(no subject)
I was going fine until this evening….then it just went crazy. I was just listening to some relaxing music…then I made the mistake of just listening and not doing something else at the same time. I suddenly became ultra-sad-depressed-less-than-happy very quickly. I should know better than do that to myself. I started thinking of all the times I wish were still around…people that were still around… emotions that I haven’t had for almost a year now to come back in some way so I can break this impenetrable fog I’ve been walking around in. Then came the breaking point…my dad reminded me that today marks the three year anniversary of my grandfather’s death from advanced diabetes/heart problems. That just broke it. I’m not ashamed to say that I indeed cried. Just opened the gates to all the pain, real or imagined that I’ve been carrying around with me for whatever reason. I know I’m really on the low end of the spectrum in terms of problems in my life, I mean, who doesn’t have problems? But this is at least a bit therapeutic to my brain. And I’d really like to have a positive post once in a while. I really would.