(no subject)
i dont know wut to do anymore. my life is a living hell. Besides Shawn, theres nothing holding me together. im trying so hard to stop cutting but its not that easy. i swore to myslef i was gunna stop cuz Shawn wants me to but i dont know if i really have the strength to. its so hard. i feel so........umm.....idk.....helpless.
i feel guilty (idk wut other word to use) because i feel like Shawn deserves so much better/ can do so much better than me and i feel like im holding him back. i love being with him, i really really do, but there's just something in the back of my head that just wont go away. i told Shawn this and i dont know if he really understands, hell i dont know if i even understand myself anymore. my life is slowly spiraling out of control. i cant handle it anymore. i need out.
well, i guess thats all i have to say for today.
I love you Shawn. <3 <3
Becky @~~~>~~~