(no subject)
Okay, so, I'm very relieved. Here's the long story why:
The first week of camp was excellent. I was so revved-up and ready to be this super-awesome counselor that when the kids got here, I greeted the parents and helped carry luggage up to camper's rooms without breaking stride. The first few days were awesome, until I realized that I was stuck with the toughest class of the bunch... I had the kids who wanted me to do everything for them while they sat and watched. That was stressful, but, I dealt with it, and I had a really good time with the kids. I stayed up late with a kid who couldn't sleep, and I felt good about myself. On Friday, I was sorry to see them go.
So, that weekend flew by, and on Sunday when Week Two's kids arrived, I wasn't quite as excited as I had been the first week. It didn't help that when the kids started showing up, most of them gave me a really negative first impression... total stonefaces or attitudes from the lot of them. It wasn't a good sign.
Week Two was total hell. The kids were pretty much all assholes, and we had two separate fights break out with the overnighters. Physical violence is such a wonderful way to end an evening... anyway, they left, and I was so fucking relieved to see them go, but, I spent the entire weekend pondering whether or not I even wanted to stay in Chicago. I had a shitty/awkward night on Saturday night when I was hanging out with my fellow counselors and realized just how fake and unlike me they are... I mean, it's fine that they're different. I just felt like I was being criticized for who I am. I don't dig that.
I slept good on Saturday night. I'm not sure if it's that I didn't want to wake up this morning, or what. I just slept and slept, and finally woke up around 10am. I stayed in my room and limited contact with my coworkers until the last possible minute, and then a miracle happened--
A group of kids that rivals the goodness of the first week's campers arrived. These kids are incredible. They're a bit younger (which helps lower the cynacism), and they're so friendly and just willing to participate that I'm almost considering this an act of God. So, thanks, big guy.
I feel so good tonight. This is how I thought this job would be. I'll write last week off as a fluke. A bad fluke. A really fucking bad fluke. But this week will be better.
I learned how to play "Screaming Infidelities" and "Again I Go Unnoticed" today. Debby and Jon both overheard me, and they were like "Whoah... I wish I was talented." It feels good to have something beautiful come out of those strings again. It seems such a long time.
About that butterfly, kiddo... sometimes the best thing we can do is just see. You saw.
The first week of camp was excellent. I was so revved-up and ready to be this super-awesome counselor that when the kids got here, I greeted the parents and helped carry luggage up to camper's rooms without breaking stride. The first few days were awesome, until I realized that I was stuck with the toughest class of the bunch... I had the kids who wanted me to do everything for them while they sat and watched. That was stressful, but, I dealt with it, and I had a really good time with the kids. I stayed up late with a kid who couldn't sleep, and I felt good about myself. On Friday, I was sorry to see them go.
So, that weekend flew by, and on Sunday when Week Two's kids arrived, I wasn't quite as excited as I had been the first week. It didn't help that when the kids started showing up, most of them gave me a really negative first impression... total stonefaces or attitudes from the lot of them. It wasn't a good sign.
Week Two was total hell. The kids were pretty much all assholes, and we had two separate fights break out with the overnighters. Physical violence is such a wonderful way to end an evening... anyway, they left, and I was so fucking relieved to see them go, but, I spent the entire weekend pondering whether or not I even wanted to stay in Chicago. I had a shitty/awkward night on Saturday night when I was hanging out with my fellow counselors and realized just how fake and unlike me they are... I mean, it's fine that they're different. I just felt like I was being criticized for who I am. I don't dig that.
I slept good on Saturday night. I'm not sure if it's that I didn't want to wake up this morning, or what. I just slept and slept, and finally woke up around 10am. I stayed in my room and limited contact with my coworkers until the last possible minute, and then a miracle happened--
A group of kids that rivals the goodness of the first week's campers arrived. These kids are incredible. They're a bit younger (which helps lower the cynacism), and they're so friendly and just willing to participate that I'm almost considering this an act of God. So, thanks, big guy.
I feel so good tonight. This is how I thought this job would be. I'll write last week off as a fluke. A bad fluke. A really fucking bad fluke. But this week will be better.
I learned how to play "Screaming Infidelities" and "Again I Go Unnoticed" today. Debby and Jon both overheard me, and they were like "Whoah... I wish I was talented." It feels good to have something beautiful come out of those strings again. It seems such a long time.
About that butterfly, kiddo... sometimes the best thing we can do is just see. You saw.