Things have not gone quite right lately...
Yesterday was the strangest day I've had in a while. Started out very good- did all that writing I posted yesterday, did a lot of playing on the computer, was excited for MYA... and then the afternoon started going downhill.
I was all packed, dressed, and waiting for dad to finish his shower so we could go. I was watching my brothers playing with plastic weapons on top of the stairs, and decided to join in. It was a lot of fun, we were laughing, and then Joe pretends to throw his at me and I duck... and hit my face on the railing. I hear this kind of "clink" noise, which was really weird, and I'm on the ground with my hand over my face. Hurts a little bit, but not extremely so. My first thoughts were "yay, I'm not dead" and then "oh my god I'm gonna have a huge bruise." Boys ask if I'm okay, and by this point I'm laughing. Joe's joking around saying "look at all the blood," and suddenly I feel nervous. Finally take my hand away- and it's covered in blood.
We clean it up, put a band-aid on it, and head over to mom's. Apart from a short crying spell from seeing blood/worrying that I'd have to get stitches, I'm feeling fine. We're laughing about it all the way over. I don't show it to mom 'cause I'd rather go to MYA than get stitches... now I'm wondering if I should've done that.
MYA didn't go so great. Started off well- I liked how I looked, I knew most of the people there, and though it was a large group and I'm not usually fond of those, it seemed like it'd be okay. Brendan was there again, and I was determined to talk to him this time. Intros go by amazingly fast. During/before, I got a lot of waves, hugs, and comments about my eye (of course :P) and it was a lot of fun. Then we break to socialize for the last hour/fifteen minutes. That's the first bit of bad news.
Everyone breaks into little groups, and I'm still sitting in the corner where I was during intros. True, I know people, but they know each other better, and I feel bad about trying to interject in a conversation when I don't really know what they're talking about. Maybe it's better to stand with people silently than on your own silently, but... *shrug* I spent most of the next hour just sitting around... Tried to play a game with some people but they lost interest pretty fast and I was on my own again. Left to walk to the cafe- closed. Walk back to MYA and now miserable because it's freezing cold and I'm lonely. People are putting the chairs away and stuff, so I help, then get a lift to the nearby Starbucks where most of the kids went to. Still can't manage to talk to people. End up going outside because I felt like crying and ask dad if we can go home.
I'm waiting for dad, and something that really should have made me smile but just made me feel worse was when Brendan was leaving, he said goodbye to me- he remembered my name... and I felt like an idiot because I could have tried talking to him all night and he probably would have talked with me. Because I know I probably will try and find any excuse not to text him even though I really should... I really wish I were more outgoing. It's starting to piss me off.
So yeah, not feeling so hot today. I hope things get better.
I was all packed, dressed, and waiting for dad to finish his shower so we could go. I was watching my brothers playing with plastic weapons on top of the stairs, and decided to join in. It was a lot of fun, we were laughing, and then Joe pretends to throw his at me and I duck... and hit my face on the railing. I hear this kind of "clink" noise, which was really weird, and I'm on the ground with my hand over my face. Hurts a little bit, but not extremely so. My first thoughts were "yay, I'm not dead" and then "oh my god I'm gonna have a huge bruise." Boys ask if I'm okay, and by this point I'm laughing. Joe's joking around saying "look at all the blood," and suddenly I feel nervous. Finally take my hand away- and it's covered in blood.
We clean it up, put a band-aid on it, and head over to mom's. Apart from a short crying spell from seeing blood/worrying that I'd have to get stitches, I'm feeling fine. We're laughing about it all the way over. I don't show it to mom 'cause I'd rather go to MYA than get stitches... now I'm wondering if I should've done that.
MYA didn't go so great. Started off well- I liked how I looked, I knew most of the people there, and though it was a large group and I'm not usually fond of those, it seemed like it'd be okay. Brendan was there again, and I was determined to talk to him this time. Intros go by amazingly fast. During/before, I got a lot of waves, hugs, and comments about my eye (of course :P) and it was a lot of fun. Then we break to socialize for the last hour/fifteen minutes. That's the first bit of bad news.
Everyone breaks into little groups, and I'm still sitting in the corner where I was during intros. True, I know people, but they know each other better, and I feel bad about trying to interject in a conversation when I don't really know what they're talking about. Maybe it's better to stand with people silently than on your own silently, but... *shrug* I spent most of the next hour just sitting around... Tried to play a game with some people but they lost interest pretty fast and I was on my own again. Left to walk to the cafe- closed. Walk back to MYA and now miserable because it's freezing cold and I'm lonely. People are putting the chairs away and stuff, so I help, then get a lift to the nearby Starbucks where most of the kids went to. Still can't manage to talk to people. End up going outside because I felt like crying and ask dad if we can go home.
I'm waiting for dad, and something that really should have made me smile but just made me feel worse was when Brendan was leaving, he said goodbye to me- he remembered my name... and I felt like an idiot because I could have tried talking to him all night and he probably would have talked with me. Because I know I probably will try and find any excuse not to text him even though I really should... I really wish I were more outgoing. It's starting to piss me off.
So yeah, not feeling so hot today. I hope things get better.