I am in Italy doing a survey. What is wrong with this picture?
1.You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
Jesus. And then I hang him up.
2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias who is it?
Margorie Lucius
3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
West Virginia. The only good thing about that states are the jokes you can make up.
4. You wake up as the opposite gender - what's the one thing you wanna try?
EDIT: I honestly cannot think of a good answer to this question. Frankly, I think it's a lot easier being a girl in several respects because we get to pass things off on our gender all of the time. I would probably wake up and try to slap the penis right off and go back to being a girl.
5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Darth.
6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
Easy Bake Oven. I'm half convinced the reason I never got around to learning how to cook was because I was bitter that I nevr got one of those.
7. Top three celebrities you wanna do?
Marcello Mastroianni circa 1960. Gael Garcia Bernal. Tom Bissell
8. What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
Stupidity. A non-competitive streak in Scrabble.
9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
I'm a chicken. SSSSSSS.
10. Worst thing you've ever said out loud?
I have a bad habit of making fot in the mouth comments. There are too many to say.
11. You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution what's your last meal?
Bee Bim Bop. Panang. Butter Chicken Curry. Rice Pudding. Cheese Grits. Frosty and frnech fries from Wendy's. Sushi. Pear. Chicken Bisuit. This also might be the ist of food that I have wanted over the last month and a hlaf.
12. What's something that most people do that you've never done?
See Monty Python.
13. Before you die you want to go to...?
Thailand, India, Cambodia. Ghana. Ecuador. Chile. Prague. Greece. Hong Kong. Antarctica.
14. Something you'd really like to do but probably wont ever be able to do?
Play upright bass. My hands are too small.
15. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
Does an all black pug count as a wild animal? Ok, no? Ummm, a meerkat.
16. A drug you'll never try?
I think I have all my basess covered. But, I'd never try anything other than pot again.
17. If you were an animal what would you be?
A pigeon. And I'd fly overhead and shit on people I don't like.
18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?
Aaron Demoss. But we'd cheat on each otehr despite having a happy marriage.
19. What's something most people don't know about you?
Nothing.
20. First celebrity crush?
Cartoon: Prince Eric
Real person: George Clooney. Fourth grade. would sneak downstairs and watch ER in the basement every Thursday night at 10. I wrote him a letter a week offering to babysit his pet pig in exchange for him marrying me.
21. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
My wit! Seriously, my scary pointy witch shoes.
23. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)?
Waffles. Hands down. Everything bagel with lox, cream cheese red onions and capers close second. Speaking of which. Add that to my last meal.
24. Favorite parody movie?
Spinal Tap
25. Worst way to die?
Drowning. Scratch that. Snake bite.
26. Grossest injury you've ever seen?
When Bethany lost her elbow.
27. The worst injury you've ever had?
Breaking my pinky toe.
28. Favorite thing about thanksgiving?
EVERYTHINGEVERYTHINGEVERYTHING. Cooking, eating, expanding my stomach for te weeks preceding the holiday so I can fit more food, family quarrels, usually being in New York, food, leftovers, the weather. the parades. Best holiday ever. My personal favorite. Any holiday that focuses on food is amazing.
29. Sport you hate the most?
Golf
30. What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
Austin, Chicago, Portland... a lot. I've never travelled west of the Mississippi. I'm missing a lot.
31. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
History.
32. Favorite Actor/Actress?
Alan Arkin. Steve Buschemi. Alan Rickman. Pretty much everyone Christopher Guest uses in his films.
33. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
Ridonculous. Anywho. Any sort of dumb combination word.
34. What makes an awesome party?
People that you like... this question is stupid.
35. What's your material obsession?
Books.
36. What's something most would consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
I have a big ass. I wear my jew butt with pride.
37. Favorite kind of dog?
Pugs. All black specifically. If it's not an all black pug than, aesthetically, bassett hounds. For all around awesome dogs though, female boston terriers.
38. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
Corndogs. But, the turkey legs at the Rennaissance festival are pretty amazing.
39. Morning or night person?
Morning. But, I do very well in the evenings as well.
40. Worst drunken/drugged up habit?
Drunken emailing. As soon as I have a drink in me I also get very scrump-minded. That's usually what leads to stupid, irritating drunken emails.
41. Weirdest ebay purchase?
I don't really use ebay. This skirt I bought that I thought was really great in the picture and when it arrived, reminded me of an ugly hippie sack skirt.
42. Favorite food to eat when you're wasted?
Hashbrowns diced, covered, smotherd, sliced, diced, whatever else you can do to them. And grilled cheese. Pretty much anything salty. Grill fries with feta dip.
43. Its Saturday at 3am where are you?
These days. At the bonfire behind our building surrounded by empty 1.25euro bottles of wine, or at Bar Sport or the Lion's Well. Both local bars. In Athens or Atlanta. At this point I have forced whoever I m with to leave so we can scrump.
44. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?
Depends.
45.Worst job you've ever had?
Doc Cheys.
46. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Foot in the mouth comments. I have a lot of stupid things I do. All of which are subject to mockery. Apparently I have a lot of weird phrases that I repeat a lot. And I'm told I have weird vocal inflection.
47. Favorite cereal?
Honey Nut Cheerios. I got burned out on Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds.
48. Book you could read repeatedly?
Anything by Roahl Dahl, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or Vladimir Nabokov
49. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
Written balls on Jeff's head when he fell aslee drunk and passed out on the couch at Hot Corner after the Melvins show.
50. What's your favorite movie quote?
I don't have one in particular. Generally I like ones from Pulp Fiction, Big Lebowski, and most Stanley Kubrick films.
Jesus. And then I hang him up.
2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias who is it?
Margorie Lucius
3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
West Virginia. The only good thing about that states are the jokes you can make up.
4. You wake up as the opposite gender - what's the one thing you wanna try?
EDIT: I honestly cannot think of a good answer to this question. Frankly, I think it's a lot easier being a girl in several respects because we get to pass things off on our gender all of the time. I would probably wake up and try to slap the penis right off and go back to being a girl.
5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Darth.
6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
Easy Bake Oven. I'm half convinced the reason I never got around to learning how to cook was because I was bitter that I nevr got one of those.
7. Top three celebrities you wanna do?
Marcello Mastroianni circa 1960. Gael Garcia Bernal. Tom Bissell
8. What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
Stupidity. A non-competitive streak in Scrabble.
9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
I'm a chicken. SSSSSSS.
10. Worst thing you've ever said out loud?
I have a bad habit of making fot in the mouth comments. There are too many to say.
11. You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution what's your last meal?
Bee Bim Bop. Panang. Butter Chicken Curry. Rice Pudding. Cheese Grits. Frosty and frnech fries from Wendy's. Sushi. Pear. Chicken Bisuit. This also might be the ist of food that I have wanted over the last month and a hlaf.
12. What's something that most people do that you've never done?
See Monty Python.
13. Before you die you want to go to...?
Thailand, India, Cambodia. Ghana. Ecuador. Chile. Prague. Greece. Hong Kong. Antarctica.
14. Something you'd really like to do but probably wont ever be able to do?
Play upright bass. My hands are too small.
15. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
Does an all black pug count as a wild animal? Ok, no? Ummm, a meerkat.
16. A drug you'll never try?
I think I have all my basess covered. But, I'd never try anything other than pot again.
17. If you were an animal what would you be?
A pigeon. And I'd fly overhead and shit on people I don't like.
18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?
Aaron Demoss. But we'd cheat on each otehr despite having a happy marriage.
19. What's something most people don't know about you?
Nothing.
20. First celebrity crush?
Cartoon: Prince Eric
Real person: George Clooney. Fourth grade. would sneak downstairs and watch ER in the basement every Thursday night at 10. I wrote him a letter a week offering to babysit his pet pig in exchange for him marrying me.
21. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
My wit! Seriously, my scary pointy witch shoes.
23. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)?
Waffles. Hands down. Everything bagel with lox, cream cheese red onions and capers close second. Speaking of which. Add that to my last meal.
24. Favorite parody movie?
Spinal Tap
25. Worst way to die?
Drowning. Scratch that. Snake bite.
26. Grossest injury you've ever seen?
When Bethany lost her elbow.
27. The worst injury you've ever had?
Breaking my pinky toe.
28. Favorite thing about thanksgiving?
EVERYTHINGEVERYTHINGEVERYTHING. Cooking, eating, expanding my stomach for te weeks preceding the holiday so I can fit more food, family quarrels, usually being in New York, food, leftovers, the weather. the parades. Best holiday ever. My personal favorite. Any holiday that focuses on food is amazing.
29. Sport you hate the most?
Golf
30. What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
Austin, Chicago, Portland... a lot. I've never travelled west of the Mississippi. I'm missing a lot.
31. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
History.
32. Favorite Actor/Actress?
Alan Arkin. Steve Buschemi. Alan Rickman. Pretty much everyone Christopher Guest uses in his films.
33. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
Ridonculous. Anywho. Any sort of dumb combination word.
34. What makes an awesome party?
People that you like... this question is stupid.
35. What's your material obsession?
Books.
36. What's something most would consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
I have a big ass. I wear my jew butt with pride.
37. Favorite kind of dog?
Pugs. All black specifically. If it's not an all black pug than, aesthetically, bassett hounds. For all around awesome dogs though, female boston terriers.
38. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
Corndogs. But, the turkey legs at the Rennaissance festival are pretty amazing.
39. Morning or night person?
Morning. But, I do very well in the evenings as well.
40. Worst drunken/drugged up habit?
Drunken emailing. As soon as I have a drink in me I also get very scrump-minded. That's usually what leads to stupid, irritating drunken emails.
41. Weirdest ebay purchase?
I don't really use ebay. This skirt I bought that I thought was really great in the picture and when it arrived, reminded me of an ugly hippie sack skirt.
42. Favorite food to eat when you're wasted?
Hashbrowns diced, covered, smotherd, sliced, diced, whatever else you can do to them. And grilled cheese. Pretty much anything salty. Grill fries with feta dip.
43. Its Saturday at 3am where are you?
These days. At the bonfire behind our building surrounded by empty 1.25euro bottles of wine, or at Bar Sport or the Lion's Well. Both local bars. In Athens or Atlanta. At this point I have forced whoever I m with to leave so we can scrump.
44. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?
Depends.
45.Worst job you've ever had?
Doc Cheys.
46. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Foot in the mouth comments. I have a lot of stupid things I do. All of which are subject to mockery. Apparently I have a lot of weird phrases that I repeat a lot. And I'm told I have weird vocal inflection.
47. Favorite cereal?
Honey Nut Cheerios. I got burned out on Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds.
48. Book you could read repeatedly?
Anything by Roahl Dahl, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or Vladimir Nabokov
49. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
Written balls on Jeff's head when he fell aslee drunk and passed out on the couch at Hot Corner after the Melvins show.
50. What's your favorite movie quote?
I don't have one in particular. Generally I like ones from Pulp Fiction, Big Lebowski, and most Stanley Kubrick films.