Pick Me Up 3/5
Title: Pick Me Up 3/5
Rating: R
Paring: Jaejoong/Yoochun
Disclaimer: If they were mine ... ... sorry, lost my train of thought. Imagining what I would do if they were mine. On to the story!
Word Count: 3506
a/n: sorry this update took a while. I was incredibly ill last night with a migraine and nausea, so I went straight to bed.
Also, this is now going to be a 5 part story. I had added a short epilogue, but it now being expanded, so the total of parts will be 5.
YOOCHUN
Jae stalked through the suite, took the sport coat off and flung it into a chair. He threw himself into the other one, leg over the arm, head back.
“Oh, fuck,” he said, drawing the word out as he stretched.
Yoochun took the jacket off and laid it across the back of the arm chair. He picked up Jae’s discarded one and did the same. Jae had been distant during lunch, disturbed. More than once, he’d trailed off in the middle of a story. Yoochun didn’t pry, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that those stories were about that man Yunho.
Jae sighed and stood up quickly. “I was hoping to not have to see that bastard until tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
Jae waved the question away. He untucked his shirt, and undid the buttons, ripping a couple of them. The shirt landed in a heap on the floor.
Yoochun stopped breathing, eyes glued to Jae’s body. This time he was caught staring.
Jae smiled at him and turned away. “I’m going to have a cigarette.” He flung the balcony door open, looked over his shoulder and said, “Well, come on.”
Yoochun stood there a moment longer and then went outside. The afternoon air was crisp. Not appropriate for no shirt. The balcony itself was large, stretching the length of the suite and then to the edge of the roof. There was a patio set up, a few couches, a fire pit, and the jaccuzi. Jae went to railing. He flipped open the pack and then cursed.
“There’s only one left,” he said, but pulled it out and lit it. He took a drag and then handed it to Yoochun. They smoked in silence, looking out over the city.
Yoochun was again assailed by how large it was. He had no idea where to start or what to do or where to go. He thought leaving Busan was his only option, but now he wondered how good of a choice it had been. Certain people in Busan would have taken him in. Maybe. But then again, if he stayed in Busan, it would have only been a matter of time before Junsu found him.
Jae turned around and leaned against the railing. Close. Jae laid his arm along the railing and over Yoochun’s arm. Yoochun moved it, but had no place to put it. Around Jae’s waist would have been nice. He swallowed, and then Jae handed him the cigarette again and he took it with that hand.
“So what are you going to do?” Jae asked.
Yoochun had no answer.
“Something else?” Jae offered.
Yoochun cut his eyes to his and swallowed. Jae met his stare unwavering, and Yoochun had a sinking suspicion that Jae had already figured out what he ran away from.
“Definitely something else,” Yoochun finally replied and looked away.
“Will you stay here tonight? Please.”
Yoochun didn’t look at him, felt his eyes on the side of his face. He took another drag on the cigarette. He wanted to stay. His life was so uncertain now. Staying meant that Jae would be a part of it. It didn’t make sense, he hadn’t even known Jae for an entire day.
But he knew himself. He hated to be alone and if he left, he’d be alone. He’d have to leave tomorrow. He should have left before Jae took him to lunch where the food cost more money than he had ever been able to call his own.
He should have left last night when Jae was still sleeping.
Alone. He hadn’t been alone for so long. On the rare occasions he didn’t have a job, he’d sit up and wait. Look out the window. He couldn’t sleep, or do anything those nights, alone, aching, until the boys came home in the morning.
The thought of his dongsaengs still in Busan made his heart ache. He’d abandoned them. And now one of them was going to have to take his place, keep the clientele happy. The thought of Onew, Minho, Taemin, and Jonghyun at the mercy of Junsu made his throat close up.
And he’d left them there. Left them to their fate because he’d been too cowardly to protect them.
He turned his face away from Jae and gasped.
Selfish was what he was. Selfish. He should have stayed. They were his brothers. He was supposed to care for them. How many times did he hold Taemin until he cried himself to sleep? How many encouraging words did he have to lie to make them feel like they would all have a chance to make something else of their lives? How many wounds did he have to heal, physical and mental?
Guilty tears fell down his cheeks. If anything he should have stayed for them. Not run away.
Selfish.
“Yoochun,” Jae whispered.
He jerked away from the touch on his shoulder. His knees gave out and he sat hard on the ground, hands grasping the cool metal of the railing.
Hands tugged on his arms and he let go, too weak to fight. Strong arms pulled him and he succumbed to their comfort, burying his face in Jae’s neck. He cried and forced himself to think of Onew’s perfect smile beaten away, Minho’s welt ridden back, Taemin’s pretty features destroyed and Jonghyun’s body on display for whoever wanted it. The images got worse, the scenarios more awful and violent and bloody and …
Yoochun broke away from Jae, crawled towards the door and just made it to the trash can before throwing up his lunch. Jae wasn’t far behind, arms and legs encircling him again, holding him, rocking him until his sobs turned to heavy gasps and he had no more tears to cry.
“I just left them there,” he muttered.
Jae held him tighter. “I’m sure they’ll-”
“Don’t you dare say they’ll be okay,” Yoochun snarled, flinging himself away. He was still too weak, but Jae let him go. “You have no idea.”
“Tell me.”
Yoochun met his eyes for a moment. He took a deep breath and stood, using the wall to support him. “They won’t be okay, and it’ll be all my fault and-” He broke off with an anguished gasp. He fumbled with the door, finally wrenching it open. Stumbled on the frame. His vision blurred. The bedroom door slammed open. He shoved his clothes into his bag, forgetting that he was wearing Jae’s.
“What are you doing?” Jae asked.
“I can’t just leave them,” Yoochun muttered. “I have to go back.”
He ignored Jae’s gasp. Zipped up the bag.
Jae slammed the bedroom door and stood in front of it. “Fuck, no, you’re not going back.”
“Move.”
“No.”
“Fuck you, Jae. I shouldn’t have even gotten in your car. I shouldn’t have left. Get out of my way.”
“You can’t.”
“The rich man says no, guess I’ll do what he says like everyone else.”
“I’m not saying this for my own personal gain,” Jae said, eyes narrowing. “You need to think about this.”
Yoochun didn’t want to touch him, if he touched him, he wouldn’t leave. And the only way to get out the door was to move Jae away from it.
“Need I remind you of what your body looks like right now?” Jae whispered.
“And he’s probably doing worse to them because I’m not there,” Yoochun shouted. He dropped his bag and put his face in his hands. “God, I didn’t even think about them when I left. What would happen to them. What he’s doing to them.”
“And how is going back going to help them, huh?”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, I don’t, because you haven’t told me. Tell me.”
Yoochun turned away from him. A few more tears dripped down his face. “Just let me go, Jae.”
“Think long term, Yoochun. Come on. There’s a budding business man buried in you somewhere. Going back would just mean a temporary fix, but not going back and trying to make something with your life and bettering your life means that you’ll get to better theirs and get them out of whatever situation it is that they’re in.”
Yoochun shut his eyes. He knew Jae was right, but how was he supposed to better his life when he had no job, no education, and the only way he knew how to make money was to sell himself? And how could he just leave them to that life?
Arms wrapped around him from behind. He leaned into Jae’s body.
“Please don’t leave,” Jae whispered. “Remember what you said to me, you can’t save everybody, right? Well, you also can’t save anyone until you save yourself.”
Yoochun collapsed again, turning in Jae’s arms and gasping, crying. He barely noticed when Jae lowered him to the bed, but then thankfully everything went black.
JAEJOONG
Yoochun’s body went limp. Jae panicked, laid him flat, and didn’t breathe until he saw Yoochun’s chest rise and fall with irregular breaths. He rubbed his face in his hands. Forget making sure that Yoochun laughed more; Jae had to worry more about making sure he didn’t go back to Busan. Jae understood though. If Yoochun felt obligated to go protect who Jae could only assume were Yoochun’s dongsaengs, it’d be tough to keep Yoochun here.
Jae sighed and undid the buttons on Yoochun’s shirt. It was going to be his now. Jae never looked that good wearing that shirt. Each button revealed another fading stripe of red skin. He didn’t understand why someone would do something like that to someone else. He manipulated Yoochun’s arms and managed to get the shirt off. He reached for the belt buckle and then stopped. Something told him that Yoochun would freak out if he found himself naked when he woke up.
Yoochun jerked suddenly, a small sound escaping his lips, but he didn’t wake up. He thrashed for a moment and then curled in toward Jae’s body, hand falling on his leg. He visibly settled.
Jae smiled, eyes trailing over his body. Yeah, he was skinny and needed to eat more, but he had muscles on him. A single red welt wound onto his side. How hard of a strike would that had to of been? Did Yoochun take this beating silently, or cry out, or scream? Did whoever did it tell him he deserved it?
Red hot fury raced through him, and he clenched the blanket in his hands.
If Donghae-
Jae stood up and left the room. He found his phone in the jacket pocket and dialed Donghae’s number.
“Wow, two phone calls in one day,” he said with a laugh. “You feeling okay?”
“Did you hurt him?” Jae asked, voice low.
“What? Did I hurt who?”
“If I find out that you hurt him-“
“Woah, Jae. What are you talking about?”
“Micky. Did you hurt him?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just answer, Hae, because if I find out that it’s you who put those welts on his back then I’m going to fly down to Busan and kick your ass.”
“Welts? Jae, how do you-” Donghae stopped and then said, “He’s with you, isn’t he? That’s why you called earlier.”
“And I’m going to ask again, did you hurt him?”
“No. God, Jae, you know I’m not like that during sex. Wait, aren’t you in Seoul? He’s in Seoul?”
“Yeah, I saw him walking on the side of road last night and picked him up.”
“I promise, Jae, that no, I did not hurt him. I’d never hurt him. If he wasn’t a whore, I probably could have loved him, but you don’t fall in love with prostitutes. If you’re going to threaten anyone, go after his pimp, Xiah.”
“Xiah?”
“Yeah. Every now and then when Micky would come over, he’d be a little beat up. It took a while but Micky started telling me about Xiah. I’m sure that if Xiah knew that, he would have killed him.”
“You know his name isn’t Micky?”
“Yeah, I know. But he never told me his real name, even when I asked.”
“When he wakes up and if I find out you’re lying to me-”
“Damn it, Jae, when have I ever shown any interest in beating people?”
“People have secrets.”
“I guess you won’t believe me until you ask him, though, huh?”
“No.”
Donghae sighed. “Is he okay?”
“Not really.”
There was a noise from the other room.
“I have to go,” Jae said and headed to the room.
“Wait,” Donghae said quickly. “Tell him … well, give him a hug for me, yeah?”
Jae scoffed and disconnected.
He opened the door. Yoochun wasn’t in the bed. Jae covered the floor like he had flown and found him curled in a ball between the bed and wall. His body shaking, eyes staring at nothing.
“Chunnie?” Jae whispered and dropped next to him. Yoochun didn’t fight him when he pulled him into his arms. Jae knew that no words of comfort would help. He held him for almost an hour, and then said, “Come on. Let’s get you into a warm bath or something.” Jae helped him up, but Yoochun stumbled and fell to the bed pulling Jae on top of him. Their bare chests pressed together. Jae’s face was at his shoulder, and Yoochun’s harsh breathing pulsed on his skin. Jae stayed there in muted shock until Yoochun moved, foot sliding up the back of Jae’s leg. Jae gasped, and then rolled away and sat up.
“I’m going to go fill the tub up for you. Are you hungry?”
“No,” Yoochun whispered, voice harsh.
“You should eat. At least some rice.”
“Okay.”
Jae entered the bathroom and closed the door. He leaned against it, breath gasping, rubbing hands on his chest, trying to rid himself of the feel of Yoochun’s skin on his. Not like this, not with him so vulnerable. Enough people had taken advantage of him, Jae wouldn’t be one of them. And he’d only known Yoochun for a day. One day! Why had he attached himself so quickly to this poor soul?
Maybe because he knew what it felt like to have your world ripped out from under you.
Thoughts and memories of Yunho and some girl in THEIR bed played through his mind again. Sure the situations were completely different, but Jae knew what it was like to be lonely. To go from sharing a bed with a warm body every night, to cold sheets and nightmares and never being warm enough.
Jae pushed away from the door and started the water in the tub, making sure it was piping hot. Yoochun needed to relax as much as possible. He splashed cold water on his face,
made sure that he could bury whatever emotions, thoughts and feelings he had toward Yoochun, and then opened the door.
Yoochun was as he left him, half lying on the bed, feet on the floor.
“The tub is full.”
Yoochun turned pained eyes to him.
“It will help you relax. I’m going to go order some room service.”
Jae left the room, Yoochun’s eyes following him out. He didn’t breathe until the door was shut. He ordered some food and a couple packs of cigarettes.
When the food arrived, he forced down what he could, leaving a small pot of rice and kimchi for Yoochun.
Jae eyed the mini bar, but he couldn’t get drunk tonight. His mind had to be clear for the meeting with Yunho and his lawyers.
And he had to keep his mind out of that bedroom. Out of that bathroom. Out of that bathtub. Alcohol would not help with that.
Jae went to the other room, grabbed the iPod from the charger and popped in the ear buds. He went back to the sitting room and paced, feet keeping time to the pop and R&B and rock music playing in his ears. After another hour, Jae checked on Yoochun. He’d expected the other man to come out and eat, but wasn’t utterly surprised when he didn’t.
Jae stopped in the doorway, breath gasping again. He shut his eyes.
It’s not Yunho. It’s not Yunho, he repeated, and then opened them again.
Yoochun was on the bed. He wore a pair of sleep pants. Green with bold white and gray lines. A pair that Jae had forgotten about. They had been Yunho’s. Jae’s throat closed and he had to take a few deep breaths before he moved to the bed.
Yoochun feigned sleep, his breathing a bit too irregular. Jae sat on the other side of the bed. He flipped on the TV and leaned back to watch a movie. A few minutes later, Yoochun shifted, his foot pressed against Jae’s calf.
They didn’t say anything.
After the hours ticked by, Jae set the alarm for six. He turned the light off and then climbed under the covers. Only moments later, the other side of the bed shifted.
“Jae?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.” And then a pair of shaking arms wrapped around his middle.
Not a good idea.
Jae didn’t care. Yoochun stopped shivering and his breath steadied when he was being touched or held. And it felt nice to be held. Jae shifted against Yoochun’s body, settling into his warmth.
He knew the moment that Yoochun fell asleep.
For now that was enough.
Jae woke up alone, but he wasn’t cold so Yoochun hadn’t been up for long.
The bathroom door opened. Yoochun walked out, fully dressed and then cursed when he saw Jae awake.
“Sneaking out?” Jae asked, propping up on his elbows.
“Not anymore.”
Jae stretched. It was five am. “You couldn’t have waited until the alarm went off?”
Yoochun moved swiftly to the bedroom door, and Jae had to scramble to intercept him. Yoochun opened it just as Jae grabbed the back of his jacket. Yoochun jerked out of the hold, and Jae slammed the door.
“Please, Yoochun,” he said, “just don’t go back there, okay? I won’t keep you here, but don’t go back.”
“I have to.”
Jae made a noise of defeat. “Why?”
“What else is there for me, huh?”
Jae stopped himself from saying something stupid. Something revealing with words that were supposed to mean something that he couldn’t mean after only knowing the man for one day.
Maybe …
Instincts.
Jae pushed him up against the door, pressed his body into Yoochun’s. He forced his legs open and when Yoochun’s hands grabbed his forearms, Jae struggled with him, until he had Yoochun’s hands pinned above his head. Jae trailed hot breath up Yoochun’s neck. His head hit the door with a moan.
“I know what you’re going back to,” Jae whispered, lips just barely not touching Yoochun’s ear.
Yoochun whimpered.
Jae pulled his face back far enough to look at his face.
“Tell me, Micky, how many times has Lee Donghae been balls deep in your ass?”
Yoochun’s body stilled, his eyes flew open.
“Donghae and I have been friends since we were thirteen. When you said your name was Micky, I had a feeling I knew someone by that name. I called him to verify it and to make sure it wasn’t him that was taking a whip to you. Trust me when I say that I would have hurt him if it was. Remember that I live in Busan. And if I can find out who he is, I’m going to destroy Xiah.”
Yoochun gasped.
“Look, I know you’re worried about your dongsaengs, your friends, but damn it, Yoochun if you go back then you’re tossing away this chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. Everyone, and this is yours. If you don’t want to let me help you, then fine. Go walk around the streets of Seoul for a few days. Without anything or anyone behind you, you’ll just end up the same way but in a different city.”
Yoochun had started crying again, silent tears dripping from wide eyes, body limp against his.
“I will never, ever know what if feels like to sell myself just to survive, and damn it, Yoochun, I don’t want you to have to feel that again either. I’ll help you if you’ll let me.”
Yoochun’s eyes closed. “Let me go. Please.”
Jae sighed. He released Yoochun’s arms and stepped away. “Fine. But just remember that your name is not Micky, and you are not Micky.”
Jae turned around and headed to the bathroom. The bedroom door closed and he jerked like he had been struck.
“Nothing you can do,” Jae said, and repeated it again and again while he got ready for his day.
When he emerged from the bedroom, that air of cool, collected business air around him, he could almost pretend that Yoochun’s missing presence didn’t hurt. Pain didn’t lash through his heart and down his limbs.
And then Jae stopped. On the back of the chair was Yoochun’s tan hoodie. And a note:
I stole your cigarettes.
Part 4: Phone Calls
.
Part 1: Highways
Part 2: Mood Swings
.
Rating: R
Paring: Jaejoong/Yoochun
Disclaimer: If they were mine ... ... sorry, lost my train of thought. Imagining what I would do if they were mine. On to the story!
Word Count: 3506
a/n: sorry this update took a while. I was incredibly ill last night with a migraine and nausea, so I went straight to bed.
Also, this is now going to be a 5 part story. I had added a short epilogue, but it now being expanded, so the total of parts will be 5.
YOOCHUN
Jae stalked through the suite, took the sport coat off and flung it into a chair. He threw himself into the other one, leg over the arm, head back.
“Oh, fuck,” he said, drawing the word out as he stretched.
Yoochun took the jacket off and laid it across the back of the arm chair. He picked up Jae’s discarded one and did the same. Jae had been distant during lunch, disturbed. More than once, he’d trailed off in the middle of a story. Yoochun didn’t pry, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that those stories were about that man Yunho.
Jae sighed and stood up quickly. “I was hoping to not have to see that bastard until tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
Jae waved the question away. He untucked his shirt, and undid the buttons, ripping a couple of them. The shirt landed in a heap on the floor.
Yoochun stopped breathing, eyes glued to Jae’s body. This time he was caught staring.
Jae smiled at him and turned away. “I’m going to have a cigarette.” He flung the balcony door open, looked over his shoulder and said, “Well, come on.”
Yoochun stood there a moment longer and then went outside. The afternoon air was crisp. Not appropriate for no shirt. The balcony itself was large, stretching the length of the suite and then to the edge of the roof. There was a patio set up, a few couches, a fire pit, and the jaccuzi. Jae went to railing. He flipped open the pack and then cursed.
“There’s only one left,” he said, but pulled it out and lit it. He took a drag and then handed it to Yoochun. They smoked in silence, looking out over the city.
Yoochun was again assailed by how large it was. He had no idea where to start or what to do or where to go. He thought leaving Busan was his only option, but now he wondered how good of a choice it had been. Certain people in Busan would have taken him in. Maybe. But then again, if he stayed in Busan, it would have only been a matter of time before Junsu found him.
Jae turned around and leaned against the railing. Close. Jae laid his arm along the railing and over Yoochun’s arm. Yoochun moved it, but had no place to put it. Around Jae’s waist would have been nice. He swallowed, and then Jae handed him the cigarette again and he took it with that hand.
“So what are you going to do?” Jae asked.
Yoochun had no answer.
“Something else?” Jae offered.
Yoochun cut his eyes to his and swallowed. Jae met his stare unwavering, and Yoochun had a sinking suspicion that Jae had already figured out what he ran away from.
“Definitely something else,” Yoochun finally replied and looked away.
“Will you stay here tonight? Please.”
Yoochun didn’t look at him, felt his eyes on the side of his face. He took another drag on the cigarette. He wanted to stay. His life was so uncertain now. Staying meant that Jae would be a part of it. It didn’t make sense, he hadn’t even known Jae for an entire day.
But he knew himself. He hated to be alone and if he left, he’d be alone. He’d have to leave tomorrow. He should have left before Jae took him to lunch where the food cost more money than he had ever been able to call his own.
He should have left last night when Jae was still sleeping.
Alone. He hadn’t been alone for so long. On the rare occasions he didn’t have a job, he’d sit up and wait. Look out the window. He couldn’t sleep, or do anything those nights, alone, aching, until the boys came home in the morning.
The thought of his dongsaengs still in Busan made his heart ache. He’d abandoned them. And now one of them was going to have to take his place, keep the clientele happy. The thought of Onew, Minho, Taemin, and Jonghyun at the mercy of Junsu made his throat close up.
And he’d left them there. Left them to their fate because he’d been too cowardly to protect them.
He turned his face away from Jae and gasped.
Selfish was what he was. Selfish. He should have stayed. They were his brothers. He was supposed to care for them. How many times did he hold Taemin until he cried himself to sleep? How many encouraging words did he have to lie to make them feel like they would all have a chance to make something else of their lives? How many wounds did he have to heal, physical and mental?
Guilty tears fell down his cheeks. If anything he should have stayed for them. Not run away.
Selfish.
“Yoochun,” Jae whispered.
He jerked away from the touch on his shoulder. His knees gave out and he sat hard on the ground, hands grasping the cool metal of the railing.
Hands tugged on his arms and he let go, too weak to fight. Strong arms pulled him and he succumbed to their comfort, burying his face in Jae’s neck. He cried and forced himself to think of Onew’s perfect smile beaten away, Minho’s welt ridden back, Taemin’s pretty features destroyed and Jonghyun’s body on display for whoever wanted it. The images got worse, the scenarios more awful and violent and bloody and …
Yoochun broke away from Jae, crawled towards the door and just made it to the trash can before throwing up his lunch. Jae wasn’t far behind, arms and legs encircling him again, holding him, rocking him until his sobs turned to heavy gasps and he had no more tears to cry.
“I just left them there,” he muttered.
Jae held him tighter. “I’m sure they’ll-”
“Don’t you dare say they’ll be okay,” Yoochun snarled, flinging himself away. He was still too weak, but Jae let him go. “You have no idea.”
“Tell me.”
Yoochun met his eyes for a moment. He took a deep breath and stood, using the wall to support him. “They won’t be okay, and it’ll be all my fault and-” He broke off with an anguished gasp. He fumbled with the door, finally wrenching it open. Stumbled on the frame. His vision blurred. The bedroom door slammed open. He shoved his clothes into his bag, forgetting that he was wearing Jae’s.
“What are you doing?” Jae asked.
“I can’t just leave them,” Yoochun muttered. “I have to go back.”
He ignored Jae’s gasp. Zipped up the bag.
Jae slammed the bedroom door and stood in front of it. “Fuck, no, you’re not going back.”
“Move.”
“No.”
“Fuck you, Jae. I shouldn’t have even gotten in your car. I shouldn’t have left. Get out of my way.”
“You can’t.”
“The rich man says no, guess I’ll do what he says like everyone else.”
“I’m not saying this for my own personal gain,” Jae said, eyes narrowing. “You need to think about this.”
Yoochun didn’t want to touch him, if he touched him, he wouldn’t leave. And the only way to get out the door was to move Jae away from it.
“Need I remind you of what your body looks like right now?” Jae whispered.
“And he’s probably doing worse to them because I’m not there,” Yoochun shouted. He dropped his bag and put his face in his hands. “God, I didn’t even think about them when I left. What would happen to them. What he’s doing to them.”
“And how is going back going to help them, huh?”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, I don’t, because you haven’t told me. Tell me.”
Yoochun turned away from him. A few more tears dripped down his face. “Just let me go, Jae.”
“Think long term, Yoochun. Come on. There’s a budding business man buried in you somewhere. Going back would just mean a temporary fix, but not going back and trying to make something with your life and bettering your life means that you’ll get to better theirs and get them out of whatever situation it is that they’re in.”
Yoochun shut his eyes. He knew Jae was right, but how was he supposed to better his life when he had no job, no education, and the only way he knew how to make money was to sell himself? And how could he just leave them to that life?
Arms wrapped around him from behind. He leaned into Jae’s body.
“Please don’t leave,” Jae whispered. “Remember what you said to me, you can’t save everybody, right? Well, you also can’t save anyone until you save yourself.”
Yoochun collapsed again, turning in Jae’s arms and gasping, crying. He barely noticed when Jae lowered him to the bed, but then thankfully everything went black.
JAEJOONG
Yoochun’s body went limp. Jae panicked, laid him flat, and didn’t breathe until he saw Yoochun’s chest rise and fall with irregular breaths. He rubbed his face in his hands. Forget making sure that Yoochun laughed more; Jae had to worry more about making sure he didn’t go back to Busan. Jae understood though. If Yoochun felt obligated to go protect who Jae could only assume were Yoochun’s dongsaengs, it’d be tough to keep Yoochun here.
Jae sighed and undid the buttons on Yoochun’s shirt. It was going to be his now. Jae never looked that good wearing that shirt. Each button revealed another fading stripe of red skin. He didn’t understand why someone would do something like that to someone else. He manipulated Yoochun’s arms and managed to get the shirt off. He reached for the belt buckle and then stopped. Something told him that Yoochun would freak out if he found himself naked when he woke up.
Yoochun jerked suddenly, a small sound escaping his lips, but he didn’t wake up. He thrashed for a moment and then curled in toward Jae’s body, hand falling on his leg. He visibly settled.
Jae smiled, eyes trailing over his body. Yeah, he was skinny and needed to eat more, but he had muscles on him. A single red welt wound onto his side. How hard of a strike would that had to of been? Did Yoochun take this beating silently, or cry out, or scream? Did whoever did it tell him he deserved it?
Red hot fury raced through him, and he clenched the blanket in his hands.
If Donghae-
Jae stood up and left the room. He found his phone in the jacket pocket and dialed Donghae’s number.
“Wow, two phone calls in one day,” he said with a laugh. “You feeling okay?”
“Did you hurt him?” Jae asked, voice low.
“What? Did I hurt who?”
“If I find out that you hurt him-“
“Woah, Jae. What are you talking about?”
“Micky. Did you hurt him?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just answer, Hae, because if I find out that it’s you who put those welts on his back then I’m going to fly down to Busan and kick your ass.”
“Welts? Jae, how do you-” Donghae stopped and then said, “He’s with you, isn’t he? That’s why you called earlier.”
“And I’m going to ask again, did you hurt him?”
“No. God, Jae, you know I’m not like that during sex. Wait, aren’t you in Seoul? He’s in Seoul?”
“Yeah, I saw him walking on the side of road last night and picked him up.”
“I promise, Jae, that no, I did not hurt him. I’d never hurt him. If he wasn’t a whore, I probably could have loved him, but you don’t fall in love with prostitutes. If you’re going to threaten anyone, go after his pimp, Xiah.”
“Xiah?”
“Yeah. Every now and then when Micky would come over, he’d be a little beat up. It took a while but Micky started telling me about Xiah. I’m sure that if Xiah knew that, he would have killed him.”
“You know his name isn’t Micky?”
“Yeah, I know. But he never told me his real name, even when I asked.”
“When he wakes up and if I find out you’re lying to me-”
“Damn it, Jae, when have I ever shown any interest in beating people?”
“People have secrets.”
“I guess you won’t believe me until you ask him, though, huh?”
“No.”
Donghae sighed. “Is he okay?”
“Not really.”
There was a noise from the other room.
“I have to go,” Jae said and headed to the room.
“Wait,” Donghae said quickly. “Tell him … well, give him a hug for me, yeah?”
Jae scoffed and disconnected.
He opened the door. Yoochun wasn’t in the bed. Jae covered the floor like he had flown and found him curled in a ball between the bed and wall. His body shaking, eyes staring at nothing.
“Chunnie?” Jae whispered and dropped next to him. Yoochun didn’t fight him when he pulled him into his arms. Jae knew that no words of comfort would help. He held him for almost an hour, and then said, “Come on. Let’s get you into a warm bath or something.” Jae helped him up, but Yoochun stumbled and fell to the bed pulling Jae on top of him. Their bare chests pressed together. Jae’s face was at his shoulder, and Yoochun’s harsh breathing pulsed on his skin. Jae stayed there in muted shock until Yoochun moved, foot sliding up the back of Jae’s leg. Jae gasped, and then rolled away and sat up.
“I’m going to go fill the tub up for you. Are you hungry?”
“No,” Yoochun whispered, voice harsh.
“You should eat. At least some rice.”
“Okay.”
Jae entered the bathroom and closed the door. He leaned against it, breath gasping, rubbing hands on his chest, trying to rid himself of the feel of Yoochun’s skin on his. Not like this, not with him so vulnerable. Enough people had taken advantage of him, Jae wouldn’t be one of them. And he’d only known Yoochun for a day. One day! Why had he attached himself so quickly to this poor soul?
Maybe because he knew what it felt like to have your world ripped out from under you.
Thoughts and memories of Yunho and some girl in THEIR bed played through his mind again. Sure the situations were completely different, but Jae knew what it was like to be lonely. To go from sharing a bed with a warm body every night, to cold sheets and nightmares and never being warm enough.
Jae pushed away from the door and started the water in the tub, making sure it was piping hot. Yoochun needed to relax as much as possible. He splashed cold water on his face,
made sure that he could bury whatever emotions, thoughts and feelings he had toward Yoochun, and then opened the door.
Yoochun was as he left him, half lying on the bed, feet on the floor.
“The tub is full.”
Yoochun turned pained eyes to him.
“It will help you relax. I’m going to go order some room service.”
Jae left the room, Yoochun’s eyes following him out. He didn’t breathe until the door was shut. He ordered some food and a couple packs of cigarettes.
When the food arrived, he forced down what he could, leaving a small pot of rice and kimchi for Yoochun.
Jae eyed the mini bar, but he couldn’t get drunk tonight. His mind had to be clear for the meeting with Yunho and his lawyers.
And he had to keep his mind out of that bedroom. Out of that bathroom. Out of that bathtub. Alcohol would not help with that.
Jae went to the other room, grabbed the iPod from the charger and popped in the ear buds. He went back to the sitting room and paced, feet keeping time to the pop and R&B and rock music playing in his ears. After another hour, Jae checked on Yoochun. He’d expected the other man to come out and eat, but wasn’t utterly surprised when he didn’t.
Jae stopped in the doorway, breath gasping again. He shut his eyes.
It’s not Yunho. It’s not Yunho, he repeated, and then opened them again.
Yoochun was on the bed. He wore a pair of sleep pants. Green with bold white and gray lines. A pair that Jae had forgotten about. They had been Yunho’s. Jae’s throat closed and he had to take a few deep breaths before he moved to the bed.
Yoochun feigned sleep, his breathing a bit too irregular. Jae sat on the other side of the bed. He flipped on the TV and leaned back to watch a movie. A few minutes later, Yoochun shifted, his foot pressed against Jae’s calf.
They didn’t say anything.
After the hours ticked by, Jae set the alarm for six. He turned the light off and then climbed under the covers. Only moments later, the other side of the bed shifted.
“Jae?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.” And then a pair of shaking arms wrapped around his middle.
Not a good idea.
Jae didn’t care. Yoochun stopped shivering and his breath steadied when he was being touched or held. And it felt nice to be held. Jae shifted against Yoochun’s body, settling into his warmth.
He knew the moment that Yoochun fell asleep.
For now that was enough.
Jae woke up alone, but he wasn’t cold so Yoochun hadn’t been up for long.
The bathroom door opened. Yoochun walked out, fully dressed and then cursed when he saw Jae awake.
“Sneaking out?” Jae asked, propping up on his elbows.
“Not anymore.”
Jae stretched. It was five am. “You couldn’t have waited until the alarm went off?”
Yoochun moved swiftly to the bedroom door, and Jae had to scramble to intercept him. Yoochun opened it just as Jae grabbed the back of his jacket. Yoochun jerked out of the hold, and Jae slammed the door.
“Please, Yoochun,” he said, “just don’t go back there, okay? I won’t keep you here, but don’t go back.”
“I have to.”
Jae made a noise of defeat. “Why?”
“What else is there for me, huh?”
Jae stopped himself from saying something stupid. Something revealing with words that were supposed to mean something that he couldn’t mean after only knowing the man for one day.
Maybe …
Instincts.
Jae pushed him up against the door, pressed his body into Yoochun’s. He forced his legs open and when Yoochun’s hands grabbed his forearms, Jae struggled with him, until he had Yoochun’s hands pinned above his head. Jae trailed hot breath up Yoochun’s neck. His head hit the door with a moan.
“I know what you’re going back to,” Jae whispered, lips just barely not touching Yoochun’s ear.
Yoochun whimpered.
Jae pulled his face back far enough to look at his face.
“Tell me, Micky, how many times has Lee Donghae been balls deep in your ass?”
Yoochun’s body stilled, his eyes flew open.
“Donghae and I have been friends since we were thirteen. When you said your name was Micky, I had a feeling I knew someone by that name. I called him to verify it and to make sure it wasn’t him that was taking a whip to you. Trust me when I say that I would have hurt him if it was. Remember that I live in Busan. And if I can find out who he is, I’m going to destroy Xiah.”
Yoochun gasped.
“Look, I know you’re worried about your dongsaengs, your friends, but damn it, Yoochun if you go back then you’re tossing away this chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. Everyone, and this is yours. If you don’t want to let me help you, then fine. Go walk around the streets of Seoul for a few days. Without anything or anyone behind you, you’ll just end up the same way but in a different city.”
Yoochun had started crying again, silent tears dripping from wide eyes, body limp against his.
“I will never, ever know what if feels like to sell myself just to survive, and damn it, Yoochun, I don’t want you to have to feel that again either. I’ll help you if you’ll let me.”
Yoochun’s eyes closed. “Let me go. Please.”
Jae sighed. He released Yoochun’s arms and stepped away. “Fine. But just remember that your name is not Micky, and you are not Micky.”
Jae turned around and headed to the bathroom. The bedroom door closed and he jerked like he had been struck.
“Nothing you can do,” Jae said, and repeated it again and again while he got ready for his day.
When he emerged from the bedroom, that air of cool, collected business air around him, he could almost pretend that Yoochun’s missing presence didn’t hurt. Pain didn’t lash through his heart and down his limbs.
And then Jae stopped. On the back of the chair was Yoochun’s tan hoodie. And a note:
I stole your cigarettes.
Part 4: Phone Calls
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Part 1: Highways
Part 2: Mood Swings
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