god im sick of the pain
Well its been a whole day, & its so hard
He was my best friend and my first true love.
I cry thinking about it & what I feel is unexplainable. I feel as if apart of me is missing and I’m empty and its killing me…I truly already miss him.
Crying has been my life for the past 24 hours. I think about it I cry, I talk about it I cry you mention it enough, ill cry and I cry myself to sleep and when I wake up im full of tears, crying as I write this.
Hearing his voice over then phone makes it hard too. And I hate that I cant talk to him without crying….its terrible.
But everyone is saying we’ll be fine and everyone is telling me its gunna make us stronger and everyone is also saying were gunna appreciate each other more and every time we see each other will be the best.
I hope they’re right..
-I hope this goes away, cuz I hate it.
I try to stop but everything reminds me of him & its not the same without him..
Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I never want to do it again. I love him more than he’ll ever know and I miss him more than anyone will ever know.
This sucks
As pathetic as that all sounds, it’s the truth. Im a wreck. And I hate it. I want what im missing to come back, but it just cant.
As for that he made my birthday amazing when I thought it was going to be the worst ever. And ill never forget it. A rose peddle trail to my new pet froggy. A cute outfit with, lotions and such and then the best thing ever… He made me a 13 minute slideshow of us with pictures, and picked the perfect songs to go with it..
God I love him.
As for that huge part in my life….the other little things are ok.
*I <3 my friends for being there.
*Work is going to take over my life….
*Nick is coming home next weekend but leaving for Chicago, but I don’t care I still get to see him and feel whole for a little
*School starts next Thursday….
*My family is amazing
& some etc…
& just maybe all this will keep my mind off of what is killing me.
But I don’t feel good at all. So I’m gunna go shower than lay down.
sorry its all sappy and pathetic...but u dont understand