Curse you loneliness
I have yet to decide which type of loneliness is worst. ive spent all week with friends, and no offense to them, but i feel so unfulfilled. i feel like every conversation i engage in is devoid of emotion and utterly pointless. i want to feel something deeper, just so I know its there. I can't sleep that much. I'm surrounded by friends, but I feel so lonely. Friday is the last day of school for me ever. Fuck, its so deep. That's the only deep feeling I have. Inescapable ending of high school. I'm so excited about college, but I'm not nearly ready for high school to end. I feel like a freshman. But whatever. My friends all laugh at me when I say that. People mature differently, at different times, and I feel like I got screwed out of high school. I was scared to talk to girls until like fucking midway through last year. I was so inwardly-positioned and depressed. I was too busy tredding the water of depression to realize I could control the waves. It's all mental. Infact, I wasn't tredding water, I was standing on land. But by the time I woke up on land, it was too late. Shit.