said and let his fingers touch a spot on Jaejoong’s chest, the tattoo hidden by his shirt.
Jaejoong tried to push Yunho away, but Yunho slammed him back against the door.
“I’m not done talking yet. You abandoned us. Yes, it was mine and Changmin’s fault that we did not join the lawsuit against SM, but now I’m glad I didn’t. You screwed even Junsu and Yoochun over, started making your own singles and the three of you broke apart just as painfully as the five of us did. And some of us just didn’t take that well.”
“It’s not my fault I succeeded.”
“No, it’s not. And believe me when I say that all four of us are proud of you and happy for you. We all own every one of your CDs, and I can say that I’ve been to two of your concerts, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you you’re different than you were and-”
“You’re implying that you’re the same?”
Yunho shook his head. “No, but I never forgot what was important.”
Yoochun was going throw that lie in his face later, Yunho knew, but for now, it served its purpose.
“Out of the five of us, who do you think took it the hardest?” Yunho asked, lowering his voice.
“Took what the hardest?”
“Your betrayal.”
“That’s harsh.”
“That’s the truth. At least how we see it. Answer the question.”
Jaejoong didn’t say anything, but he looked over Yunho’s shoulder.
“You never called, you never texted, you never talked to him. Ever. It was like you took your soul mate and threw him off a cliff. Well, your four best friends. Changmin was able to crawl back up, and you threw Junsu a lifeline when you needed him. But what about Yoochun?”
“Yunho,” Yoochun said carefully.
“No, Yoochun, if he wants to do this, then he has to know, because there is no way that I’m going on stage with him and acting like I’m happy. I won’t lie to people, and that’s what we’d have to do. Smile and joke around and be DBSK again, for just a night. And I don’t want to do that. I want my friend back.”
“Not really your place to tell, though, now is it?” Yoochun said.
“Isn’t it? Come here.”
Yoochun sighed but rose and walked over to them. Yunho stepped away from Jaejoong. He expected the other man to bolt, but Jaejoong stayed put, eyes on Yoochun. Yunho grabbed Yoochun’s left arm and pushed the sleeve up. He held Yoochun’s hand and stretched his arm out.
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to get a phone call, and all you hear is a very soft help? Do you know what it’s like to have your stomach fall out of your body as you realize that he’s done it again? Tried again? And do you know what it’s like to rush over to his place only to find him half conscious in a pool of blood?
Jae’s eyes were wide, stuck to the scars on Yoochun’s arm.
“I can’t speak for Changmin or Junsu, but when I say that there is always us, this is what I mean. I don’t mean DBSK because pop groups come and go, but us, the five of us are forever, and no matter how much of a bastard you are, or continue to be, I want you to know that you’ll always be part of us. That no matter how low you fall or how hard life becomes, I will always, always, always be there.”
Yunho finally turned away from Jae, and wrapped his arms about Yoochun’s body, buried his face against his shoulder. It was always the other way around, always Yoochun who needed to be held. He felt, rather than saw, Yoochun pull the other sleeve up. Heard Jaejoong gasp, and then Yoochun’s arms were around him, leading him away, to a corner, where he pinned him to the wall. With a finger under his chin, Yoochun made him look at him.
“You’re so cute,” he said with a smile and then kissed him softly.
There was a collective gasp from the other three, but Yunho ignored them and melted into the kiss, opening his mouth for Yoochun’s questing tongue.
“Love you,” Yunho said.
Yoochun smiled widely at the switch in lines. “Need you,” he replied.
Yoochun was suddenly ripped from him, and then hugged tightly by Jaejoong. Yoochun stood for a moment, arms at his side, and then very slowly hugged him back. Jaejoong’s back was shaking like he was crying. The difference between them was startling. They had always been the same size, the same build, but now Yoochun was smaller, slimmer shoulders, thinner arms.
“So, hyung,” Changmin said, “how long have you and Yoochun been …”
“Together?” Yunho replied.
Changmin nodded.
“Five years, off and on. On now, and on forever, I hope.”
“Really?” Junsu said. “Five years?”
“Yeah. He needed me, but it took me a long time to realize how much I needed him.”
Jae let go of Yoochun, but took his hand. He traced the lines spelling Yunho’s name. “You’re not still …”
“No. Not for over a year.”
“Why did you … why …”
Yoochun smiled. Yunho asked him that question all the time. And Yoochun gave Jaejoong the same answer, “Because it hurt less.”
Jaejoong frowned, but then a sort of realization came to his eyes, and he hugged Yoochun again, kissed his forehead. He turned to Yunho. His eyes were red. “Forgive me?” he whispered.
“Always,” Yunho replied and Jae pulled him into their hug. After a moment, Junsu and Changmin joined.
“So do we do this?” Junsu asked.
All eyes went to Yunho, and then Jae actually smiled. “Still turning to you for the decisions.”
“It’s not up to me. It’s up to all of us.”
“I want to,” Junsu said.
“I think the fact that I flew back here is enough of an answer,” Changmin said.
Yunho looked at Yoochun. He knew by his eyes that he wanted to, and the smile widened and he nodded.
“Well?” Yunho said, turning eyes to Jaejoong.
Jae nodded. “Yeah.”
“Are you saying yes because of the publicity, or because you really want to?”
“I really want to,” he said.
“Then let’s do it,” Yunho said.
All four of them felt Jaejoong’s phone vibrate. “Fuck,” he muttered and pulled away from the group hug.
“What?” he demanded into the phone. “I’m fully aware of that, thank you … no … because I’m not … look, something way more important came up and I’m cancelling all of my meetings today … Fine, don’t cancel them, but I’m not showing up. … Don’t care. Call me if someone is dying.”
He disconnected and looked back to the others. “Dinner?” he said. “My treat.”
“Trying to buy our love back?” Yunho asked with a smile.
Jae shrugged. “I’m sure that I missed out on paying for a lot of my share of dinners for you four in the last six years.”
“Dinner it is, then,” Junsu said and headed for the door. Changmin followed. Yoochun squeezed Yunho’s hand, and then let go. He went to Changmin, and to all of their surprise, Changmin held his hand and kissed his cheek.
Yunho smiled.
“Yunho,” Jae started, but then stopped and Yunho shook his head.
“Don’t, Jae. We have plenty of time to talk of uncomfortable things, right?”
“Right, but well, Yoochun, he’s doing okay?”
“Yeah, he’s alright. He’s still writing music.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and he’s still as good as he was before. Maybe you can come over and he’ll play for you.”
“I’d like that.”
Jae held out his hand. Yunho looked at it, back at Jae’s eyes, and then took it. They followed the other three out the door.
Part 1: Scratches
.
Pairing: Yunho/Yoochun
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they'd never break up.
Summary: Yunho figured out that he needed Yoochun more than Yoochun needed him. But what about the others?
A/N: This is a continuation of a story I wrote a long time ago called "Carvings". To read Part 1 Click Here. This story is angsty and lawsuit related.
Part 2: Stitches
One year later …
Jung Yunho,
We are in the process of organizing a benefit concert for homeless children and those in need of medical care. It was pointed out to me that one of the members of DBSK was adopted, so we have decided that you should perform at this concert. Please contact our office as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Lee Sooman
Yunho read the e-mail again. And then again.
He wondered if the others received the same e-mail. He logged out of his account and into Yoochun’s. Nope. No e-mail. He went back to his.
“Chunnie!” he called.
Yoochun came into the room with a smile that made Yunho’s heartache. He’d almost missed out on a lifetime of those smiles. Yoochun wore jeans, slung low on his hips. A maroon sweater, sleeves pushed up. The scars on his arms contrasted sharply with his skin. Yunho still felt like he hadn’t done enough to make up for those.
Yoochun waved a hand in front of his face, and then kissed him. “What’s up?”
Yunho grabbed his hips and sat him in his lap, and then pointed to the computer screen. Automatically, Yunho’s fingers found the scars of the right wrist and traced his name over and over.
“What the …” Yoochun whispered.
“My thoughts exactly.”
Yoochun leaned away enough to meet his eyes. “Well?”
Yunho shrugged. “Don’t know. I guess I’ll call Junsu and see if he can get in contact with Jaejoong.”
“Don’t you have Jae’s number?”
Yunho looked away. Yes, he did. But he hadn’t called him for years. “Junsu’s closer to him.”
After a moment of silence, Yoochun smirked. “Well?”
Yunho sighed, but fished out his phone. He dialed Junsu’s number.
“Yunho hyung!” Junsu cried.
“Hey, Junsu.”
“How are you? Man, you haven’t called me for ages, and I’m sorry but I’ve just been so busy and is Yoochun doing alright? You guys still living together? You two are so lucky that you get to see each other all the time. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, Su. Hey, look. I received an e-mail from Lee Sooman. He wants Dong Bang Shin Ki to perform at a benefit concert.”
“Really? No way! That’s awesome.”
“You want to do it?”
“Are you kidding me? Of course, I do.”
“Can you call Jaejoong and tell him?”
“He probably already knows about it, but yeah, I will.”
“What about Changmin?”
Silence. “Well, that may be a problem.”
“What do you mean? We can’t perform without Changmin.”
“He’s in America.”
“Really? Doing what?”
“Just living. He decided to move about six months ago.”
“The e-mail says that the concert won’t be for another six months.”
“Maybe he can make it then. I have his e-mail. I’ll e-mail him right now.”
“Thanks, Su.” The conversation continued. Junsu talked about the newest show he was hosting, and about the songs he’d been composing. Then he asked about Yunho’s job as a part time dance instructor. Yunho hedged as much as he could when the conversation turned to Yoochun.
On his lap still, Yoochun frowned.
“Give me the phone,” he whispered.
Yunho sighed, but then said, “Yoochun’s right here if you want to talk to him.”
“Really? Put him on.”
Yunho handed the phone over and Yoochun’s smile morphed as he talked to Junsu for the first time in almost four years. Yunho watched himself trace the scars, not paying attention to the conversation. Yoochun lifted his wrist in invitation. Yunho grabbed it, brought it up to his mouth, and used his tongue to trace the design. Almost instantly he was hard. He wrapped an arm around Yoochun and pulled him closer. Yoochun’s eyes rolled back and he let out a tiny moan.
“No, I’m okay. A little sick,” Yoochun said in the phone.
Yunho scoffed; Yoochun called Yunho’s fascination with the scars a little sick.
“Okay. Call us back soon.” Yoochun ended the call and flung the phone on the desk. He pulled Yunho’s mouth away from his arm and kissed him.
“Love you,” he said.
“Need you,” Yunho replied, and there on his desk chair showed Yoochun just how much he needed him.
Four months later …
Yunho paced in the conference room. Yoochun sat quietly in a chair. They’d been arguing all morning. First because Yoochun insisted on wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He bent to Yunho’s demand to wear a long sleeved one, and then promptly pushed the sleeves up.
“I’m not ashamed of them. Are you?” Yoochun challenged.
Yunho hadn’t replied, but that had been enough to make Yoochun’s eyes narrow.
“I don’t care if they all know I need you,” Yoochun said. And then because Yoochun was pissed, he had said, “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not like Jaejoong is going to care about us.”
Yunho had winced and gone into another room.
Jaejoong.
He was nervous about seeing Jaejoong. Yunho had dressed more professionally, in black slacks and a button up blue shirt, but knew it wasn’t going to be as nice as whatever Jaejoong decided to wear.
And then they couldn’t decide what to say about their relationship. Yoochun didn’t care who knew, but as always, Yunho was hesitant about disclosing it.
Yoochun sighed. “Yunnie, I’m sorry. I know you’re stressed out.” He stood up, stopped Yunho’s pacing and smiled. “Here, look.” He pushed the sleeves down on his shirt. Yunho shook his head, and Yoochun kissed him.
They jerked apart when the door clicked open.
“Yoochun!” Junsu cried and flung himself at him. Yoochun caught him and held him tightly as Junsu peppered his cheek with kisses. Yoochun laughed and then set him on his feet.
“I’ve missed you,” Yoochun said, giving him a proper hug.
“Missed you, too.”
There was a knock on the door, a special knock of different beats that Yunho never thought he’d hear again, and then the door opened and Changmin, looking fantastic in brown slacks and a white t-shirt, entered.
“Hello,” he said in English, and then he was hugging Yoochun and Junsu, while Junsu squealed a welcome.
Finally, Yoochun looked back at Yunho. “You going to come and hug us, or stand there like a jerk?”
Yunho smiled and joined the hug. They sat around and talked. Changmin told them about his life in New York City and Junsu talked about his musical career. Yoochun stayed relatively quiet, smiling, answering simple questions directed at him. He tugged on the shirt sleeves, but never pushed them up.
Yunho checked his watch.
Jaejoong was late.
“He had a radio show this morning,” Junsu said, after the umpteenth time Yunho looked at his watch.
“He could have called,” Yunho muttered.
Junsu smirked. “Yeah, right. He’s in the middle of concert promotions right now.”
Almost an hour after their scheduled meeting time, Jaejoong flowed into the room. He looked damn good in dark blue, pinstriped slacks, shoes shined. The sleeves of his crisp, white button down shirt were perfectly folded to his elbows. His hair was deep red, long, swooped across his forehead. His skin was still perfect. He slung a jacket on the back of a chair, and lifted sunglasses off his face.
Yunho and Jaejoong stared at each other. Yunho knew his face wasn’t as impassive and cold as Jaejoong’s. They’d been best friends for so long, but Yunho couldn’t see past the mask anymore.
The last time they talked, Jaejoong had hit him.
“Well,” he demanded. “Are we doing this or what?”
“Hello to you, too,” Changmin muttered.
“I don’t have time for hellos,” Jaejoong said.
Yoochun scoffed.
“Finally crawled out of the hole Yunho keeps you in,” Jae said.
Yoochun’s eyes narrowed, but when he opened his mouth, Yunho said, “It’s not worth it, Yoochun.”
Jaejoong smirked. “Do as Daddy says.”
Yunho balled his fists and said, “If you’re going to do nothing but put us down, then no, we’re not going to do this. Yoochun and I haven’t signed anything yet.”
Jaejoong waved a hand at him. “Whatever, Yunho. I was told that we were doing it, so we’re doing it. I’ll have someone call you about a schedule for rehearsals.”
He turned away and headed for the door.
Yunho scowled and hurled himself at Jaejoong’s back. He grabbed that white shirt, spun him around and shoved him up against the door. “Look, you bastard, you have no right to treat us this way. Yes, you’re still famous and you’re still selling records, but the rest of us have our lives, too.”
“Such wonderful lives, I bet,” Jaejoong said.
“You ditched us all, forced us apart in an act of selfish greed and then screwed even your two best friends over.”
“There is no us.”
“There is always us.”
“I don’t know what fantasy land you’re still living in, Yunho,” he said, “but the last time I checked, DBSK didn’t exist.”
“DBSK always exists,” Yunho said and let his fingers touch a spot on Jaejoong’s chest, the tattoo hidden by his shirt.
Jaejoong tried to push Yunho away, but Yunho slammed him back against the door.
“I’m not done talking yet. You abandoned us. Yes, it was mine and Changmin’s fault that we did not join the lawsuit against SM, but now I’m glad I didn’t. You screwed even Junsu and Yoochun over, started making your own singles and the three of you broke apart just as painfully as the five of us did. And some of us just didn’t take that well.”
“It’s not my fault I succeeded.”
“No, it’s not. And believe me when I say that all four of us are proud of you and happy for you. We all own every one of your CDs, and I can say that I’ve been to two of your concerts, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you you’re different than you were and-”
“You’re implying that you’re the same?”
Yunho shook his head. “No, but I never forgot what was important.”
Yoochun was going throw that lie in his face later, Yunho knew, but for now, it served its purpose.
“Out of the five of us, who do you think took it the hardest?” Yunho asked, lowering his voice.
“Took what the hardest?”
“Your betrayal.”
“That’s harsh.”
“That’s the truth. At least how we see it. Answer the question.”
Jaejoong didn’t say anything, but he looked over Yunho’s shoulder.
“You never called, you never texted, you never talked to him. Ever. It was like you took your soul mate and threw him off a cliff. Well, your four best friends. Changmin was able to crawl back up, and you threw Junsu a lifeline when you needed him. But what about Yoochun?”
“Yunho,” Yoochun said carefully.
“No, Yoochun, if he wants to do this, then he has to know, because there is no way that I’m going on stage with him and acting like I’m happy. I won’t lie to people, and that’s what we’d have to do. Smile and joke around and be DBSK again, for just a night. And I don’t want to do that. I want my friend back.”
“Not really your place to tell, though, now is it?” Yoochun said.
“Isn’t it? Come here.”
Yoochun sighed but rose and walked over to them. Yunho stepped away from Jaejoong. He expected the other man to bolt, but Jaejoong stayed put, eyes on Yoochun. Yunho grabbed Yoochun’s left arm and pushed the sleeve up. He held Yoochun’s hand and stretched his arm out.
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to get a phone call, and all you hear is a very soft help? Do you know what it’s like to have your stomach fall out of your body as you realize that he’s done it again? Tried again? And do you know what it’s like to rush over to his place only to find him half conscious in a pool of blood?
Jae’s eyes were wide, stuck to the scars on Yoochun’s arm.
“I can’t speak for Changmin or Junsu, but when I say that there is always us, this is what I mean. I don’t mean DBSK because pop groups come and go, but us, the five of us are forever, and no matter how much of a bastard you are, or continue to be, I want you to know that you’ll always be part of us. That no matter how low you fall or how hard life becomes, I will always, always, always be there.”
Yunho finally turned away from Jae, and wrapped his arms about Yoochun’s body, buried his face against his shoulder. It was always the other way around, always Yoochun who needed to be held. He felt, rather than saw, Yoochun pull the other sleeve up. Heard Jaejoong gasp, and then Yoochun’s arms were around him, leading him away, to a corner, where he pinned him to the wall. With a finger under his chin, Yoochun made him look at him.
“You’re so cute,” he said with a smile and then kissed him softly.
There was a collective gasp from the other three, but Yunho ignored them and melted into the kiss, opening his mouth for Yoochun’s questing tongue.
“Love you,” Yunho said.
Yoochun smiled widely at the switch in lines. “Need you,” he replied.
Yoochun was suddenly ripped from him, and then hugged tightly by Jaejoong. Yoochun stood for a moment, arms at his side, and then very slowly hugged him back. Jaejoong’s back was shaking like he was crying. The difference between them was startling. They had always been the same size, the same build, but now Yoochun was smaller, slimmer shoulders, thinner arms.
“So, hyung,” Changmin said, “how long have you and Yoochun been …”
“Together?” Yunho replied.
Changmin nodded.
“Five years, off and on. On now, and on forever, I hope.”
“Really?” Junsu said. “Five years?”
“Yeah. He needed me, but it took me a long time to realize how much I needed him.”
Jae let go of Yoochun, but took his hand. He traced the lines spelling Yunho’s name. “You’re not still …”
“No. Not for over a year.”
“Why did you … why …”
Yoochun smiled. Yunho asked him that question all the time. And Yoochun gave Jaejoong the same answer, “Because it hurt less.”
Jaejoong frowned, but then a sort of realization came to his eyes, and he hugged Yoochun again, kissed his forehead. He turned to Yunho. His eyes were red. “Forgive me?” he whispered.
“Always,” Yunho replied and Jae pulled him into their hug. After a moment, Junsu and Changmin joined.
“So do we do this?” Junsu asked.
All eyes went to Yunho, and then Jae actually smiled. “Still turning to you for the decisions.”
“It’s not up to me. It’s up to all of us.”
“I want to,” Junsu said.
“I think the fact that I flew back here is enough of an answer,” Changmin said.
Yunho looked at Yoochun. He knew by his eyes that he wanted to, and the smile widened and he nodded.
“Well?” Yunho said, turning eyes to Jaejoong.
Jae nodded. “Yeah.”
“Are you saying yes because of the publicity, or because you really want to?”
“I really want to,” he said.
“Then let’s do it,” Yunho said.
All four of them felt Jaejoong’s phone vibrate. “Fuck,” he muttered and pulled away from the group hug.
“What?” he demanded into the phone. “I’m fully aware of that, thank you … no … because I’m not … look, something way more important came up and I’m cancelling all of my meetings today … Fine, don’t cancel them, but I’m not showing up. … Don’t care. Call me if someone is dying.”
He disconnected and looked back to the others. “Dinner?” he said. “My treat.”
“Trying to buy our love back?” Yunho asked with a smile.
Jae shrugged. “I’m sure that I missed out on paying for a lot of my share of dinners for you four in the last six years.”
“Dinner it is, then,” Junsu said and headed for the door. Changmin followed. Yoochun squeezed Yunho’s hand, and then let go. He went to Changmin, and to all of their surprise, Changmin held his hand and kissed his cheek.
Yunho smiled.
“Yunho,” Jae started, but then stopped and Yunho shook his head.
“Don’t, Jae. We have plenty of time to talk of uncomfortable things, right?”
“Right, but well, Yoochun, he’s doing okay?”
“Yeah, he’s alright. He’s still writing music.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and he’s still as good as he was before. Maybe you can come over and he’ll play for you.”
“I’d like that.”
Jae held out his hand. Yunho looked at it, back at Jae’s eyes, and then took it. They followed the other three out the door.
Part 1: Scratches
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