(no subject)
I thought that I would be able to keep this journal for longer. But I think it's another year in pasisng that I want to give this whole venture up again and start over somewhere else. There are some things that make me physically ill having to think about now, and I feel like I'm losing spirit here. I took a Seroquil last night and went to bed at 8:30. I wasn't upset. I just don't want to think.
There are days when I don't want to feel anymore. I am falling for JR. I don't want to. I don't have time. I'm so confused. I wish that I could just stop this mess. But my heart races every time he calls and asks me how my day was. I feel safe and protected when I'm with him, but that's probably because he has muscles like there is no tomorrow and he could destroy almost anyone who screwed with him. He tells me I'm adorable. I don't know what to do because I fear this is going to blow up in my face yet again within another few days. I just don't want to care.
"It's better this way," I said, having seen this place before...
Au revoir.
There are days when I don't want to feel anymore. I am falling for JR. I don't want to. I don't have time. I'm so confused. I wish that I could just stop this mess. But my heart races every time he calls and asks me how my day was. I feel safe and protected when I'm with him, but that's probably because he has muscles like there is no tomorrow and he could destroy almost anyone who screwed with him. He tells me I'm adorable. I don't know what to do because I fear this is going to blow up in my face yet again within another few days. I just don't want to care.
"It's better this way," I said, having seen this place before...
Au revoir.