what's it like to be high on depression . . . . .
1) DCI- Southeast Champs yesterday, all day. Although the screen resolution wasn't the best, it was still fun watching the shows for a second time. It's also fun to start pointing out mistakes and errors in the corps (seeing them more at a human level makes me happy with my own mortal form). But, it's hard to do with most of these groups. Here's the spread:
1) Blue Devils- 88.475
2) The Cadets (only 0.325 behind)
3) Cavies (only 0.025 behind Cadets)
4) Phantom Regiment
5) Blue Coats (slipped a notch, but won best brass)
6) Carolina Crown
7) Santa Clara Vanguard (slipped 0.2 behind Crown).
2) DWAT event yesterday. Corey, Rasheed, and I brought two trampolines and the orbotron. We went to the Turk's Head Music Festival in West Chester. Event was 12-8pm, we were there 11-9. A ten hour working block is hard (being an hour away, our actual shift was 9am-11pm). It was hot and sunny, and VERY humid. It was a great day to grab a blanket, some beverages, and just chill in front of the stage and listen to some good music. It was a bad day to work. We had only a few riders, which is a big dissappointment considering before Corey's had 2 hour lines at this event. He definitely lost money on this event, he was pissed off, and it showed.
A lot of hard work yet nothing really got done.
I stuffed my face with great festival food, bought a t-shirt and two CDs, spending over $60 on all of these (festivals are fun, but expensive!). What's worse was when we were unhitching the rides in the lot, it started pouring. When I got back to the dorm last night at 11, I had the world's worst diaper rash (without the diaper, you know what I mean).
3) This morning I had trouble waking up, as usual, especially after a DWAT event. This semester has been awful for me. I just can't seem to concentrate in class (thank goodness I'm not falling asleep), and I just can't get homework done. I'm not MOTIVATED to. Then I started asking myself again, "WHY AM I HERE?". Many people go to technical schools or get associates degrees (like Corey, or my aunts). They earn ok money, they're happy. Am I really wasting my parents' money and my time? I look at my grades and I realize that I CAN do much better, and I have before, but I just don't do it. It's that simple, I don't WANT to do it, so I don't put up with it. So, during Statics, I was trying to think of as many reasons as to WHY I'm not motivated to do work:
a) I've already had most of the Physics and Statics material, TWICE with Mr. Gerbi in high school. So homework is just busy work, and I can't "relearn" it in class. And with the calculus integration, Adams makes no applications and gives no visuals. He can't, because not everyone is at the same mathematical level, so all he can do is give us problems to "substitute the variables", rather than actually doing integrating. That extra bit would help with the practice.
b) For Circuits, the material we go over appears simple, but it actually isn't, especially the difficult problems. Plus, I'm not going to be an electrical engineer anyway!
c) For all of my classes with Adams, he speaks slowly and enunciates wayyyyyyy too much. Plus, he's not teaching in a practical, nor organized way. He repeats almost everything, and then only briefly mentions something else. And again, I've most of the material before, so being forced to "relearn" it a different way is fucking boring me to death.
and finally most importantly . . .
d) I've already booked my internship at Disney. I keep thinking I'm going to go there, meet an imagineer who will automatically book me for a professional internship, and from there on I'm gonna work one job, then another, then another. Yeah, I know the future isn't going to be perfect for me, but for some reason I keep KNOWING that it's all going to work out, so why bother stressing out over everything now?
I just want to stay above a 3.0. I have to, for scholarship and honors status.
Ugh, life is aggravating right now.
>-ttt-< :S
1) Blue Devils- 88.475
2) The Cadets (only 0.325 behind)
3) Cavies (only 0.025 behind Cadets)
4) Phantom Regiment
5) Blue Coats (slipped a notch, but won best brass)
6) Carolina Crown
7) Santa Clara Vanguard (slipped 0.2 behind Crown).
2) DWAT event yesterday. Corey, Rasheed, and I brought two trampolines and the orbotron. We went to the Turk's Head Music Festival in West Chester. Event was 12-8pm, we were there 11-9. A ten hour working block is hard (being an hour away, our actual shift was 9am-11pm). It was hot and sunny, and VERY humid. It was a great day to grab a blanket, some beverages, and just chill in front of the stage and listen to some good music. It was a bad day to work. We had only a few riders, which is a big dissappointment considering before Corey's had 2 hour lines at this event. He definitely lost money on this event, he was pissed off, and it showed.
A lot of hard work yet nothing really got done.
I stuffed my face with great festival food, bought a t-shirt and two CDs, spending over $60 on all of these (festivals are fun, but expensive!). What's worse was when we were unhitching the rides in the lot, it started pouring. When I got back to the dorm last night at 11, I had the world's worst diaper rash (without the diaper, you know what I mean).
3) This morning I had trouble waking up, as usual, especially after a DWAT event. This semester has been awful for me. I just can't seem to concentrate in class (thank goodness I'm not falling asleep), and I just can't get homework done. I'm not MOTIVATED to. Then I started asking myself again, "WHY AM I HERE?". Many people go to technical schools or get associates degrees (like Corey, or my aunts). They earn ok money, they're happy. Am I really wasting my parents' money and my time? I look at my grades and I realize that I CAN do much better, and I have before, but I just don't do it. It's that simple, I don't WANT to do it, so I don't put up with it. So, during Statics, I was trying to think of as many reasons as to WHY I'm not motivated to do work:
a) I've already had most of the Physics and Statics material, TWICE with Mr. Gerbi in high school. So homework is just busy work, and I can't "relearn" it in class. And with the calculus integration, Adams makes no applications and gives no visuals. He can't, because not everyone is at the same mathematical level, so all he can do is give us problems to "substitute the variables", rather than actually doing integrating. That extra bit would help with the practice.
b) For Circuits, the material we go over appears simple, but it actually isn't, especially the difficult problems. Plus, I'm not going to be an electrical engineer anyway!
c) For all of my classes with Adams, he speaks slowly and enunciates wayyyyyyy too much. Plus, he's not teaching in a practical, nor organized way. He repeats almost everything, and then only briefly mentions something else. And again, I've most of the material before, so being forced to "relearn" it a different way is fucking boring me to death.
and finally most importantly . . .
d) I've already booked my internship at Disney. I keep thinking I'm going to go there, meet an imagineer who will automatically book me for a professional internship, and from there on I'm gonna work one job, then another, then another. Yeah, I know the future isn't going to be perfect for me, but for some reason I keep KNOWING that it's all going to work out, so why bother stressing out over everything now?
I just want to stay above a 3.0. I have to, for scholarship and honors status.
Ugh, life is aggravating right now.
>-ttt-< :S