(no subject)
D.I. Branston: Looks like we're in a bit of a pickle.
D.I. Dimebar: Things sure are crunchy on the inside.
D.I. Branston: That's not even a saying, stop that.
D.I. Dimebar: I'll stop when you stop your shit.
D.I. Branston: Cunt.
D.I.+1 Hodge: STOP THIS BICKERING AT ONCE, I'VE GIVEN YOU YOUR P45s NOW GIT THA FECK AHT OF MAH POLICE BOAT!
D.I. Branston: But I haven't gotten my deep sea diving suit with me.
D.I.+1 Hodge: Well, it looks like yer in a bit of a pickle, eh, Branston?
D.I. Branston: I just said that you fekken cunt. Stop stealing my cockin' jokes.
*Dimebar cuntsmacks Branston*
D.I.+1 Hodge: Wonderful work, Dimebar, yer promoted!
D.I. Dimebar: AWESOME WE'RE CO-WORKERS!
D.I.+1 Hodge: What, no, you just got fired, seriously, yer promoted from peasent to urinal.
D.I. Dimebar: Piss!
D.I.+1 Hodge: Now leave mah POLICE BOAT! Before tha choppah gets 'ere.
*Dimebar and Branston leave, a chopper gets here*
PC Cop(p)[t]er: I JUST FLEW IN HERE AND BOY IS MY COPTER OUTTA PETROL!
D.I.+1 Hodge: *bfft* Mary, hello Mary, print me out some more P45s please thank you.
PC Cop(p)[t]er: Oh boy oh boy I think I'm going to like this position Mr. Hodge sir.
D.I.+1 Hodge: This position is FILLED!
PC Cop(p)[t]er: What? Are you gone? I just got here!
D.I.+1 Hodge: Allow me to elaborate, YOUR position is filled in tha same manner that YOU are filled WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB HOLY FUCK!
PC Cop(p)[t]er: Man, you're gone, that ticking is just my watch. See, see my watch see how it's ticking, because it's constantly moving, only, oh god it's still 11:45, wasn't it 11:45 59 minutes ago?
D.I.+1 Hodge: *bfft* Mary I'm ejecting the fuck out of 'ere for immediate reasons, but I want you to know that I love how you still haven't got me those P45s. You'll die a failure.
*Hodge ejects 1000m into the air*
D.I.+1 Hodge Farewell, fair POLICE BOAT.
*Before descending as quickly as he rose, 30 seconds later the nuclear bomb explodes many people have lost their hats*
(the hats are a metaphor for the character's lives)
[misplaced prologue - i have a boat fetish i thing]
D.I. Dimebar: Things sure are crunchy on the inside.
D.I. Branston: That's not even a saying, stop that.
D.I. Dimebar: I'll stop when you stop your shit.
D.I. Branston: Cunt.
D.I.+1 Hodge: STOP THIS BICKERING AT ONCE, I'VE GIVEN YOU YOUR P45s NOW GIT THA FECK AHT OF MAH POLICE BOAT!
D.I. Branston: But I haven't gotten my deep sea diving suit with me.
D.I.+1 Hodge: Well, it looks like yer in a bit of a pickle, eh, Branston?
D.I. Branston: I just said that you fekken cunt. Stop stealing my cockin' jokes.
*Dimebar cuntsmacks Branston*
D.I.+1 Hodge: Wonderful work, Dimebar, yer promoted!
D.I. Dimebar: AWESOME WE'RE CO-WORKERS!
D.I.+1 Hodge: What, no, you just got fired, seriously, yer promoted from peasent to urinal.
D.I. Dimebar: Piss!
D.I.+1 Hodge: Now leave mah POLICE BOAT! Before tha choppah gets 'ere.
*Dimebar and Branston leave, a chopper gets here*
PC Cop(p)[t]er: I JUST FLEW IN HERE AND BOY IS MY COPTER OUTTA PETROL!
D.I.+1 Hodge: *bfft* Mary, hello Mary, print me out some more P45s please thank you.
PC Cop(p)[t]er: Oh boy oh boy I think I'm going to like this position Mr. Hodge sir.
D.I.+1 Hodge: This position is FILLED!
PC Cop(p)[t]er: What? Are you gone? I just got here!
D.I.+1 Hodge: Allow me to elaborate, YOUR position is filled in tha same manner that YOU are filled WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB HOLY FUCK!
PC Cop(p)[t]er: Man, you're gone, that ticking is just my watch. See, see my watch see how it's ticking, because it's constantly moving, only, oh god it's still 11:45, wasn't it 11:45 59 minutes ago?
D.I.+1 Hodge: *bfft* Mary I'm ejecting the fuck out of 'ere for immediate reasons, but I want you to know that I love how you still haven't got me those P45s. You'll die a failure.
*Hodge ejects 1000m into the air*
D.I.+1 Hodge Farewell, fair POLICE BOAT.
*Before descending as quickly as he rose, 30 seconds later the nuclear bomb explodes many people have lost their hats*
(the hats are a metaphor for the character's lives)
[misplaced prologue - i have a boat fetish i thing]