Wow, I forgot what it felt like
to actually feel good. Today was the best day I've had in a long time, even though nothing particularly amazing happened. Took a test on the French Revolution that I was freaking out over- and it was EASY. French is going well, math test tomorrow looks like it's going to be a piece of cake, and we're watching a movie in Spanish that I actually can UNDERSTAND. I got 300 words written today, finally getting into a scene I really wanted to do... Tarot and meditation are being a lot of fun, my rabbit's being adorable, I'm reading a good book about dogs, I finally know what I'm doing on Maggie May on guitar... and, last but not least, I find myself unable to stop watching "Teenage Dream" from Glee last week.
I'm still pretty alone in my mind- though Luke (who I think was my first almost-soulbond) visited last night after we watched Star Wars Episode IV, and remarked, "you've grown up." Yeah, I have. :) I'm still having those weird deja-vu things... it's almost *that* time, which is usually what I used to judge when I'd feel it.. but I think I may ask my dad/stepmom if I could call my doc about it. (I don't really talk to my physical doctor a lot- I think we still go to the pediatrician, and I just go if I need shots/a checkup/school physical, so I don't know how it works, but... :/) I think I'm a little reluctant to ask about it because I'm afraid of being told that there's something wrong with my brain that'll result in me being unable to do something, like drive or get T, or whatever.
I'm feeling a lot more comfortable with myself lately. I've gotten a couple more kids to start referring to me as "he," which is great- even one freshman that sits at my table (he's friends with my new best friend) does it once in a while (totally forgot today and used "her/she" about five times in the same sentence XD). I forget if I mentioned it, but I have talked with my dad about the physical/health effects of T. I need to talk with him a little bit about the thoughts behind it next.. I forget when I next have therapy, but I think we're gonna have it soon. Also, as weird as it sounds, I now seem to be starting a crusade to make myself more stereotypically gay. XD I'm trying to recruit one of my friends to teach me how to cook, among other things. Oh, how strange life is.
Hoping this good feeling continues for a bit longer. MYA tomorrow, hopefully with friends, and hopefully I'll get to see Davya soon. :) Love you guys!
I'm still pretty alone in my mind- though Luke (who I think was my first almost-soulbond) visited last night after we watched Star Wars Episode IV, and remarked, "you've grown up." Yeah, I have. :) I'm still having those weird deja-vu things... it's almost *that* time, which is usually what I used to judge when I'd feel it.. but I think I may ask my dad/stepmom if I could call my doc about it. (I don't really talk to my physical doctor a lot- I think we still go to the pediatrician, and I just go if I need shots/a checkup/school physical, so I don't know how it works, but... :/) I think I'm a little reluctant to ask about it because I'm afraid of being told that there's something wrong with my brain that'll result in me being unable to do something, like drive or get T, or whatever.
I'm feeling a lot more comfortable with myself lately. I've gotten a couple more kids to start referring to me as "he," which is great- even one freshman that sits at my table (he's friends with my new best friend) does it once in a while (totally forgot today and used "her/she" about five times in the same sentence XD). I forget if I mentioned it, but I have talked with my dad about the physical/health effects of T. I need to talk with him a little bit about the thoughts behind it next.. I forget when I next have therapy, but I think we're gonna have it soon. Also, as weird as it sounds, I now seem to be starting a crusade to make myself more stereotypically gay. XD I'm trying to recruit one of my friends to teach me how to cook, among other things. Oh, how strange life is.
Hoping this good feeling continues for a bit longer. MYA tomorrow, hopefully with friends, and hopefully I'll get to see Davya soon. :) Love you guys!