Pick Me Up - 4/5
Title: Pick Me Up 4/5
Rating: R
Paring: Jaejoong/Yoochun
Disclaimer: If they were mine ... ... sorry, lost my train of thought. Imagining what I would do if they were mine. On to the story!
Word Count: 3958
YOOCHUN
As the elevator doors closed, so did Yoochun’s throat. Damn it! He would not cry! He’d barely known Jae for a day and he refused to admit that in that day Jae had become important to him.
He swallowed. Before the tears fell, the elevator stopped. Yoochun stepped into the lobby, and headed toward the doors.
“Good morning, Park Yoochun-shi,” the hotel manager said.
Yoochun returned the greeting and the bow.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No, thank you. Just going to take a tour of the city.”
The manager bowed again. “We were not aware that you were leaving. Let me call a car to-”
“Um, no.” Yoochun shut his eyes in annoyance and suddenly knew what Jae meant about getting things that he didn’t necessarily want. “I’ll walk. Thank you.”
“Of course, Yoochun-shi.” He reached into his jacket pocket. “If you need anything, or you need a driver for any reason, you call me, okay?”
Yoochun took the offered card and stuck it in his back pocket. “Yes, I will. Thank you.”
He had to go through the same thing with the valet.
When he finally did get away from the hotel, he stopped on the corner, jostled by all the people. He had no where to go. So he walked.
The tears fell unrestrained.
Your name isn’t Micky.
Being Micky was all he knew. Yoochun stayed locked away, but with Jae, Jae had freed him for a moment. He had laughed, he had smiled.
And he hadn’t had sex in three days. How weird was that? The last time he’d had a dry spell was when he caught the flu for four days.
The press of Jae’s body mocked him.
His stomach grumbled. God, he should have gotten something to eat before he left. All he had in his pockets was a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
Yoochun lit a cigarette.
Jae’s cigarette.
When he left, he just knew he had to get away. Running again. Running from Kim Jaejoong. A lot of people that were going to tell him he was being stupid. And maybe he was, but …
Why had he left?
I won’t keep you here, but just don’t go back.
Yoochun forced himself to think about Junsu. About the Junsu he’d first met when he was a lonely kid on the city streets, running from an abusive uncle. A stranger, older than him, giving him food and money and a place to stay. The first kiss came two weeks later. The first blow job and fucking not long after that. And then the first beating. Sex and pain became one in the same and then within a year, Junsu was selling him to other people.
For a long time, it was better than what he left at his uncle’s.
Always running. He was always running.
But he had loved Junsu. Loved him with all of his heart and everything he did was for Junsu. A part of him would always crave Junsu’s smiles and words of encouragement and praise. And sometimes he needed the discipline, the correction, the whipping.
He shivered as a memory of a whip ghosted along his back. He would never forget that, the anticipation and pain and begging.
Sometimes, he was going to need it again.
Yoochun finally stopped walking and leaned against a wall. Eyes shut. Breath harsh. He forced himself to remember every beating, every stripe of pain, every “take it and like it” that fell from Junsu’s lips.
This last beating wasn’t the worst he’d gotten. But it was Junsu’s voice, still breathless from sex, saying “I love you, Micky.” Junsu had stopped calling him Yoochun so many years ago. He wasn’t Yoochun to the man. Just something to beat and fuck.
And Junsu had only tied him up when he felt like it. That night hadn’t been one of those nights, so body shaking, when Junsu got up to shower, Yoochun dressed and left.
He lit another cigarette. This pack wasn’t going to last him long. Pushing away from the wall, he almost collided with other pedestrians. He blended back in to the flow of people.
Again he thought of his dongsaengs. They had all been out on jobs that night. It was no wonder that he hadn’t even thought of them when he left. But he thought of them now. This time not with pain but with determination. Jae was right about that. Going back to Busan would only be a temporary fix. They’d all still be under Junsu’s power, all still broke, broken and loved only by each other.
What was love anyway?
Did he really love those boys, or was it more of a need to protect them, watch over them? But wasn’t that part of love?
For the first time in a long time Yoochun thought of his parents. Was that love? He remembered them fighting. Cuddling with his brother, stomachs growling, as they argued and argued, but then smiled and hugged and kissed.
He hadn’t called his mom in years. Damn it. He should have while he was with Jae. Jae would have let him make an international call.
His parents probably thought he was dead.
He wondered if his father cared. He had been the disappointment. His brother had stayed in America, he’d been sent back to Korea.
If he hadn’t been a disappointment before, he was now. There’s no way that he’d ever tell his mother about his current career.
Without anything or anyone behind you, you’ll just end up the same way but in a different city.
Jae had said he hated it when he was right, and Yoochun understood. He hated it when Jae was right, and so far, Jae was always right.
Yoochun smiled. Except for thinking that Yoochun would steal his stuff.
In Busan, Yoochun would have. In Busan, if he had access to all of that and hadn’t brought it back to Junsu, Junsu would have taken it out of his blood.
True, what Junsu didn’t know, didn’t hurt him. He had a lot of chances to rob Lee Donghae, but never had. That man genuinely cared about him, and Yoochun had thought of going to him first when he ran away.
But Donghae had a wife and a little boy, and how would that be to have your husband’s male prostitute show up on your door asking for shelter from a psychopath.
And then to have your savior be the most gorgeous man in Korea driving a blue sports car. It was all so surreal.
Just because it feels surreal, doesn’t mean it’s not real.
Yoochun found himself in a city park. He picked a spot of grass with no trees above him and lay down. The autumn air warmed as the time slipped by. Yoochun may have slept, he may not have, nothing made sense in his mind.
He smoked cigarettes.
I’ll help you if you’ll let me.
Your name is not Micky.
Everyone deserves a second chance.
JAEJOONG
Jae sat at the conference table, Yunho across from him. Both surrounded by a team of lawyers. They never broke eye contact.
Jae listened, but only enough to make sure his lawyer said what he was supposed to say and not inadvertently hand half his company over to the treacherous ex-partner.
Life with Yunho had been surreal. A man who loved him, a gorgeous man who loved him, and it was so easy to fall in love. To drop his walls and let him in to his home and business and heart. Coming home to him in bed with a woman had been even more surreal.
Yunho’s lawyers refused to budge from their terms.
Jae’s lawyer leaned in, whispered something about making negotiations here. Jae gave him a look that said are you fucking kidding me?
The truth was that in his usual state of mind, he could have negotiated and reduced their demands and had them leaving thinking they’d won, but Jae was not in his usual state of mind.
Yoochun was his state of mind.
After the lawyers exchanged a few more words, Jae stood up.
“See you in court,” he said with a grin to Yunho.
“Any chance I can talk to you alone?” Yunho asked, returning the smile.
Jae didn’t reply, but when his lawyer leaned in and said it wasn’t a good idea, a streak of rebellion ran through him. Yeah, it wasn’t a good idea. He held up a hand.
“You have five minutes.”
They stared at each even after the lawyers had shuffled out. He hadn’t been alone with Yunho in a very long time. That day, he told Yunho he had a half hour to get his shit and get the fuck out, and then any and all doors were closed to him. The hardest part was that Yunho led and controlled about ten of his companies. Everything was thrown on hiatus. It was after security had to physically remove Yunho from a building that Jae received the lawsuit papers.
He hadn’t been all that surprised.
“You’re wasting your time,” Jae noted with a look at his watch.
“Can’t I enjoy looking at you?” Yunho asked.
“Pick up a magazine.”
“I still miss you sometimes.”
Jae scoffed.
“No, I mean it.” Yunho stood up and walked around the table as he talked. “You were always good to me, and I took advantage of that. Of course, I knew I was doing it because honestly, Jae, outside of the bedroom, I never loved you.”
“So I noticed.”
Yunho stopped right next to him, leaning against the table, arms crossed. “You’re damn good at sucking cock. Is that why your new boyfriend is with you?”
“Unless you’re prepared to drop this ridiculous claim on my businesses for one of my fantastic blowjobs, I suggest you change the subject.”
“Still easy, huh? Maybe when this is over I can give you a pity fuck or something because I feel bad for taking all your companies.”
Jae rolled his eyes. “Please.”
“You do know that we’ll file a motion to keep personal lives out of the courtroom.”
“I don’t need your infidelity to win.”
“We should just settle this here.”
“Then lower your demands.”
“I never did in the bedroom, why should I now?”
“Do you honestly feel like you deserve a quarter of my company and holdings?”
“And investments. Yes, I do. I helped you gain them.”
“You were my partner for less than a year. I’ve been doing this since I was eighteen.”
“And in that year, your company grew by a quarter.”
Jae rolled his eyes. “Save what money you have.”
When Jae turned around to end the conversation, Yunho grabbed his arm and pulled their bodies together. “Things were good between us. Hot, intense.”
Yeah, they had been. They had been crazy intense, and the best sex Jae had ever had in his life.
Yunho’s hands clutched his ass and he thrust against Jae. Yunho was hard and for once, Jae was glad that disgusted him.
“You miss us,” Yunho said.
“You better let me go or you’re going to have harassment charges to fight off.”
Yunho laughed, but released him. “I love it when you think you’re in control of something.”
Jae left the room. His lawyers filed along behind him. When his head lawyer started talking, Jae held up a hand. “Send me an e-mail.”
Once in his limo, he opened the small fridge, took out a tiny bottle of something and downed it.
“Don’t go back to the hotel yet,” he told the driver.
“Where to then?”
“No where. Just drive around the city for awhile.”
“Yes, sir.”
If Jae was honest with himself, looking for Yoochun was the plan, but as stop lights came and went, and pedestrians shuffled past, the empty feeling in his heart expanded.
He drank another bottle.
His phone rang; he ignored it. It rang again. This time he looked at the display. Donghae.
“What?” he snapped.
“Hey,” Donghae said, carefully.
“Seriously, what do you want? I’m not in the mood for idle chitchat.”
“Just breaking news on the television is all. Jung Yunho declaring to all the media that you’re holding his companies hostage and internal negotiations have failed, and so he’s taking you to court.”
Jae shut his eyes. “Fucker.”
“Yeah, really, tug at your heart strings bullshit. Your relationship has already been mentioned and he’s pulling the ‘I don’t know what happened’ crap. I called to see how you’re doing.”
“Miserable, Hae, just absolutely miserable.”
“There’s more to that than Yunho being a jack ass. What’s wrong?”
Jae sighed. “He left.”
“Who left?
“Micky left.”
“What? Where?”
“God, Hae, I don’t know. I just really hope he didn’t go back to Busan.”
“Let me give you a bit of advice,” Donghae said. “Some info from someone that knows Micky pretty well. He’s quiet, he’s reserved and he thinks a lot. It’s an interesting twist of life when you can be as smart and talented as that kid is and still end up being a whore. Does he know where you are?”
“For now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to make sure all my international holdings are running smoothly. I’m going to Beijing tomorrow, then New York and Chicago.”
Donghae was quiet for a moment. “And if he comes back?”
Jae scoffed. “He won’t.”
“He might.”
“He won’t.”
“Look, Micky hates being alone, and if you’re someone that he knows and trusts then he’ll come to you.”
“I’ve known him for two days, Hae.”
“So maybe not, but-”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay?” He pulled the phone away and told the driver, “Take me to the hotel.”
The driver nodded.
“Are you drinking?” Donghae asked.
“A little bit.”
“Just make sure it stays a little bit, okay?”
“God, Hae, I have to get out of here. First flight to Beijing is what I need. I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.”
“Bury yourself in business. That was always your motto.”
“What the fuck am I supposed to do? Run around the streets of Seoul screaming his name until I get picked up by the police? I don’t know where he is, he doesn’t have a phone, he didn’t tell me where he was going?”
“Do you want me to come up? I can be there in four hours.”
It was tempting to say yes, but Jae shook his head. “No. I have to go.”
He disconnected, and then called his secretary. The next flight to Beijing was in four hours. He told her to book him a first class flight.
He drank another bottle.
When he arrived at the hotel, he ignored everyone. The alcohol spread through his body quickly. Light headed, unsteady, he fumbled with the key card, and then stumbled into the suite. He called down to the front desk .Words very carefully enunciated, he scheduled a driver to take him to the airport and for a wake up call in two hours.
Steps jerking, he grabbed Yoochun’s jacket and then collapsed onto the couch. He clutched the jacket tightly, brought it to his face and inhaled Yoochun’s smell. The room swam. He curled in a ball. Vision misty with tears.
Yunho leaving him hadn’t hurt this much.
God, why did this hurt so much?
“Please, Chunnie, just don’t go back,” he whispered to the empty room.
YOOCHUN
With a sigh, Yoochun tossed away another cigarette.
He sat on a park bench, watching people go by. He wondered idly if he had a huge neon sigh flashing Former Ho above his head. More than one guy had carefully appraised him from across the street. Then he figured that the bench he was sitting on was probably a if you want me, you can have me bench.
Yoochun stood up.
The wind picked up, and he rubbed his bare arms. He was one of the few without a jacket. He’d made his decision hours ago. There wasn’t much of a decision to make. He had no choices, no prospects. And an offer of help was still an offer no matter who it came from.
Sure there was a chance that Jaejoong was a psychopath who would take him to a basement and chain him up with all his other possessions, but Yoochun highly doubted that.
A nice looking girl sat on a small wall, eating a sandwich. He bowed and apologized profusely and lied and said his phone was dead, and asked to use hers for just a moment. He shot her his disarming smile. She grinned back and actually agreed.
Yoochun dug the card out of his back pocket and called the manager at the hotel.
“Ah, of course, Park Yoochun-shi. I was expecting your call. Where are you?”
Yoochun had no idea so he asked the girl, who told him.
“That’s not far at all. I can send a driver, but it may be faster to just walk.”
The manager gave him directions, which he wrote down on the back of his hand with a pen borrowed from the girl.
“Thank you,” he said and returned her phone with a bow.
The walk back to the hotel only took him fifteen minutes. He smiled, realizing that subconsciously, his feet had led him in a circle around rather than a straight line away from the hotel.
“Ah, welcome back, Park Yoochun-shi. Did you enjoy our city?”
Yoochun smiled. “It’s big. I got a bit turned around. Thanks for giving me your card.”
“Anything for one of Kim Jaejoong-shi’s guests.”
“Is he here? I forgot to grab a room key.”
“Yes, but I don’t know if he’ll be awake. Let me get you a key. Will you be leaving with him?”
“Leaving?”
“To the airport. He’s going to Beijing today.”
“Oh, yeah. That,” Yoochun said, and panicked inside. “No, but he’s not gone yet?”
“No, sir." He handed Yoochun a keycard, and Yoochun fled to the elevators. At the door to the suite, he paused with the card a few centimeters from its reader. If Jae was leaving today … he wasn’t even going to wait to see if Yoochun came back.
Well, you didn’t exactly leave with the intention of coming back? Why would he stay?
And now Jae was leaving, wouldn’t it have been easier to just leave now, never see him again? Yoochun’s heart constricted.
No, no. Your lack of options doesn’t change.
He slid the key in.
Jae was on the couch, one leg on the floor, one arm dangling. He had Yoochun’s jacket clutched tightly in his other hand.
Yoochun swallowed, feet leaden as he made his way to the couch. He kneeled down. Jae shifted in his sleep. A wave of alcohol drifted to him. Yoochun smiled. Jae missed him, missed him enough to get drunk and cuddle up with his jacket.
Yoochun tugged on the jacket. Jae’s eyes flew open, but he tried to roll at the same time and fell off the couch into Yoochun and sent them both to the floor. Yoochun gasped, eyes shut. Jae’s gasps echoed in his ear.
“Yoochun?”
Jae shifted and propped himself up.
“Surprise?” Yoochun said with a grin.
Jae made a noise of disbelief and then kissed him. Yoochun gasped. Soft lips, incessant pressure, and then a swipe of a tongue on his lower lip. Yoochun moaned and melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Jae’s body. Jae tasted like alcohol and something sweeter, almost like chocolate.
Jae broke away. “Don’t ever, ever, ever do that again.”
“I won’t. I just had to think about some things.”
“You weren’t coming back.”
“Not at first, but someone, an incredibly smart guy, once told me that everyone deserves a second chance.”
“You forgot gorgeous,” Jae said with a smile. “Incredibly smart, gorgeous guy.”
“You must still be drunk,” Yoochun said with a laugh. He laughed harder when Jae frowned. “Yes, incredibly gorgeous,” he replied and ran his hands up Jae’s sides.
Jae kissed him again. Yoochun met each tangle of tongue eagerly and arched into Jae’s body. The phone in the suite rang, and Jae jerked away. It silenced.
“You’re going to Beijing,” Yoochun said.
“I have to,” Jae said and rolled off him to sit up. He still had the jacket in his hands. With a smile, he asked, “Do you have a passport?”
“No. “
“That’s alright. I can get you one in a few days.”
Yoochun’s eyes went wide. “You want me to come with you?”
“Of course.”
Jae stood up when the phone rang again. He answered it. “Actually,” he said never taking his eyes from Yoochun, “cancel that. Beijing can wait a few days.” He hung up, called his secretary and canceled the tickets.
He walked back over, helped Yoochun off the floor and hugged him hard. “You do know that psychologically speaking, this isn’t a good idea, right? I’ve known you for two days.”
“Jae, my head is so messed up right now that I doubt this will have a huge impact on it.”
Jae laughed and kissed him again. His hands roved up Yoochun’s back as his tongue reached for the back corners of his mouth and throat.
“Come on,” he said, tugging at Yoochun’s shirt. “Let me take care of you.”
Yoochun stopped with a gasp.
Jae looked back at him.
“Don’t say that,” Yoochun whispered, voice harsh. Junsu always said that to him, before the beatings, after the beatings.
Jae bit his lip, opened his mouth to say something, and then nodded. “Okay. What can I say?”
Yoochun swallowed.
“How about we don’t talk?” Jae said and licked his lips.
“How about we order lunch?”
Jae frowned, pulled Yoochun next to him, arms around his body. “What’s wrong?”
Yoochun squirmed but didn’t try to get away.
“You’re going to have to talk to me, you know,” Jae said with a smile.
“I know.”
“Fine. I’ll order lunch, but I plan on kissing you until it arrives.”
“That’ll be okay.”
Jae leaned in for another long kiss and only pulled away when Yoochun’s stomach growled. He ordered, did as promised and then wouldn’t let Yoochun anywhere near the food and fed him noodles and pieces of meat, kissing him after almost every bite.
When the last bite was swallowed, Jae asked, “What should we do now that you’re fed? There’s a Jacuzzi that needs to be used, a jetted tub in the bathroom and two beds, not to mention the amazing comfortable chair in the office.”
Yoochun winced. “Sleep?”
“Tell me why that instead of everything else, and then yes.”
Yoochun pushed Jae far enough way that he could put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.
“Chunnie?” Jae said after a long moment. A hand rubbed his back.
“What is this then?” Yoochun said. “I just … It’s hard, I still feel like … like …”
“A whore?”
Yoochun scoffed.
“You aren’t though.”
“Aren’t I?” Yoochun met his eyes. “You’re going to help me, and what exactly do you get from it? Seems like it’s an exchange of services to me.”
Jae’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not fair to you or to me.”
“It’s how I feel.”
Jae shook his head. “I’m not going to force you to fuck me and I won’t have you doing anything with me because you feel obligated. I like you, Chunnie. Is part of it some fucked up need to help you? Yeah, but some incredibly smart guy once told me I have a hero complex.”
Yoochun smiled. “You forgot the good looking part.”
Jae laughed and stood up. He held out his hands. “I know you’re dealing with a lot of issues right now, but please let me help you. For now, let’s go to sleep, wake up for dinner, sleep some more, go shopping tomorrow, waste some time, and spend the next few days getting to know each other. Sound good?”
Yoochun smiled and let Jae help him up. “Yeah,” he said and kissed Jae softly. “That sounds great.”
Part 5: Strength
---
.
Part 1: Highways
Part 2: Mood Swings
Part 3: Hurt
.
Rating: R
Paring: Jaejoong/Yoochun
Disclaimer: If they were mine ... ... sorry, lost my train of thought. Imagining what I would do if they were mine. On to the story!
Word Count: 3958
YOOCHUN
As the elevator doors closed, so did Yoochun’s throat. Damn it! He would not cry! He’d barely known Jae for a day and he refused to admit that in that day Jae had become important to him.
He swallowed. Before the tears fell, the elevator stopped. Yoochun stepped into the lobby, and headed toward the doors.
“Good morning, Park Yoochun-shi,” the hotel manager said.
Yoochun returned the greeting and the bow.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No, thank you. Just going to take a tour of the city.”
The manager bowed again. “We were not aware that you were leaving. Let me call a car to-”
“Um, no.” Yoochun shut his eyes in annoyance and suddenly knew what Jae meant about getting things that he didn’t necessarily want. “I’ll walk. Thank you.”
“Of course, Yoochun-shi.” He reached into his jacket pocket. “If you need anything, or you need a driver for any reason, you call me, okay?”
Yoochun took the offered card and stuck it in his back pocket. “Yes, I will. Thank you.”
He had to go through the same thing with the valet.
When he finally did get away from the hotel, he stopped on the corner, jostled by all the people. He had no where to go. So he walked.
The tears fell unrestrained.
Your name isn’t Micky.
Being Micky was all he knew. Yoochun stayed locked away, but with Jae, Jae had freed him for a moment. He had laughed, he had smiled.
And he hadn’t had sex in three days. How weird was that? The last time he’d had a dry spell was when he caught the flu for four days.
The press of Jae’s body mocked him.
His stomach grumbled. God, he should have gotten something to eat before he left. All he had in his pockets was a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
Yoochun lit a cigarette.
Jae’s cigarette.
When he left, he just knew he had to get away. Running again. Running from Kim Jaejoong. A lot of people that were going to tell him he was being stupid. And maybe he was, but …
Why had he left?
I won’t keep you here, but just don’t go back.
Yoochun forced himself to think about Junsu. About the Junsu he’d first met when he was a lonely kid on the city streets, running from an abusive uncle. A stranger, older than him, giving him food and money and a place to stay. The first kiss came two weeks later. The first blow job and fucking not long after that. And then the first beating. Sex and pain became one in the same and then within a year, Junsu was selling him to other people.
For a long time, it was better than what he left at his uncle’s.
Always running. He was always running.
But he had loved Junsu. Loved him with all of his heart and everything he did was for Junsu. A part of him would always crave Junsu’s smiles and words of encouragement and praise. And sometimes he needed the discipline, the correction, the whipping.
He shivered as a memory of a whip ghosted along his back. He would never forget that, the anticipation and pain and begging.
Sometimes, he was going to need it again.
Yoochun finally stopped walking and leaned against a wall. Eyes shut. Breath harsh. He forced himself to remember every beating, every stripe of pain, every “take it and like it” that fell from Junsu’s lips.
This last beating wasn’t the worst he’d gotten. But it was Junsu’s voice, still breathless from sex, saying “I love you, Micky.” Junsu had stopped calling him Yoochun so many years ago. He wasn’t Yoochun to the man. Just something to beat and fuck.
And Junsu had only tied him up when he felt like it. That night hadn’t been one of those nights, so body shaking, when Junsu got up to shower, Yoochun dressed and left.
He lit another cigarette. This pack wasn’t going to last him long. Pushing away from the wall, he almost collided with other pedestrians. He blended back in to the flow of people.
Again he thought of his dongsaengs. They had all been out on jobs that night. It was no wonder that he hadn’t even thought of them when he left. But he thought of them now. This time not with pain but with determination. Jae was right about that. Going back to Busan would only be a temporary fix. They’d all still be under Junsu’s power, all still broke, broken and loved only by each other.
What was love anyway?
Did he really love those boys, or was it more of a need to protect them, watch over them? But wasn’t that part of love?
For the first time in a long time Yoochun thought of his parents. Was that love? He remembered them fighting. Cuddling with his brother, stomachs growling, as they argued and argued, but then smiled and hugged and kissed.
He hadn’t called his mom in years. Damn it. He should have while he was with Jae. Jae would have let him make an international call.
His parents probably thought he was dead.
He wondered if his father cared. He had been the disappointment. His brother had stayed in America, he’d been sent back to Korea.
If he hadn’t been a disappointment before, he was now. There’s no way that he’d ever tell his mother about his current career.
Without anything or anyone behind you, you’ll just end up the same way but in a different city.
Jae had said he hated it when he was right, and Yoochun understood. He hated it when Jae was right, and so far, Jae was always right.
Yoochun smiled. Except for thinking that Yoochun would steal his stuff.
In Busan, Yoochun would have. In Busan, if he had access to all of that and hadn’t brought it back to Junsu, Junsu would have taken it out of his blood.
True, what Junsu didn’t know, didn’t hurt him. He had a lot of chances to rob Lee Donghae, but never had. That man genuinely cared about him, and Yoochun had thought of going to him first when he ran away.
But Donghae had a wife and a little boy, and how would that be to have your husband’s male prostitute show up on your door asking for shelter from a psychopath.
And then to have your savior be the most gorgeous man in Korea driving a blue sports car. It was all so surreal.
Just because it feels surreal, doesn’t mean it’s not real.
Yoochun found himself in a city park. He picked a spot of grass with no trees above him and lay down. The autumn air warmed as the time slipped by. Yoochun may have slept, he may not have, nothing made sense in his mind.
He smoked cigarettes.
I’ll help you if you’ll let me.
Your name is not Micky.
Everyone deserves a second chance.
JAEJOONG
Jae sat at the conference table, Yunho across from him. Both surrounded by a team of lawyers. They never broke eye contact.
Jae listened, but only enough to make sure his lawyer said what he was supposed to say and not inadvertently hand half his company over to the treacherous ex-partner.
Life with Yunho had been surreal. A man who loved him, a gorgeous man who loved him, and it was so easy to fall in love. To drop his walls and let him in to his home and business and heart. Coming home to him in bed with a woman had been even more surreal.
Yunho’s lawyers refused to budge from their terms.
Jae’s lawyer leaned in, whispered something about making negotiations here. Jae gave him a look that said are you fucking kidding me?
The truth was that in his usual state of mind, he could have negotiated and reduced their demands and had them leaving thinking they’d won, but Jae was not in his usual state of mind.
Yoochun was his state of mind.
After the lawyers exchanged a few more words, Jae stood up.
“See you in court,” he said with a grin to Yunho.
“Any chance I can talk to you alone?” Yunho asked, returning the smile.
Jae didn’t reply, but when his lawyer leaned in and said it wasn’t a good idea, a streak of rebellion ran through him. Yeah, it wasn’t a good idea. He held up a hand.
“You have five minutes.”
They stared at each even after the lawyers had shuffled out. He hadn’t been alone with Yunho in a very long time. That day, he told Yunho he had a half hour to get his shit and get the fuck out, and then any and all doors were closed to him. The hardest part was that Yunho led and controlled about ten of his companies. Everything was thrown on hiatus. It was after security had to physically remove Yunho from a building that Jae received the lawsuit papers.
He hadn’t been all that surprised.
“You’re wasting your time,” Jae noted with a look at his watch.
“Can’t I enjoy looking at you?” Yunho asked.
“Pick up a magazine.”
“I still miss you sometimes.”
Jae scoffed.
“No, I mean it.” Yunho stood up and walked around the table as he talked. “You were always good to me, and I took advantage of that. Of course, I knew I was doing it because honestly, Jae, outside of the bedroom, I never loved you.”
“So I noticed.”
Yunho stopped right next to him, leaning against the table, arms crossed. “You’re damn good at sucking cock. Is that why your new boyfriend is with you?”
“Unless you’re prepared to drop this ridiculous claim on my businesses for one of my fantastic blowjobs, I suggest you change the subject.”
“Still easy, huh? Maybe when this is over I can give you a pity fuck or something because I feel bad for taking all your companies.”
Jae rolled his eyes. “Please.”
“You do know that we’ll file a motion to keep personal lives out of the courtroom.”
“I don’t need your infidelity to win.”
“We should just settle this here.”
“Then lower your demands.”
“I never did in the bedroom, why should I now?”
“Do you honestly feel like you deserve a quarter of my company and holdings?”
“And investments. Yes, I do. I helped you gain them.”
“You were my partner for less than a year. I’ve been doing this since I was eighteen.”
“And in that year, your company grew by a quarter.”
Jae rolled his eyes. “Save what money you have.”
When Jae turned around to end the conversation, Yunho grabbed his arm and pulled their bodies together. “Things were good between us. Hot, intense.”
Yeah, they had been. They had been crazy intense, and the best sex Jae had ever had in his life.
Yunho’s hands clutched his ass and he thrust against Jae. Yunho was hard and for once, Jae was glad that disgusted him.
“You miss us,” Yunho said.
“You better let me go or you’re going to have harassment charges to fight off.”
Yunho laughed, but released him. “I love it when you think you’re in control of something.”
Jae left the room. His lawyers filed along behind him. When his head lawyer started talking, Jae held up a hand. “Send me an e-mail.”
Once in his limo, he opened the small fridge, took out a tiny bottle of something and downed it.
“Don’t go back to the hotel yet,” he told the driver.
“Where to then?”
“No where. Just drive around the city for awhile.”
“Yes, sir.”
If Jae was honest with himself, looking for Yoochun was the plan, but as stop lights came and went, and pedestrians shuffled past, the empty feeling in his heart expanded.
He drank another bottle.
His phone rang; he ignored it. It rang again. This time he looked at the display. Donghae.
“What?” he snapped.
“Hey,” Donghae said, carefully.
“Seriously, what do you want? I’m not in the mood for idle chitchat.”
“Just breaking news on the television is all. Jung Yunho declaring to all the media that you’re holding his companies hostage and internal negotiations have failed, and so he’s taking you to court.”
Jae shut his eyes. “Fucker.”
“Yeah, really, tug at your heart strings bullshit. Your relationship has already been mentioned and he’s pulling the ‘I don’t know what happened’ crap. I called to see how you’re doing.”
“Miserable, Hae, just absolutely miserable.”
“There’s more to that than Yunho being a jack ass. What’s wrong?”
Jae sighed. “He left.”
“Who left?
“Micky left.”
“What? Where?”
“God, Hae, I don’t know. I just really hope he didn’t go back to Busan.”
“Let me give you a bit of advice,” Donghae said. “Some info from someone that knows Micky pretty well. He’s quiet, he’s reserved and he thinks a lot. It’s an interesting twist of life when you can be as smart and talented as that kid is and still end up being a whore. Does he know where you are?”
“For now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to make sure all my international holdings are running smoothly. I’m going to Beijing tomorrow, then New York and Chicago.”
Donghae was quiet for a moment. “And if he comes back?”
Jae scoffed. “He won’t.”
“He might.”
“He won’t.”
“Look, Micky hates being alone, and if you’re someone that he knows and trusts then he’ll come to you.”
“I’ve known him for two days, Hae.”
“So maybe not, but-”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay?” He pulled the phone away and told the driver, “Take me to the hotel.”
The driver nodded.
“Are you drinking?” Donghae asked.
“A little bit.”
“Just make sure it stays a little bit, okay?”
“God, Hae, I have to get out of here. First flight to Beijing is what I need. I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.”
“Bury yourself in business. That was always your motto.”
“What the fuck am I supposed to do? Run around the streets of Seoul screaming his name until I get picked up by the police? I don’t know where he is, he doesn’t have a phone, he didn’t tell me where he was going?”
“Do you want me to come up? I can be there in four hours.”
It was tempting to say yes, but Jae shook his head. “No. I have to go.”
He disconnected, and then called his secretary. The next flight to Beijing was in four hours. He told her to book him a first class flight.
He drank another bottle.
When he arrived at the hotel, he ignored everyone. The alcohol spread through his body quickly. Light headed, unsteady, he fumbled with the key card, and then stumbled into the suite. He called down to the front desk .Words very carefully enunciated, he scheduled a driver to take him to the airport and for a wake up call in two hours.
Steps jerking, he grabbed Yoochun’s jacket and then collapsed onto the couch. He clutched the jacket tightly, brought it to his face and inhaled Yoochun’s smell. The room swam. He curled in a ball. Vision misty with tears.
Yunho leaving him hadn’t hurt this much.
God, why did this hurt so much?
“Please, Chunnie, just don’t go back,” he whispered to the empty room.
YOOCHUN
With a sigh, Yoochun tossed away another cigarette.
He sat on a park bench, watching people go by. He wondered idly if he had a huge neon sigh flashing Former Ho above his head. More than one guy had carefully appraised him from across the street. Then he figured that the bench he was sitting on was probably a if you want me, you can have me bench.
Yoochun stood up.
The wind picked up, and he rubbed his bare arms. He was one of the few without a jacket. He’d made his decision hours ago. There wasn’t much of a decision to make. He had no choices, no prospects. And an offer of help was still an offer no matter who it came from.
Sure there was a chance that Jaejoong was a psychopath who would take him to a basement and chain him up with all his other possessions, but Yoochun highly doubted that.
A nice looking girl sat on a small wall, eating a sandwich. He bowed and apologized profusely and lied and said his phone was dead, and asked to use hers for just a moment. He shot her his disarming smile. She grinned back and actually agreed.
Yoochun dug the card out of his back pocket and called the manager at the hotel.
“Ah, of course, Park Yoochun-shi. I was expecting your call. Where are you?”
Yoochun had no idea so he asked the girl, who told him.
“That’s not far at all. I can send a driver, but it may be faster to just walk.”
The manager gave him directions, which he wrote down on the back of his hand with a pen borrowed from the girl.
“Thank you,” he said and returned her phone with a bow.
The walk back to the hotel only took him fifteen minutes. He smiled, realizing that subconsciously, his feet had led him in a circle around rather than a straight line away from the hotel.
“Ah, welcome back, Park Yoochun-shi. Did you enjoy our city?”
Yoochun smiled. “It’s big. I got a bit turned around. Thanks for giving me your card.”
“Anything for one of Kim Jaejoong-shi’s guests.”
“Is he here? I forgot to grab a room key.”
“Yes, but I don’t know if he’ll be awake. Let me get you a key. Will you be leaving with him?”
“Leaving?”
“To the airport. He’s going to Beijing today.”
“Oh, yeah. That,” Yoochun said, and panicked inside. “No, but he’s not gone yet?”
“No, sir." He handed Yoochun a keycard, and Yoochun fled to the elevators. At the door to the suite, he paused with the card a few centimeters from its reader. If Jae was leaving today … he wasn’t even going to wait to see if Yoochun came back.
Well, you didn’t exactly leave with the intention of coming back? Why would he stay?
And now Jae was leaving, wouldn’t it have been easier to just leave now, never see him again? Yoochun’s heart constricted.
No, no. Your lack of options doesn’t change.
He slid the key in.
Jae was on the couch, one leg on the floor, one arm dangling. He had Yoochun’s jacket clutched tightly in his other hand.
Yoochun swallowed, feet leaden as he made his way to the couch. He kneeled down. Jae shifted in his sleep. A wave of alcohol drifted to him. Yoochun smiled. Jae missed him, missed him enough to get drunk and cuddle up with his jacket.
Yoochun tugged on the jacket. Jae’s eyes flew open, but he tried to roll at the same time and fell off the couch into Yoochun and sent them both to the floor. Yoochun gasped, eyes shut. Jae’s gasps echoed in his ear.
“Yoochun?”
Jae shifted and propped himself up.
“Surprise?” Yoochun said with a grin.
Jae made a noise of disbelief and then kissed him. Yoochun gasped. Soft lips, incessant pressure, and then a swipe of a tongue on his lower lip. Yoochun moaned and melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Jae’s body. Jae tasted like alcohol and something sweeter, almost like chocolate.
Jae broke away. “Don’t ever, ever, ever do that again.”
“I won’t. I just had to think about some things.”
“You weren’t coming back.”
“Not at first, but someone, an incredibly smart guy, once told me that everyone deserves a second chance.”
“You forgot gorgeous,” Jae said with a smile. “Incredibly smart, gorgeous guy.”
“You must still be drunk,” Yoochun said with a laugh. He laughed harder when Jae frowned. “Yes, incredibly gorgeous,” he replied and ran his hands up Jae’s sides.
Jae kissed him again. Yoochun met each tangle of tongue eagerly and arched into Jae’s body. The phone in the suite rang, and Jae jerked away. It silenced.
“You’re going to Beijing,” Yoochun said.
“I have to,” Jae said and rolled off him to sit up. He still had the jacket in his hands. With a smile, he asked, “Do you have a passport?”
“No. “
“That’s alright. I can get you one in a few days.”
Yoochun’s eyes went wide. “You want me to come with you?”
“Of course.”
Jae stood up when the phone rang again. He answered it. “Actually,” he said never taking his eyes from Yoochun, “cancel that. Beijing can wait a few days.” He hung up, called his secretary and canceled the tickets.
He walked back over, helped Yoochun off the floor and hugged him hard. “You do know that psychologically speaking, this isn’t a good idea, right? I’ve known you for two days.”
“Jae, my head is so messed up right now that I doubt this will have a huge impact on it.”
Jae laughed and kissed him again. His hands roved up Yoochun’s back as his tongue reached for the back corners of his mouth and throat.
“Come on,” he said, tugging at Yoochun’s shirt. “Let me take care of you.”
Yoochun stopped with a gasp.
Jae looked back at him.
“Don’t say that,” Yoochun whispered, voice harsh. Junsu always said that to him, before the beatings, after the beatings.
Jae bit his lip, opened his mouth to say something, and then nodded. “Okay. What can I say?”
Yoochun swallowed.
“How about we don’t talk?” Jae said and licked his lips.
“How about we order lunch?”
Jae frowned, pulled Yoochun next to him, arms around his body. “What’s wrong?”
Yoochun squirmed but didn’t try to get away.
“You’re going to have to talk to me, you know,” Jae said with a smile.
“I know.”
“Fine. I’ll order lunch, but I plan on kissing you until it arrives.”
“That’ll be okay.”
Jae leaned in for another long kiss and only pulled away when Yoochun’s stomach growled. He ordered, did as promised and then wouldn’t let Yoochun anywhere near the food and fed him noodles and pieces of meat, kissing him after almost every bite.
When the last bite was swallowed, Jae asked, “What should we do now that you’re fed? There’s a Jacuzzi that needs to be used, a jetted tub in the bathroom and two beds, not to mention the amazing comfortable chair in the office.”
Yoochun winced. “Sleep?”
“Tell me why that instead of everything else, and then yes.”
Yoochun pushed Jae far enough way that he could put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.
“Chunnie?” Jae said after a long moment. A hand rubbed his back.
“What is this then?” Yoochun said. “I just … It’s hard, I still feel like … like …”
“A whore?”
Yoochun scoffed.
“You aren’t though.”
“Aren’t I?” Yoochun met his eyes. “You’re going to help me, and what exactly do you get from it? Seems like it’s an exchange of services to me.”
Jae’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not fair to you or to me.”
“It’s how I feel.”
Jae shook his head. “I’m not going to force you to fuck me and I won’t have you doing anything with me because you feel obligated. I like you, Chunnie. Is part of it some fucked up need to help you? Yeah, but some incredibly smart guy once told me I have a hero complex.”
Yoochun smiled. “You forgot the good looking part.”
Jae laughed and stood up. He held out his hands. “I know you’re dealing with a lot of issues right now, but please let me help you. For now, let’s go to sleep, wake up for dinner, sleep some more, go shopping tomorrow, waste some time, and spend the next few days getting to know each other. Sound good?”
Yoochun smiled and let Jae help him up. “Yeah,” he said and kissed Jae softly. “That sounds great.”
Part 5: Strength
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Part 1: Highways
Part 2: Mood Swings
Part 3: Hurt
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