EMo
damn...im getting so damn emotional. i walk around and im like..this could be the last time i do this, or say that at school. ill never be in high school again, and as happy as i am to go to college, it doesnt come close to overshadowing the utter sadness and emotional roller coaster that is the last week of school. ive become closer to bryan. hes an awesome dude. but fuck, im so sad, just so damn sad. i cant believe im done. i dont want to be. i want to stay immature, irresponsible. i want to spend money on stupid shit and not worrry, and get tucked in by my parents, and see my sister grow up. i dont want to lose my friends. i want to see everyone grow up. fuck, im crying. its so damn emotional. the oc ended. 24 ended. house ended. everything is closing up, changing, moving on. school is so fucking beautiful. i love viewpoint. im going to miss the security. im going to miss pravin screaming "nigger" at the top of his lungs in the crowded breezeway, and no one notices, or cares. im going to miss being my stupid ass self, running around the breezeway pinching people's nipples and slapping bryan. im going to miss wearing a t-shirt just because i want to break the dress code and get away with it. im going to miss staring at the three hot freshman. theyre so hot. im going to miss talking to jessica, and jon, and brian, and jordan, and greg and all the people that i'll forget about. fuck. im going to miss everything good, and ill even miss the bad. im going to miss my locker. im going to miss talking to coleite after school with brian. im going to miss working on locker space. im going to miss nathan, and taylor. and all the beautiful people. im going to miss dr. nowakowski, and mr. azhar's classes. its so fucking sad. itll never be the same. im gonna start getting wrinkles, and gray hair. and i dont want a job. i want to play all day. i dont want to pay bills, and get colonoscopies. it hurts so so deep. i can feel the pain so deep. and i dont know if it will ever go away. and ill miss meg, and kevin. and ill miss shaya. ill miss everything so goddam much. ill miss playing poker at my house, and fantasy leagues with baron. ill miss going off campus from school and feeling so damn cool, because you know what, im a fucking senior, and im cool. ill miss parking at school, and feeling awesome. ill miss oc parties, and attempted oc parties.i do so much stupid shit all the time because i love being a kid. i brought pogs to school one day this year. and i brought my TLC "don't go chasing waterfalls" and my Godzilla sound track. and ill miss matt morris. hes so fucking funny. and moyal. and ill miss how easy the work was, and how much time i had to do it. ill miss that secrity, and feeling badass. but it was so easy to feel badass in a safe environment. its gonna be different on my own. i rememeber so many little things...poker at tods house, third street with megasaurus and kevin, brian jordan greg. i watched seinfeld like everynight of high school. im gonna miss mom, dad, jenna. im going to miss coming home and seeing my bed perfectly made, and when i left it was such a mess. im gonna miss che leeds, and everything. im going to miss everything. memories are a bitch. love em and hate em. im so thankful for every one of my friends and everyone thats helped me get the this point in my life. lifes been in neutral, ive been drafting off of other cars. now its time to start to shift into first gear. i have to go to college, get some jobs, set aside some money. meet a girl, or two, or a grip. i want to start a family. but i still feel so young. does it stay like this? do i start feeling old? its so fucking tragic. im going to miss it all.